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Sharon Meets the Doodys


Trynn

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Another rough draft of my parody Summer With The Doodys. In this episode, the Doodys meet Mrs. Clifton's neighbor, who has been taking care of Honey and is devastated because she's been searching the neighborhood all morning. She's desperately hoping she won't have to start distributing flyers.

 

Sharon Baker looked up from her work. Her heart sank Oh no she groaned inwardly. A family with 4 children was ringing he neighbor's doorbell. One of the boys looked at her, and she quickly bent back over her flower garden. When they find out she's not home, maybe they'll leave.

Sharon continued digging with her spade, even though the hole was already deep enough. Leave leave leave leave leave

The two parents held hands as they and their children walked toward her. Sharon grabbed one of the little containers of flowers and gently pulled it out of the carton, being careful not to tear the actual plant. “Hello there,” she said. After an awkward silence, “May I help you folks?”

“We hope you can. I'm Howdy Doody, and this is my wife, Doodley Doody, and my children: Bax, Bollie, Bitch, and Baddie.”

Before Sharon could react to this, one of the boys spoke up. “I have an easy way that you can remember which name goes with which boy. You see, lots of people confuse our names. We tell them that “a” comes first in the alphabet. Bax is the oldest, and he has the name with 'a.'”

The family stood there smiling and blinking as Sharon tried to take all this in. She hadn't had her morning cup of coffee yet, and was struggling to think. “That.... is a good way to remember them...” her voice trailed off.

Howdy Doody wiped the sweat off his forehead. “We live right around the corner on Raspberry Lane. Last night, a golden retriever, whose name we found out is Honey, was looking for food in our trash cans. We discovered a tag on her collar, and it appears the owner of the dog lives there,” Howdy pointed to Mrs. Clifton's house.

Sharon's heart sank even lower. She knew Honey hadn't been there that morning when she'd gone over to take her out, and she had been praying someone would find her, but the Doodys? Really? Sharon was going to have some choice words with God later, that was for sure. “Did Honey get out? I'm so sorry. Do you still have her?” Sharon's hands shook slightly as she gently set the plant in the soft earth.

“We do. Don't worry. She's actually in the van.”

Sharon let out a sigh of relief. “Oh good.” She hadn't thought the Doodys would do anything maliciously, but they didn't seem like the sharpest crayons in the box. “Yes. The house on the corner is Mrs. Clifton's home, but she's recovering from a broken hip in the Generic Small Town Nursing Home.”

“That's too bad,” Doodley Doody exclaimed.”

“I know,” Sharon smoothed the dirt over the flower and patted it with the shovel. When no one said anything else, she told them, “Mrs. Clifton has been like a grandmother to me. I've been helping her by taking care of Honey. I go over in the evenings and give Honey food and water.” Sharon knew she was babbling, but was unable to stop herself. “She must've dug a hole under the fence. I've been so busy lately and not paying as much attention to the dog as I should.” Suddenly Sharon was worried she'd said too much. Howdy and Doodley Doody exchanged a look that made Sharon's heart rate start to speed up.

“Oh where are my manners? I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Sharon. Sharon Baker.”

But Howdy Doody was no longer paying attention. “You know what,” he said, smiling robotically. “Our children would love to care for Mrs. Clifton's dog.” He took a step closer to her as he spoke. “You don't need to worry about paying them, either. They are happy to get the experience since they're hoping for a dog of their own sometime.”

“Well, that's not...” Sharon started to say, then glanced at the children. They all had such hopeful looks on their faces. Bax was biting his lip while fidgeting with the hem of his polo shirt. Baddie's eyes had gone wide. Bollie and Bitch were doing their best to keep a straight face, showing no emotion except those blank empty smiles all Doodys wore. Sharon relented. “I would be very grateful,” she said. “Honey loves children, so I know she will love yours as well.” Despite her misgivings, she felt she had made the right decision. Suddenly the Doody children's blank empty smiles turned into real ones. They looked genuinely happy.

“My mom recently became ill,” Sharon said, putting the shovel back in her tool kit and standing up. “And I have moved her into my home. Mrs. Clifton has been worried that my caring for the dog is too much since I'm spending so much time helping my mom. With Honey escaping, I think Mrs. Clifton was right. I'm sure she'll be happy if your children would like to watch Honey.”

