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Sharon Meets the Doodys


Trynn

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Another rough draft of my parody Summer With The Doodys. In this episode, the Doodys meet Mrs. Clifton's neighbor, who has been taking care of Honey and is devastated because she's been searching the neighborhood all morning. She's desperately hoping she won't have to start distributing flyers.

 

Sharon Baker looked up from her work. Her heart sank Oh no she groaned inwardly. A family with 4 children was ringing he neighbor's doorbell. One of the boys looked at her, and she quickly bent back over her flower garden. When they find out she's not home, maybe they'll leave.

Sharon continued digging with her spade, even though the hole was already deep enough. Leave leave leave leave leave

The two parents held hands as they and their children walked toward her. Sharon grabbed one of the little containers of flowers and gently pulled it out of the carton, being careful not to tear the actual plant. “Hello there,” she said. After an awkward silence, “May I help you folks?”

“We hope you can. I'm Howdy Doody, and this is my wife, Doodley Doody, and my children: Bax, Bollie, Bitch, and Baddie.”

Before Sharon could react to this, one of the boys spoke up. “I have an easy way that you can remember which name goes with which boy. You see, lots of people confuse our names. We tell them that “a” comes first in the alphabet. Bax is the oldest, and he has the name with 'a.'”

The family stood there smiling and blinking as Sharon tried to take all this in. She hadn't had her morning cup of coffee yet, and was struggling to think. “That.... is a good way to remember them...” her voice trailed off.

Howdy Doody wiped the sweat off his forehead. “We live right around the corner on Raspberry Lane. Last night, a golden retriever, whose name we found out is Honey, was looking for food in our trash cans. We discovered a tag on her collar, and it appears the owner of the dog lives there,” Howdy pointed to Mrs. Clifton's house.

Sharon's heart sank even lower. She knew Honey hadn't been there that morning when she'd gone over to take her out, and she had been praying someone would find her, but the Doodys? Really? Sharon was going to have some choice words with God later, that was for sure. “Did Honey get out? I'm so sorry. Do you still have her?” Sharon's hands shook slightly as she gently set the plant in the soft earth.

“We do. Don't worry. She's actually in the van.”

Sharon let out a sigh of relief. “Oh good.” She hadn't thought the Doodys would do anything maliciously, but they didn't seem like the sharpest crayons in the box. “Yes. The house on the corner is Mrs. Clifton's home, but she's recovering from a broken hip in the Generic Small Town Nursing Home.”

“That's too bad,” Doodley Doody exclaimed.”

“I know,” Sharon smoothed the dirt over the flower and patted it with the shovel. When no one said anything else, she told them, “Mrs. Clifton has been like a grandmother to me. I've been helping her by taking care of Honey. I go over in the evenings and give Honey food and water.” Sharon knew she was babbling, but was unable to stop herself. “She must've dug a hole under the fence. I've been so busy lately and not paying as much attention to the dog as I should.” Suddenly Sharon was worried she'd said too much. Howdy and Doodley Doody exchanged a look that made Sharon's heart rate start to speed up.

“Oh where are my manners? I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Sharon. Sharon Baker.”

But Howdy Doody was no longer paying attention. “You know what,” he said, smiling robotically. “Our children would love to care for Mrs. Clifton's dog.” He took a step closer to her as he spoke. “You don't need to worry about paying them, either. They are happy to get the experience since they're hoping for a dog of their own sometime.”

“Well, that's not...” Sharon started to say, then glanced at the children. They all had such hopeful looks on their faces. Bax was biting his lip while fidgeting with the hem of his polo shirt. Baddie's eyes had gone wide. Bollie and Bitch were doing their best to keep a straight face, showing no emotion except those blank empty smiles all Doodys wore. Sharon relented. “I would be very grateful,” she said. “Honey loves children, so I know she will love yours as well.” Despite her misgivings, she felt she had made the right decision. Suddenly the Doody children's blank empty smiles turned into real ones. They looked genuinely happy.

“My mom recently became ill,” Sharon said, putting the shovel back in her tool kit and standing up. “And I have moved her into my home. Mrs. Clifton has been worried that my caring for the dog is too much since I'm spending so much time helping my mom. With Honey escaping, I think Mrs. Clifton was right. I'm sure she'll be happy if your children would like to watch Honey.”

It would probably be good for the children to take the dog for nice, long walks. And good for the dog too. And I do have so much work to do. I'm so tired...

“I think we'll go over to meet Mrs. Clifton,” said Howdy Doody. “We can keep Honey at our house until we get the hole fixed.”

“Umm.” Sharon had figured she would just keep Honey inside till the hole got fixed. It probably wouldn't take long, really. She glanced again at the faces of the 4 Doody children, and relented yet again. Anything to put real smiles on those children's faces instead of those robotic blank stares they thought looked happy. How much happiness do these children get? I'm probably being too judgmental. The Doodys are weird, but they'd probasbly never harm Honey. What could possibly go wrong?

