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Once Upon A Time, November 30, 2014---Fall


jinjy2

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A Statement Piece: Jewelry with a Job

 

After a two-week hiatus, we’re back and the Spell of Shattered Sight is fixin’ to make the townsfolk irritable! Will Henry finally tell his dysfunctional extended family to go f%&k themselves? Will Marion arise from her frozen coma and mount an insurrection against the Merry Men and their boss? Will anyone notice if Emma gets bitchier? Let’s find out!

In the Storybrooke forest, the Snow Queen (SQ) relishes her handiwork as she watches the curse cloud rise. Gold joins her. He begins with flattery but we all know he wants something. In this case, what he wants is to leave town with Belle and Henry. The SQ agrees because she’s no fool and also Gold has threatened to rip her heart out.

Meanwhile, over at the clock tower, the usual suspects in our hero brigade watch the magical mist spread. Regina tells them the spell will hit some time around sundown. The team tries to puzzle out a solution. First, David tries to scale the ice wall so they can all escape, but that’s an epic fail because, you know, MAGIC. (And won’t they lose their memories if they cross the town line? I can’t keep up.) Still, someone must be watching over our fearless warriors because at that very moment, the ice cracks to reveal Ana’s snowflake necklace.

Elsa takes this as a sign. Emma has no time for signs and jumps into action, bossing everyone around. She tells them all to take shelter away from their loved ones so they don’t kill each other. (After an “interesting†family Thanksgiving, I know I—for one—totally understand the thought process behind Emma’s plan.) Regina, of course, can’t wait to warn Robin Hood. And she wants to take Henry with her. Elsa thinks he’d be safer with Emma, thanks to her yellow-ribbon-of-curse-immunity. Regina wins this round and leaves with Henry.

At Gold’s shop, Emma, Elsa, and Belle figure out that, much like smallpox, the Spell of Shattered Sight can be cured using tissue (okay, a strand of hair) from someone who’s already been infected. They need to find Ana, and pronto! Good thing they’ve got the snowflake necklace back! In a turn of events that’s not a coincidence at all; they now have something of Ana’s that they can use to track her down. Sounds like a plan! In the meantime, Belle sets the fairies up with a homemade meth anti-curse lab to begin formulating an antidote.

In Arendelle past, Ana and Kristoff magically defrost. Ana finds a golden piece of straw which leads her to believe that Rumple was there and he’s got the urn with Elsa in it. This leads me to believe that Rumple is losing his touch as an evil manipulator. Come on, Rumple! That’s a rookie mistake. Never leave incriminating evidence at a crime scene.

In the midst of their conversation (which isn’t nearly as much fun as Kristoff and Elsa’s flirty banter) unfrozen Hans walks in with his horde of hotties. (Except for that one guy. Who is that?) And why does Hans think he can just take over the kingdom? Isn’t Ana next in line? Kristoff gets down to business, feigning surrender, fighting off the hotties with Ana, then escaping.

In present-day Storybrooke, Hook watches the ice wall rise in the harbor. If the ocean ice wall is just forming now, why didn’t everyone leave by boat before this latest curse, when the SQ was just threatening? Siiiigh. Ok, let’s just go with it because Gold is here. If you recall, Gold is now the boss of Hook (‘cause he yanked out Hook’s heart.) Now he orders Hook to go suck the meth-making fairies into the evil, expensive magic hat of doom. The advantages for Gold are twofold. He’ll stop the fairies from undoing the curse and he’ll have enough power trapped in the hat to free himself from the dagger.

In the Storybrooke woods, weepy Regina interrupts Robin giving Roland an arrow lesson (not an archery lesson, a vocabulary test about arrows). She tells the Merry Men it’s time to scatter. I’m left wondering what is going to become of Roland. Is he old enough to be left alone? He can’t be left with anyone, because he’ll end up being killed. But Robin doesn’t care about that (or about Marion!!) because he’s snogging Regina. Barf.

In town, Elsa and Emma follow the glowing snowflake necklace toward Ana. I can only assume that production has used up its special effect budget because the necklace isn’t floating toward its owner the way objects under this spell are supposed to. (Remember Eric’s cape?)

In Arendelle past, Ana and Kristoff are winded as they make their way through the woods. Ana monologues about her parents tracking a “wishing star†to Blackbeard the pirate, but never finding it. And here comes my

Favorite line of the episode: Ana to Kristoff. “You and I are rich in many things, but the thing we’re richest in is riches. Let’s go buy ourselves a wishy thing.â€

They’re going to use the wishing star to save Elsa.

In Storybrooke present, Elsa and Emma search the tunnels under the library for Ana, but come to a dead end.

In the past, Kristoff and Ana’s boat from Arendelle to the Enchanted Forest conveniently leaves them off on the dock right in front of Blackbeard’s ship, which they board without a second thought. (I’m going to stop snarking about the characters’ lack of a self-preservation instinct because a lack of sensible fear does seem to be a fairytale cliché, but still, when bringing fairytale characters to live action drama, I think it helps if they’re not dumb as dirt.)

Blackbeard’s not dumb as dirt, though as he welcomes these two aboard his ship. Ana and Kristoff don’t notice the “watch-me-take-these-suckers-for-everything-they’re-worth†look that Blackbeard shoots a crew member. They do notice when Hans appears. When he’s not frozen, Hans is really hard to get rid of.

