Sharper Than A Dragon’s Tooth

In honor, I suppose, of upcoming Mother’s Day, this week’s episode explores intricate, complicated mother-daughter relationships as only Once…. can.

In the Enchanted Forest (EF) past, Queen Regina and her father come upon a wedding taking place on palace grounds. As always, Regina looks fierce in her Evil Queen regalia, but since it’s the anniversary of Daniel’s death, Regina is not amused. When Regina is not amused, things do not go well, particularly—in this case—for the groom. (And for her father who has to walk home.)

Ooh, Cora’s back!! (Not Rose McGowan Cora, Barbara Hershey Cora)

In New York City present, Regina and Robin brood over scotch. Regina is mad that Robin had sex with someone he believed to be his wife. And finally, FINALLY Robin shows concern for his son—because having a dead mother, an ex-dead mother, and then a mother who’s not really your mother can have an effect on a kid. Regina waves away Robin’s worries by mentioning a forgetting potion.

With the Roland situation conveniently handled (and where is that kid, by the way?), Robin inquires about the possibility of he and Regina getting back together. Regina tells him he is now tied to Zelena forevah!! (Has she had a pregnancy test? I want proof.)

In the Hood apartment, Zelena feels the baby kick. That is NOT proof enough for me, missy. Also, she is not sorry that she killed Neil. (I’m not either, Zel.) And the gang heads back to Storybrooke.

In Storybrooke, the Author discovers bagels. Hook barges in to taunt Gold about his inability to hurt anyone (‘cause of the black heart and all) and about Emma not going to the dark side. And we get a little more of the Gold’s plan. The ink for the book has to contain dark Emma’s blood. Well, that’s highly unsanitary.

The New York contingent returns to Storybrooke to a warm welcome from the Charmings, Hook, and Henry. Emma’s a little stand-offish to her parents, which upsets them. Maleficent (Mal) and Lily meet for the first time.

In the EF past, Cora apologizes to Regina for killing Daniel (and seems just about as sorry as Zelena was for killing Neil). Cora vows to help Regina find her true love, Robin Hood.

In Storybrooke, Regina has de-magicked Zelena and locked her in the One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest ward (where that nurse is still at reception and that tall guy is still mopping.) Zelena is unafraid of Regina’s wrath because, as she tells Madam Mayor, Regina wouldn’t want Robin to know that Regina killed the mother of his child. I don’t know what game Zelena has been watching, but Regina DID kill the mother of Robin’s child. And Robin seems fine with that.

At Gold’s shop, Gold removes his cold, black heart. Why doesn’t he just leave it out? I bet that would make him feel a little better. But no, he shoves it back in when Regina enters. Regina takes advantage of his weakness and grabs the quill.

In the EF past, Cora goes bar hopping. She’s looking for Robin Hood but instead finds the Sheriff of Nottingham.

In Storybrooke at the Mills mausoleum, the Author and Regina discuss negatively charged ink. (WTF with this storyline?) The Author gives my Favorite Speech of the Episode:

To Regina: “You’ve always been a favorite of mine: very clear goals plus totally damaged personality with a self-destructive streak? A recipe for compelling. Out of all the characters I’ve written for, you really do get screwed over the most.†Hee.

The Author, it turns out, has done some “experimental writing†which resulted in the image of Robin and Regina kissing. And, because he is an opportunist if there ever was one, he agrees to write Regina’s happy ending once they get their evil-infused ink.

At Granny’s, Mal gushes over Lily but refuses to waste time getting revenge on the Charmings. Lily is NOT on board with this plan. She makes some unkind comments about her mother’s sense of style and leaves to find a way out of town.

At Mary Margaret’s (MM) loft, Mal pleads with MM and David to get Lily to stay in town.

In the EF past, Cora poufs up a Cinderella dress for Regina and arranges a meeting with “Robin Hood†who is the Sheriff of Nottingham in disguise. It does not go well. (Although it goes better than it did for that groom in the first scene.) The Sheriff tells Regina that Cora wants Regina to have a child.

At the Storybrooke bus stop, Regina sits down next to Lily and tries to discuss Lily’s “receptacle-for-Emma’s-evil†situation reasonably. Failing that, she slices Lily’s hand to get some evil blood for the ink. I think Lily’s gonna need some stitches. Or maybe it’s her eyes that need attention first. They go all monster-glowy.

On the Storybrooke waterfront, we finally get a scene with Emma and Hook alone! …And we are disappointed. It’s a “make-up-with-your-parents†preachy scene. Well, I guess that’s sweet of you, Hook, but I was expecting a more “enthusiastic†welcome home.

Meanwhile, the Charmings and Mal hunt for Lily and find her humongous dragonized self. There’s a bit of a battle but really, who thinks three people can conquer a dragon? (And why doesn’t Mal dragonize herself to even things out?) MM gets tossed against a rock and sustains a head injury after which Lily flies off. Why doesn’t she finish the job? I thought she wanted MM and David dead. Here was her chance, but she just leaves? Plot hole, people. Mal runs after her.

Oh, it looks like Hook’s morality lesson of the day is done because here comes Emma to fix her mother’s head and then take Hook’s advice and make up with her parents.

Mal finds dragon Lily who turns back into herself. Mal gives Lily the old Goth rattle that had been intended for her baby self. Lily laments that her mother is not “this scary dragon bitch†and says she’s afraid to have a relationship with Mal because of she’s let everyone down. Mal convinces Lily to hang around Storybrooke for a while.

In the EF past, Regina and Cora argue about faux Robin and the need for Regina to have an heir for her evil dynasty. Regina thinks that’s a dodgy plan (as are all her mother’s plans) in which Regina will birth a baby and then die a “mysterious†death and Cora will act as regent wielding all the power.

Regina seems to feel that the only way to avoid this is to drink a potion which will make her barren. I guess there’s no birth control in the EF? That would explain Robin’s predicament, I guess.

Yes, Cora is evil, but now she gives Regina the best words of wisdom I’ve heard in a long time: “The only one standing in the way of your happiness is you.†She would have made a good guest on Oprah.

In Zelena’s cell, she’s got company! Regina and the Author pay a visit. Regina thinks she’s got the upper hand because she’s got the ink and the Author will simply write Zelena out of the story. But Zelena has the perfect put-down for Regina: “you’re just like our mother!†Ouch. It works. Regina, remembering her mother’s words, decides to leave Zelena alone.

Doofus Robin, who’s apparently been looking “all over the place†for Regina, enters Zelena’s cell. Zelena goes feminist about Regina’s happy ending relying on a man. Regina counters that her happiness isn’t a man it’s “finding her own place in the world†and Robin is just a perk.

The Author, miffed now that no one wants him to write anything, magicks himself back to a partnership with Gold.

Things I noticed this week:

• Now that they’re in the same scene, I see that the actresses who play Mal and Lily look alike. More good casting, show!
  
• The Sheriff of Nottingham actor is channeling Alan Rickman as Severus Snape.
  
• Hook is woefully underused. And where is Will?
  

What have you noticed? Discuss in the forum: http://www.freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=13046&sid=4078d4196e519a1583f09c488785277e&start=80