“Thank you all so much,” Sharon said. “Let me give you my phone number, in case you need to get ahold of me for some reason.” Even as Sharon gave Howdy Doody her number, she wondered if she were making a mistake. Letting the Doody children watch the dog was one thing, but giving Howdy her number?

God, Sharon prayed as the Doodys walked away. Please let this be the right thing. Let the Doodys surprise me. Help me not to judge them too quickly. I know they're weird, but...they know you. Help those children have some real happiness, Lord. Amen.

 

 

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Thank you :) I did that out of laziness, but I might keep it past the rough draft.

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  • Posts

    • 47of74

      Posted

      On 3/7/2024 at 1:30 PM, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

      I was curious about the fellow inmate Creech was convicted of murdering in 1981, the murder for which he received this death sentence. (His previous death sentence for 2 murders in 1974 was reduced to life in prison, because of a 1979 supreme court ruling about the unconstitutional nature of the Idaho law of the time.)

      I found an article from 2019 on East Idaho News. Apparently the sheriff and county prosecutor at the time believed that Creech was a danger to fellow inmates.

      Reportedly the other inmate, David Jensen, attacked Creech first. 

        Reveal hidden contents

      Court documents say David Dale Jensen attacked Thomas Creech with a sock filled with batteries.

      Creech was able to take the weapon away from Jensen, and it was that same weapon Creech would later use to beat Jensen to death.

      (clipped)

      Creech went on to claim self-defense in the incident, but the prosecution argued he went above and beyond self-defense.

      There are a lot more colorful details in that article than the more recent ones have had. Including Creech admitting to at least 26 murders, including some for "satanic cult worship rituals". It gave me the impression that Creech was really unstable, at least back in the 1980s. That isn't how his wife and prison friends describe him now, but I can't imagine trusting him, personally. 

      I was watching some YouTube videos of the Darrell Brooks trial today.  Both the judge and prosecutor described that fornicate stick Brooks as pure evil and a danger to the community - part of the reason he should die in prison or be subjected to the death penalty.  (Unfortunately Wisconsin doesn't have the death penalty).  As I said before an adult having to spend the rest of his or her life in prison is far worse than the early release they'd get if the state ended their lives, but I do believe there are a handful of crimes when the death penalty is warranted.  Both in the Brooks case and in the Creech case.

    • CaptainFunderpants

      Posted

      10 hours ago, postscript said:

      I get the impression the Bontrager marriages are semi-arranged. Marlin and the other patriarch decide two of their kids would be a good match, tell the kids to pray about each other as potential mates, and start planning the wedding. I don’t think Marlin would force his kids to marry anyone they didn’t get along with, but he sees parental approval as more important than romantic love. 

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      According to a guest post they wrote on the Bont blog, Cassidy developed a crush on Josh while being told to pray about her sister and Carson, but Cass thought Josh was out of her league. Josh talks about being terrified to talk to Curtis about pursuing her, and appreciating not only her devotion to God, but her intelligence, playful personality, and joy.

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      I'll be curious to see their final three. The odds seem high that there'll be at least one more Bowers and one more Helferich match -there are just too many similar ages.

    • JermajestyDuggar

      Posted

      First Candice Cameron and now Mel Gibson. It’s like they are trying to pose with actors I don’t like. Maybe next will be Gwyneth Paltrow. 

      7AE50B83-897E-4B8D-8016-009953ED6D79.jpeg

      • Upvote 1
      • WTF 1
    • Howl

      Posted

      6 hours ago, hoipolloi said:

      And an endorsement from America's favorite fake historian:

      BillPOtterFakeHistorian.thumb.png.e61bafff049a3083b22f1dc635dadd6b.png

      He's a self styled historian,  "Bill has earned a well-deserved reputation as a man gifted in communicating the story of God’s providential hand in American history."

      His godly interpretations of the events at East Coast historic sites are more accurate than interpretive park rangers and actual trained  historians. His company is called Landmark Events.  I think he was big with Doug Phillips back in the day. 

      • Upvote 1
    • Antipatriarch

      Posted

      On 4/16/2024 at 1:34 PM, clueliss said:

      Bickle will be closing the organization's doors and opening a new, smaller organization.  (Because a name change will obscure the toxic, slimy ick no doubt)

      Another motivation was apparently to limit legal liability, but Julie Roys quotes Boz Tchividjian from GRACE:

      Quote

      Boz Tchividjian, an attorney who represents multiple Jane Does who’ve accused Bickle of clergy sexual abuse, told TRR that IHOPKC is in “fantasyland” if it thinks closing down and starting a new organization protects its assets from lawsuit. To try to do so would be “fraudulent,” Tchividjian said.

      In their latest communication they're telling their donors: We're not closing! We're just reorganizing. OK then. https://julieroys.com/embattled-ihopkc-still-asking-donations-denies-plans-close/

      • Thank You 2


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