It would probably be good for the children to take the dog for nice, long walks. And good for the dog too. And I do have so much work to do. I'm so tired...

“I think we'll go over to meet Mrs. Clifton,” said Howdy Doody. “We can keep Honey at our house until we get the hole fixed.”

“Umm.” Sharon had figured she would just keep Honey inside till the hole got fixed. It probably wouldn't take long, really. She glanced again at the faces of the 4 Doody children, and relented yet again. Anything to put real smiles on those children's faces instead of those robotic blank stares they thought looked happy. How much happiness do these children get? I'm probably being too judgmental. The Doodys are weird, but they'd probasbly never harm Honey. What could possibly go wrong?

“Thank you all so much,” Sharon said. “Let me give you my phone number, in case you need to get ahold of me for some reason.” Even as Sharon gave Howdy Doody her number, she wondered if she were making a mistake. Letting the Doody children watch the dog was one thing, but giving Howdy her number?

God, Sharon prayed as the Doodys walked away. Please let this be the right thing. Let the Doodys surprise me. Help me not to judge them too quickly. I know they're weird, but...they know you. Help those children have some real happiness, Lord. Amen.

 

 

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Thank you :) I did that out of laziness, but I might keep it past the rough draft.

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  • Posts

    • Red Hair, Black Dress

      Posted (edited)

      I think she unenthusiastically said yes to the first man Scotty Brown (not/never father of the year) convinced/ coerced to take her and the 6 step kids.

      Hope she is happy, but intuition tells me no, and that she believes the unhappiness is normal married life.

      Really really really hope she wasn't "convicted" to have more children.

      Edited by Red Hair, Black Dress
    • JermajestyDuggar

      Posted

      20 hours ago, zimona said:

      Childless semi-old catlady here. I don't hate kids. I hate parents who don't bother to teach their kids (age apropriate, of course) about boundaries. I'm quite happy to let kids be kids. But if they start to actively pester me and intrude on me (like trying to drink from MY lemonade in a Café, or wiping their chocolate covered fingers on my backpack during train rides...) then I will speak up and tell them to stop, and I'm fully aware that to the innocent bystander I might come across as 'hating' kids, especially since I might be a bit worked up at that point. I'm not blaming the kids, they don't know better. I'm blaming those parents who shy away from putting a brake on their kids' (sometimes) too exuberant behaviour. 

      What’s funny is I often say this about dogs! 🤣🤣🤣 Every time I find myself hating a dog, I realize I just hate how horrible the owner is. It’s always someone who lets their dog get away with the most horrific behavior at the expense of other people. 

      • Upvote 4
      • I Agree 1
    • 4boysmum

      Posted

      I have a bunch of kids and as much as I love them they also drive me nuts.  They can be loud and messy.  The younger ones are still figuring out where their personal space ends and other people's (mostly mine!) begins.  But I can't ever imagine them doing something like drinking someone else's lemonade.  And if they ever took leave of their senses long enough to try, I would deal with it ASAP and also buy you another lemonade.

      My kids are my responsibility and if they act up in public it's my job to correct them or take them somewhere else so they aren't disturbing others.  

      But I have also occasionally come across people who do seem to resent children being present in public at all.  Don't think they should be brought to restaurants, etc.  I couldn't say what percentage of the childfree population feels that way, but people like that do exist.  And I think it's a shame because (a) how do you teach kids to behave in places like restaurants if you don't take them to practice, and (b) if I've put in the work to teach my kids how to behave in various places and they are not being disruptive, they really do have just as much right to be there as any other segment of the population.

      • Upvote 1
      • I Agree 2
    • CarrotCake

      Posted

      It makes me wonder: would these modesty-fundies be okay with swimwear on girls-only trips?

      In this case it is filmed and published so the same standards as public places would apply but what if it was a private moment between friends and family?

      For instance, Muslim women do not dress with the same modesty standards in the private of their household.

      • Upvote 1
    • EmiSue

      Posted

      3 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

      There is also a toy rabbit with a pink ribbon in the picture.

      Either they use it to honor Isla or it’s an announcement for a girl. 

      My guess is to honor Isla, since she'd be a few months old now if she made it, but could be both.

      • Upvote 1


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