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Looking For a Clue

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She's Shuffling


clueliss

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The social worker at Mom's facility called this week.  She always starts conversations by stating, before who is calling, that everything is fine.  Personally, if everything were fine I wouldn't being getting a call.  And, Mom wouldn't be in a facility.  But, okay, I translate this to she's not dead and she's not hurt.  

They concerned because she's shuffling.  Ummm, okay but she was doing that before I brought her to you and she's been there since June of last year and you're just getting around to this?  And the nurse on her unit had called a month ago about it and thought it was her shoes.  (oh they're too big... uhuh - because she has a bunions and have YOU gone shopping with an 82 year old woman with dementia to buy anything?  Because a trip to the local, small grocery store was bad enough).  So I bought new shoes but Mom wouldn't wear them (which, quite frankly, amused me).  And they found her different shoes that someone donated and all is right.  But apparently (SHOCK!  - but not from me) that has not stopped the shuffling.  Which I noticed that last weekend in January when I stopped by.  Yup, new shoes.  Yup, still shuffling.  So this call is not really a surprise.  

I gave permission (yes, they need my consent, I am court appointed guardian and conservator.  Meaning I am in charge.  And I've let it be known in the past that I do notice things and have asked a few questions - such as 'is there a reason my mom's partial plate (lower teeth in front) isn't in?  (that one annoyed me because Mom mentioned it in her own odd way and if she noticed it in her current state then it is something that really bothers her and hello) - where was I?  Oh yes, permission.  I gave permission for physical therapy to work with her.  

And as long as social worker was on the phone the subject of paying for this came up (medicare/insurance) which led to medicaid.  I did drop the sentence (or something like it) 'you all recommended filing for medicaid early, however the state of Kansas won't deal with you until you have under two k of assets.'  An apology sort of followed.  Don't think I haven't forgotten SHE was the person who recommended filing.  Because I haven't.  I did find out that they have moved all of the medicaid stuff in the state to Topeka and got another phone number for whatever agency it is now under (because hey, changing things around is SUCH a good idea).  Medicaid is on my March to do list.  I'll deal with it after I pay the bills at the end of February to keep Mom in the facility for another month and wipe out the remaining assets, get her under the magic number.  A thought that sort of exhausts me mentally.  

 

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MarblesMom

Posted

This is not an easy situation.... been there and sigh... no words.  Stay on the staff to maintain her dignity, her wishes and her well - being. 

I cannot tell you how many times I had to flip The BitchSwitch on to get things done... like put in her hearing aids, do not put Prep H on her heyhey because she has a rash (?! wth, seriously).

I hope she is well cared for in a good facility.

I totally get the frustration over the Medicaid thing, too...

Hugs to you.... go take a hot shower and have a glass of something to calm you.

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violynn

Posted

I cannot tell you how important having family involved is to ensuring your loved one is well cared for in a facility.  The staff do everything they possibly can to do right by their patients, but with only so many hours in a day, far too large a patient-to-staff ratio, the lucid patients get far more attention than those who can't speak up for themselves.  It is so important they have someone to speak for them, and heart-breaking when they don't.  Bless you for being there for your Mom.

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