The Olympics are over, the fifth ring has expanded, and Canadians have stopped being smug about hockey (for now). We're back to our regularly scheduled programming. How about the denouement of Ted's epic tale?

Somewhere in the future, Ted and The Mother are off to a New Year's party. She has apparently published a book and life is just peachy. They consider getting super wasted, but Ted reminds her that he took a vow. The reason for said vow involves Barney, and what he remembers of the first part of his wedding day - a few flashes of bears, stairs, and a lesbian kiss between Robin and Lily (finally). Now it's up to Ted to put it all together.

The bride and best man come back from the beach to find Barney passed out in front of his room. There's ten hours left before the wedding. Opening credits.

They manage to get Barney onto a bed, summoning Marshall and Lily for assistance. There are two hours left before the wedding pictures, and no one will be amused if the groom is falling over. Ted recalls Barney's superpower of being unable to take a bad photo. He demonstrates with his camera - only to witness the first bad photo Barney's ever taken. They decide he must have died, and Marshall vows never to get that drunk again. (Old Ted wryly notes that he didn't keep this promise.) We later see Marshall winning a spot in the State Supreme Court, drunk as a skunk and vowing to "make Batman work harder". Hey, after Rob Ford it's believable.

Ted decides that they need Barney's help. Apparently, he made some kind of magic hangover cure many years ago, which has proven miraculous on several occasions. It was commissioned by FDR as the "too many Manhattans" project, and invented by Brobel Prize-winner Barnard Stinsonheimer. I've got to say, Barney's ancestors get awfully creative at times, though no one can top his Russian family earlier in the season. So this wonderful cure is out there - but the trouble is, the only one who knows the ingredients is passed out on the bed. It involves FunYuns and the infamous Tantrum soda.

Without the secret ingredient, they toss around some ideas, including "Weekend at Barney's", which has been suggested about eight hundred times this season. Lily sets the guys in action to go assemble the magic potion, and she and Robin try to wake Barney up in order to coax out the secret ingredient. Unfortunately, they accidentally throw him down some stairs in the process. This is still not enough to wake him up.

Robin suggests some of her dad's wake-up methods from early childhood, including some dire threats involving an axe and a Cabbage Patch Doll (they go with scissors and Barney's tie). Lily vows never to get that drunk. Another flash-forward, where Lily and Marshall take Marvin to college. Once he's safely in the dorm, they proceed to celebrate - only to have their son walk into the same bar.

In the present, Ted and Marshall come back, short one ingredient - grease. The inn's chef is aghast, pointing out that somewhere as nice as Farhampton doesn't have grease. Ted notices bacon, which means grease must be around, but the chef says they throw it out. Unless all the bacon gets eaten in the next ten minutes, there will be no more greasy food cooked today. Ted sees a challenge, and accepts it in true Bro fashion. However, he has long believed that he's allergic to the stuff - but that was an invention from his mother, obsessed with healthy food. For the first time in his life, he gives bacon a try, and has something of a religious experience.

Lily suggests making out with Robin, though her motives are not exclusively to wake Barney up. Robin vows never to get that drunk. Another flash-forward! Travelling with her husband in Argentina, Robin wakes up half-dead. A baby starts crying, and Robin gets up to attend to her, then remembers that they don't have a baby. Wrong room!

Ted has gotten territorial over the bacon, and soon enough a new batch of grease is necessitated. However, Ted doesn't want to leave his new discovery, which he declares the love of his life. However, he faints from the sheer amount, and thus gives up bacon for life.

Desperate to wake up her husband-to-be, Robin finally suggests that she and Lily make out. Lily reacts like Christmas came early. Just as they lock lips, Barney wakes up with the most terrifying look on his face that you would ever see, and begs for more. In the process, he admits that there is no secret ingredient.

Ted falls over with indigestion while the gang realizes that Barney has created some sort of "placebro" effect. They're angry with him for lying, but then Robin reasons that he was doing it out of love for them. Marshall's hangover cure came when he thought he'd failed the bar, Robin when she was about to go back to a news job, Lily when she was about to take the world's worst field trip, and Ted - when Stella left him at the altar. To each, Barney gave the words, "Drink this. You'll be fine."

However, there's still the wedding pictures...

...and they wind up doing Weekend at Barney's. Robin's dad not only suspects nothing, but is impressed with Barney's new "strong and silent" persona. They even share a high five.

Hours later, a recovered Barney congratulates his friends on the Weekend at Barney's trick. Once he leaves, the gang talk about how it was all a lie - in fact, the photos were cancelled and Robin's dad kicked Barney in the crotch. The groom is none the wiser, however. Inspired, Ted makes the same vow all his friends made. He will never get that drunk again.

Cue New Year's Day 2022. A sober Ted brings Barney's magic hangover drink to The Mother, who can barely open her eyes. Also, why do Marshall and Lily look old in 2020, but Ted and the Mother look exactly the same in 2022 as they did in 2013? I'm missing something. No matter. The Mother accepts the drink, and just in time, because the kids come barrelling in. Happy New Year.

Tag scene: Robin laughs about how she totally almost kissed Lily. She suggests kissing again, in front of Ted and Marshall, just to "blow their minds". However, Lily tells her that once was enough. It's Robin's turn to look like a wounded puppy.

Well, after the break I'm glad to be back, and this episode was just fine. Lots of fun gags, a story that went nowhere as usual, and a lot of good old messing around with the gang. As the show winds down, it's nice to take a bit of a breather and just see the five friends at work. Four more episodes left. Can you believe it?

FJ Discussion Thread