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Trynn's Parodies

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In Which The Doodys Meet Mrs. Clifton


Trynn

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“Mrs. Clifton, you have some visitors. I hope you have a nice visit.” Miss Jenkins said as she disappeared from the room.

 

Mrs. Clifton was sitting in a reclining chair, reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. She looked a little tired but otherwise healthy. Her hair was pulled back into a silvery bun. Her face was peacefully calm. She wore a light pink dress and matching slippers. Mrs. Clifton waved them to come closer. Howdy Doody shook her hand. “Good morning!” he said in a voice that was way too cheery for anyone at this time of the morning. “I'm Howdy Doody, and this is my wife Doodley.”

 

“I'm Bax,” said Bax, shaking Mrs. Clifton's hand.

 

“I'm Bollie,” said Bollie, shaking Mrs. Clifton's hand so hard her teeth rattled.

 

“I'm Bitch,” said Bitch, also shaking her hand.

 

“And I'm Baddie,” said Baddie, as she squeezed Mrs. Clifton's hand as hard as her little hand could.

 

Even that was enough to tire Mrs. Clifton out these days, but she decided to do what she could to remain positive. She smiled. “What a lovely family!” She exclaimed as the Doodys stared back at her with gummy vacant smiles that didn't quite reach their eyes. “I've seen your family around, and I can't believe we've never officially met.”

In fact, the Doodys kept to themselves so much that gossip about them ran rampant. Nobody really knew them very well at all, actually.

Howdy continued to smile as he told Mrs. Clifton about finding Honey. Mrs. Clifton wasn't good at hiding her emotions, so Howdy tried to reassure her. “Don't worry,” he said robotically. “No harm was done.”

That you know of Mrs. Clifton thought warily. She didn't think the Doodys would intentionally harm Honey, but with the way they treated the children sometimes.... she forced herself to pay attention to Howdy as he explained how Sharon had told them where to find her.

“It is especially hard to be away from my precious Honey,” she said out loud. I will have to have a talk with Sharon about who she gives my information to. “I know she is a very busy lady. I'm hoping to be back at my house by the end of summer.” Oh dear, that was the wrong thing to say, wasn't it? These pain pills they give me cloud my mind so much. I wish I didn't need them.

“We're sorry to hear about your troubles,” Doodley Doody said, wringing her hands. She looked at Howdy, who nodded. Doodley resumed speaking.  “We want to offer to take care of Honey until you can come home. Your house is right around the corner from us, and the children can walk there every day. They really like Honey, and would be happy to help.” Mrs. Doody clasped her hands together and bit her lip. Was it Mrs. Clifton's imagination, or did she sound nervous? Poor thing probably isn't used to leaving the house, let alone talking to strangers. Or do I just think that because the Narco is kicking in really hard? I need to lie down. I can't think.

“I'm afraid that would be a lot of trouble,” she said through a haze of pain pills.

Mr. Doody took a step closer. His smile remained fixed. “Mrs. Clifton, we would like to take care of Honey.”

Mrs. Clifton smiled. “You're all too kind.” She glanced at the bible tucked under Mr. Doodys arm. “Are you Christians?” Oh why did I ask that? That's a personal question.

Howdy Doody smiled even wider, if that were possible, and said, “Yes. I am only a sinner saved by the blood of Jesus and trusting Him.”

Mrs. Clifton closed her eyes. When she opened them, the Doodys were still there. Howdy looked like he was about to open his Bible, and just the thought of sitting through a bible study made Mrs. Clifton tired. So so tired. “I knew you were not an ordinary family,” she said. “I too love Jesus. I would be very grateful if you would care for Honey.”

Mrs. Clifton wasn't sure the family knew the same Jesus she did. The Jesus she loved would never have spanked Bollie out in public simply for asking her mother for a third animal cracker. Howdy Doody said more things, and opened his Bible and read from it, but Mrs. Clifton was so tired she didn't understand a word.  Finally, a nurse came in and told the Doody family that Mrs. Clifton needed her rest.

The nurse helped Mrs. Clifton get to bed. As she finally drifted off, she thought, I really must remember to call Sharon and give her what for.

 

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I decided the Doody children have B names JUST so I could name two of them "Baddie" and "Bitch."

I thought about getting more creative but there's no point, as the characters are cardboard cutouts in the novels anyway.

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mango_fandango

Posted

I've started writing Moody/Maxwell parodies but they aren't really funny like yours. Then again I haven't written much in them so I can still stick stupid stuff in... :pb_biggrin:

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I'm sure yours are still very good. Lord knows mine could use a bit of work, even if they are decent as they stand.

 

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  • Posts

    • Smee

      Posted

      12 hours ago, Giraffe said:

      I was thinking this after the latest post. I wonder how many of their "patients" are still alive one year after their "treatment." I'd also like to know how many people begin actual medical treatment after leaving there. Eta my guess is not many. If they're deep enough into the woo to go there in the first place* they may dig their heals in further upon leaving. 
       

      *and wealthy enough. Even if they fundraise and sell everything they can to go down there there's still some degree of financial ability to do it. (On that note I wonder how many "patients" or their families come back to the states destitute. 

      Someone posted a link about this way upthread somewhere - a youtube guy who went searching to see how many patients who had started GoFundMes had evidence of being alive or deceased a couple of years post treatment. The stats were pretty much what you'd expect

    • GreenBeans

      Posted

      6 hours ago, Giraffe said:

      I find it strange having a name theme. I'm used to John and Jane happen to start with the same letter and since they stopped at two they technically had a "theme" but only because those were the names they liked. It wasn't some "we have to come up with a name we like that fits the theme." Maybe it's just me but I find it weird that so many second gen Kellers have an intentional theme. (Outside of bible names or something. Eta so I guess I'm used to "bible names" being a theme.  But starting with the same letter is weird to me)

      I think the whole idea of a “name theme” is kind of foreign to me. The biggest family I know personally have 3 kids. More than 3 is really uncommon here. Parents will usually gravitate towards somewhat similar types of names (in terms of social background connotations, modern vs. traditional, similar “vibe”), but I’ve never heard of anyone with a naming theme outside of FJ.

    • Giraffe

      Posted

      1 hour ago, Mrs Ms said:

      Honestly, they could actually be working and still grifting for extra cash. We obviously can’t expect honesty or true transparency from them!

      I would almost be proud of them if they were pulling this off. 

      • Upvote 1
      • I Agree 1
    • Mrs Ms

      Posted

      We have such an obscure naming theme that I’m not sure if my partner even noticed I did it! The obvious one is that all of us have names that are technically biblical, but so common that people don’t automatically associate it. The other 2 things with my kids nobody has ever picked up on.

      • Upvote 1
    • Mrs Ms

      Posted

      Honestly, they could actually be working and still grifting for extra cash. We obviously can’t expect honesty or true transparency from them!

      • Upvote 1
      • I Agree 1


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