We are back with the whiniest bunch this side of Nowhere. Oh joy.
Previously on: Adam's been acting, Hannah and the girls have their Weekend of Outrage. That's about it.
Hannah is in a fancy restaurant, apparently about to interview Patti LuPone, though she's quite distressed when the server doesn't know who that is. Meanwhile, Adam calls her while waiting for a callback. He feels awkward, as usual, and needs some reassurance. He gets it. For all of Hannah's flaws, she can be a good girlfriend. Sometimes.
Jessa continues to work at the boutique, where she looks bored and out of place, and attempts to strike up ridiculously long conversations with everyone. Hannah continues to wait for her interview, but Patti's stood her up. Too bad - would have been a nice cameo.
Adam gets called back in after his initial audition, where he's informed that he got the part. He's Â overjoyed, and immediately runs to the bathroom to scream with paper towels in his mouth. As he leaves, he befriends a guy who's also been cast. He winds up riding tandem on the dude's motorbike.
Meanwhile, the unmistakable Patti LuPone is recording an album, where Hannah comes in and lambastes her for daring to have a life outside of Hannah. She is granted five minutes, miraculously. It gets off to an awkward start where a) LuPone is not aware of what she's advertising and she's willing to make up having osteoporosis in order to let it run. This makes me question everything about celebrities ever. LuPone kills it. Midway through the interview, Hannah is interrupted by Adam's news. When Patti hears that Adam will be in his first Broadway play, she's a bit skeptical. She advises Hannah to support him through everything - even when he behaves like an asshole.
Out to get frozen yogurt, Marnie runs into an old college classmate, Soo-Jin, who has the most annoying voice I've ever heard, plus a trust fund and a soon-to-be-opened gallery. I feel like strangling her for the voice alone. Marnie asks about jobs, but gets nothing. She gives her a good-natured hug anyway.
"In some ways he's the most mature person I've ever met, but in others - he has not been born." Hannah gives the most succinct description of Adam I've ever heard. LuPone tells Hannah all the ways that Adam is going to be horrible to her. She doesn't believe it. Back at the office, her editor assigns her a piece reviewing a fancy hotel, and gives her permission to bring Adam. This drives all of Hannah's neuroses over the edge. "Patti LuPone really fucked with my head," she sighs. However, she is quickly distracted by her enormous paycheque.
In celebration, she goes on an enormous shopping spree. There goes the paycheque. Meanwhile, Jessa sits around bored in her store, playing air guitar with mannequins and doing yoga in the display window. However, her boredom is soon ended by a visit from her British rehab buddy, Jasper, played by Richard E. Grant. He keeps calling her Jasmine and scoffing at her idea that she's actually doing better. I have to admit, I could imagine Jessa evolving into this.
She insists she's healthy, he insists that she "can't be tamed" and shouldn't dare to live any sort of non-drugged-up life. High as a kite, he asks her to run away with him. She blames their friendship on "rehab goggles" and tells him to take a hike.
At the Gramercy, Hannah has recruited Elijah and Shoshana to help her plan Adam's celebration. She's incredibly defensive about his success, which prompts Elijah to tell her to stop being weird. To be fair, everyone seems to think he'll up and leave her the second he hits the rehearsal room.
Marnie comes home and bitches to Ray about her day. Ray still orders physical Netflix DVDs? Of course he does. They're making some sort of weird attempt at being a couple, and it's ridiculous. Ray sees it for the bullshit it is, but Marnie wants to keep going, though she continues to claim that she doesn'tÂ really like him.
Adam usually hates parties, but he's touched by his friends' little celebration. He's also brought his friend, who apparently was onÂ One Tree HillÂ (I have never seen an episode), and everyone fangirls over him. Marnie shows up looking vaguely psychotic. Hannah goes off to talk to her. When she asks what's wrong, Marnie is evasive. They hug it out while Mr.Â One Tree HillÂ plays the guitar. Marnie starts to sing along. I swear to God Adam Driver stole this scene from theÂ Inside Llewyn DavisÂ cutting room floor. Regardless, it's beautiful, and Hannah begins to cry (and give Adam's friend some black looks). Then Elijah joins in. It's... not as nice.
Elijah then proceeds to give Adam a whole bunch of weak "advice" for his big debut, mostly about ways to hobnob with the elite (and possibly get Elijah some connections too). Eventually, Adam gets sick of his bullshit. Marnie is smitten with the actor (Desi), who has some ideas for her singing career. Jessa and Jasper show up, high, and stay for about five seconds before running out again. Jasper takes Shoshana into the bedroom, where they philosophize about university while Jessa jumps on the bed. He also mistakes Shoshana for being on cocaine. They decide, sans Shoshana, to go get more drugs - and break in to the children's store to get some, to what sounds like theÂ Brokeback MountainÂ soundtrack.
In a shared bath, Hannah bitches about Desi while Adam bitches about Elijah. They promise not to let the play come between them. He recites his lines in an amazing accent while Hannah splashes him.
I really enjoyed this episode. The weird side trip with Patti LuPone, the girls' continuing friendship despite the weird weekend, Jessa's new bender - it all worked really well. The characters all feel true to themselves and relatively human. For better or for worse, I think it's safe to declare this show back on keel.