In Storybrooke, Grumpy says the dwarves can dig out the closed-off tunnel. MM and Regina fight about mayoring strategies. Regina and Grumpy fight about little people terminology. See? These people don’t need no stinking curse to bring on the hostility. David interrupts the quarrel to tell everyone that the meth fairies might be able to counteract the curse using the shards of glass that were in the snowflake necklace, but it will destroy the necklace. Emma exposits that they can either save everyone in town and sacrifice Ana or vice versa. Thanks for that, Emma!

Gold and Hook head over to Granny’s. Gee, the meth sisters/fairies look busy, what with the scurrying around the lab equipment and all. Belle won’t leave with Gold, so Gold says he’ll stay. The fairies are NOT happy about that. And Hook’s hiding in the back.

Back at the library, after much debate the hero brigade decides to sacrifice Ana for the sake of the town. However, they’ve underestimated Elsa who pretends to give up the necklace, but instead takes it with her. When the hero brigade discovers to their shock, horror, and surprise (but not ours) that they’ve been duped, it’s too late. There’s no time to make the anti-curse potion.

Since finding Ana is now the only hope of disarming the curse, Emma follows Elsa to the tunnels. Elsa uses her ice magic to blast through the tunnels, which lands them on the beach. Why couldn’t she do this the FIRST time they were in the tunnel? Elsa is confused too. The necklace is still glowing, but where is Ana? Emma tells Elsa that Ana’s been missing a very long time and is probably dead (in a much more sensitive way).

On Blackbeard’s ship, Ana and Kristoff are taken prisoner and Blackbeard reveals that he’s met Ana’s parents and gave them the wishing star. Ana offers to pay top dollar for another one. Hans tells her that since he’s taken over the kingdom, Ana is now broke but where she’s going she “won’t need money.†When Ana asks where that is, Hans says “death.†Kristoff points out the grammatical and geographic inaccuracies of that statement, which only incites Hans’ horde of hotties to draw their swords.

The pirates put Kristoff and Ana in a trunk (the better to avoid mermaid aid) and throw them overboard, but not before Hans informs them that they were all frozen for 30 years. How he knows this, I don’t know. But I’m going to stop asking questions. (Also, why does he control the Jolly Roger? Is he the bad King that Hook was talking about in Good Form?)

On the Storybrooke beach, the necklace stops glowing and Elsa loses hope. On the ocean floor, an air pocket in the trunk buys Ana and Kristoff a little time to attempt escape. Ana wastes the oxygen by screaming for help. On the Storybrooke beach, the curse is fast approaching. On the ocean floor, Kristoff gets himself and Ana free of the ropes that bind them. Oh, the tension!! Oh the drama! On the beach, Elsa FINALLY wishes for Ana and up pops the trunk through a portal with a force so strong it knocks Emma and Elsa over and revealing Elsa’s shoes, which I don’t much care for. (Flats may be practical on the beach, but if you insist on wearing that blue dress, honey, you need fancier shoes, mmmmkay???)

The reunion between the two sisters is giddy. And I have to take back calling Ana dumber than dirt because she realizes that the necklace is the wishing star, even though Emma barely whispered that Elsa had made a wish on it.

They talk about heading back to the fairies to use the necklace for the curse antidote. Am I missing something? Why don’t they try wishing on the necklace that the curse be broken???????

At Granny’s, Gold convinces Belle to leave the fairies to their work. Blue concentrates very hard on pouring liquid from one container to another. Then Hook come in and sucks all the fairies into the evil expensive hat of doom.

Elsa, Emma, Kristoff and Ana enter Granny’s one second too late and blame the SQ for the missing fairies. Now there’s no way to stop the curse. (JUST TRY WISHING ON THE NECKLACE!!!! PLEASE?????) Nope, it doesn’t occur to them. Behind the counter sits a regretful, moist-eyed Hook.

Gold gets Belle to safety in his shop. Hook brings Gold the magic hat box and points out that Belle loves Gold. Why doesn’t Gold choose love instead of power? Gold replies that he’ll have both, thanks.

At the Storybrooke jail, Kristoff and David are happy to see each other, but there’s no time for a reunion. The curse is almost upon them. Emma wants to know what the plan is. David and MM have decided to lock themselves in jail so they don’t hurt each other while Emma and the other immunes try to fix everything. Once again, it all falls on Emma. Oh, and she’s also going to be babysitting for her little brother. No pressure, Emma. How’s your breastfeeding, by the way?

Hook comes in to say goodbye to Emma. (For him, it’s goodbye forever, since Gold promised to kill him in the morning.) Emma notices something weird about the kiss, but has no time to ponder it.

Regina seals Henry into the mayor’s office for the duration of the curse. (He’s going to be bored, no? And hungry.) Robin is outside the office and we get our answer to the Roland question: he’s locked away with Marion. So the kid’s locked away from everyone except his frozen, ex-dead, undead mother? Someone book Dr. Hopper in advance.

Robin, full of bravado, says he’s not afraid of Regina. Regina, full of good sense, says he really should be. She seals herself in her vault.

At the jail, the Charmings blab about true love, nothing strong enough to break what we have, two parts of the same heart—we’ve heard it all before.

We get a glimpse of the crazy-eyed SQ which gives me chills (no pun intended) as the curse descends. All of the Charmings’ true love rantings are for naught as they now look at each other with suspicion and resentment. (It’s just like Thanksgiving!!!)

Next week, we’ll see the upshot of the spell. How will it affect baby Prince Neal? How will Gold explain to Belle and Henry why he’s kidnapping them? Why don’t Emma and Elsa just make a wish on that damn necklace? If you have questions (or answers), bring them to the forum: http://www.freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=13046&sid=d07a783726c47ad69508d95589753cec&start=60

 

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