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Buffy's Commentary

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The small and not so small stuff...



I'm okay in a crisis.  What will break me immediately is the small stuff.

I'm sure it goes without saying that last week nothing mattered to me except my son's medical crisis.  Heck I let my daughter borrow ,u car for two days and forgot about it which ...if you knew how attached I am to my car you'd know how significant that is.

mini-Buffy is another one who deserves not only a diamond house but her own private island filled with animals and happiness ...she was so amazing I don't know what I'd have done without her.

So...the small stuff...

Last Wednesday was to be my last day at work.  I notified them of course, but I obviously didn't make it in.  Text after text badgering me about not calling to speak to the owner personally if I'm not coming back after all these years, etc., they deserve the courtesy of a conversation.  They were in the text where I notified work I wasn't coming in and why.  That I was hounded for being rude about not giving a fuck about how they felt about my missing my last three days is sociopathic to me.  They then needed all my stuff back immediately so my husband took time to drive down with everything - phone, keys, docks, credit card, etc.  

keep in mind I've worked there for almost a decade and they've met my son on numerous occasions,

Hounded me for not returning the iPad.  The one that was not work issue and was given to me specicifxally as a bonus/thank you by one owner who told me not to tell the other one.  I replied why it wasn't returned but fine - will send it back fed ex in next few days but not that day as my husband was needed at the hospital with us and wasn't going home until late.  More texts about they're all concerned about my son but they need to get things wrapped up.

because multimillionaires couldn't wait another couple days to get back a 2 year old iPad with a cracked screen which legally is mine to keep but they don't remember that conversation and I don't give a fuck.  And I was to call and discuss it - yeah - every fucking text ended with 'I really think you should call her personally.'

This woman has rarely treated me with anything but contempt in the last 18 months or so and I don't need it. 

Not to mention stress of starting a new job Monday.  When new boss called and I told him I couldn't talk as I was in hospital with my son he said he totally understood and just to let him know if I need to change my start date.  Then didn't bother me about anything else.  So...hopefull indication that I might be working for humans and not narscisistic monsters this time?

im not usually this bitter and can typically see good with bad but honestly - it was all I could do to hold it together for my son and I did not have it in me to go Into the hall and have some stupid conversation to assuage the ego of my former boss.  It's not like I was refusing to out of spite - I couldn't.  I didn't have it in me.  I felt like I was getting beaten up by text and couldn't face it.

thing was I planned in sending an email when he was okay and dust settled to say goodbye and sorry for the unavoidable early exit but now I have nothing civil to say.  (I gave 2 months notice and extended twice at their request.  But apparently those last 3 days an an old iPad were critical for some reason known only to the voices in their heads.)

I was able to hold it together for my son, dealt with my former in laws and ex like a champ (they were fine - but it's always awkward), but this had me so angry I didn't know how to process it.  Why care?  I don't give a shit - I dont work there anymore and my final check cleared so why does it matter?  It doesn't but that anger was from somewhere.  Just like they thought their trivial bullshit even merited a conversation when my son was sick?  Years of having to walk on eggshells, being told how the person who only took one day off when their spouse had a leg amputated was a hell of an employee and so dedicated, like employees aren't even real people and how dare we put put families ahead of their whims.  

Due to my own oddly workaholic nature at times I've given so much of my own time - unpaid - over the years that I couldn't begin to calculate it.  I cared about doing a good job and going above and beyond.  When I gave notice one boss said that when I'm on my game there is no one better.  They wanted me to get over my burn out and stay...but the thing is I got over my burn out the second I gave notice.  I was energized again in giving a clean transition and moving  forward ...if I'd stayed in the environment I'd have remained broken and who know how long until I wouldn't have been able to bounce back?  I joked about having been in an abusive relationship with my emolyer and finally found the strength to leave...(not to anyone there) and you know...it does feel like that.  Treated me like a worthless piece of shit much of the time, but angry that I dared leave.  My perspective.  And when I was presented with crazy ass complaints about not smiling enough or pretending not to fix stuff on purpose because I don't like them (yeah, because prolonging the tech support super fun for me) I woudl refute it.  The response was always "that's my perspective and it's your job to manage people's perspective of you."

Well, this is my perspective - as hard as last week was and it was...at least I didn't have to worry about losing my job as I would have if I'd still been working there.  

Guess I purged that abscess.


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Just in case you had even one lingering doubt about leaving that job, they made sure to show you why you made the right choice. I can't come up with an appropriate insult for them. I should see if my dh still has a book of insults from Shakespeare...

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Buffy, I'm sorry that your old bosses are such self-centered jerks. :pb_sad:

How is your son feeling today? 

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They were assholes that don't deserve the awesome that is Buffy. <3

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DH kindly dug out Shakespeare:  The Bard's Guide to Abuses and Affronts. It has a few quotes that might suit this situation. (All addressed to Buffy's former employers, of course.)

"In civility thou seemst so empty." (As You Like It)

"You are not worth the dust which the rude wind blows in your face." (King Lear)

"One whose hard heart is buttoned up with steel...pitiless and rough..." (Comedy of Errors)

Simple version: 

38 minutes ago, Destiny said:

They were assholes that don't deserve the awesome that is Buffy. <3

I agree!

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  • Posts

    • 14 hours ago, Bad Wolf said:

      I wonder what's going through Josh's head. Does he understand what he's done? Does he realize the impact it's having on his family? Does he equate the children he saw in the videos with his own children, or does he think it's a victimless crime because HE didn't actually molest them? Is he grateful for the Rebers for giving him a place to stay and to his wife for bringing the children to see him? Does he know that he's privileged to not be in jail?

      Or is he just pissed that he got caught. I'm guessing that.

      I can't speak for Josh of course but had the misfortune of being with someone who got arrested for child pornography. He and his family looked for every excuse in the world: he hadn't physically touched a child; he had a 'problem' and need our support not condemnation. He even said it was his 'other persona who took over at night' . 

      I also worked with men who have been charged with child sex crimes in my previous job and they all gave me the same excuses as my ex. I'm yet to find one who expresses shame, remorse and a wish to change. Not saying that they don't exist but I haven't met anyone. 

      • Sad 1
    • Idlewild


      Jinger and Jeremy are taking another trip- moody looking Jeremy is posing in, you guessed it, a coffee shop! 

    • Idlewild


      I think attributing Josh’s behaviour to not being alone with girls feeds the Duggar narrative of him being a ‘sexually curious’ teen. Although these crimes are badged sexual offences, what they are really about is violence, control and degradation. The brand of patriarchal BS this family promotes has given Josh a sense of entitlement about fulfilling his violent fantasies.

      There are plenty of men with conservative upbringings who do not seek to abuse women or children.

      • Thank You 1
    • Nothing if not critical


      1 hour ago, ophelia said:

      Our parents are meeting for the first time in a few weeks and only thinking of it makes me want to scream and run away.

      Ugh. I feel your pain. The last time our two mothers met (at a big birthday bash), they just kept bitching at one another until nobody else could bear it anymore. They managed to have different opinions about EVERYTHING. 

      We ended up having to physically separate them. I took my mom to one room, while my SIL stayed in the other with my MIL. Fun times...

    • RosyDaisy


      On 6/20/2021 at 9:59 PM, feministxtian said:

      I think he's a sick and twisted human being. He'd be that way as a fundie or a secular person.

      This!  I also think being raised fundie and not allowed to be alone with girls may have kept the number of victims Josh molested low.  Well, at least before he was married and had more freedom.

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