Probably I'm going to come off as whiny.  Not sure I really care.  Okay, I care but, well, I want to babble about this for a bit.

Yesterday, in the mail, I received greetings from the US Department of Education regarding a student loan.  I have paid my student loans off, thank you very much.   And when I ripped open the envelope I find that it is not mine.  Oh, wait, yes, it was indeed addressed to me.  But it was not about my loans.  Oh no.  this was about my sister's loan.  And did I know where she was?  

I can't help them.  Not out of loyalty to her.  I can't help them because I have little clue where she is.  I'd love to know.  Although at times (like, last night) it might be best if I don't.  It has been 2 years since I've seen my sister on social media.  It has been longer since email or phone contact.  Or, personal visit.  We are close when we are together.  Each makes the other crazy.  But her drop off the map is more than annoying.  Because, Mom.  

December 2013 had mom sending me stuff that belonged to my sister for Christmas because mail came back and mom, confused with what we now know is dementia, sent them to me.  June 2014 I tried to get in contact with her.  Because, Mom.  Diagnosis.  Drive offs.  Nothing.  Well, except for one 'stand down, I'm alive' post.  

In the middle of multiple 2.5 hour one way trips to take care of mom doctor visits, MRI and other fun stuff I get a call.  from a storage company.  Not my stuff.  No.  My sister.  Who listed me as 'emergency contact' without telling me.  Yes, so she can vanish and list me as a reference or an emergency contact but cannot be bothered to tell me where she is.   Now because the storage company had my address (because I was fool enough to try to help my sister out) they then begin sending me her monthly you haven't paid your bill here's the additional service charge for that notice.  

Sadly, this is not my first encounter with my sister and bill collectors.  8 or so years ago I had a credit card company calling me looking for her.  I got sneaky on that one because Mom was worried because my sister wasn't answering her phone or something so I traded information with the credit card folks, gave their information to Mom who then talked to my sister.  

It's not just me she's avoiding.  I've talked to people she's known since high school who ask where she is.  And extended family.  Mom is probably the only one who (at least on the surface) doesn't miss her.

And this behavior is really difficult for me to forgive and let go of.  Because just when I think I'm there something else pops up that involves her irresponsibly, hard luck, tragedy or whatever is going on into my life.