• In which monkeys run amok, Regina takes umbrage, and Snow makes a split decision.
  

 We open on a rider on a white horse galloping through the Enchanted Forest (EF) during the lost year. At the Charmings’ castle, Regina’s got a very severe hairdo, but I like it; it lets us know she means business. As opposed to her jewel encrusted collar and lapels, which let us know she’s fabulous.

Anyway, it’s just another day in the EF because Regina’s yelling. This time she’s upset because she thinks it’s stupid for the Charmings to announce their pregnancy when a Wicked Witch is trying to kill them all. Belle –who I assume was the rider in the woods—clops in. (Sweetie, there’s a witch after you. You can be more stealth in rubber-soled shoes.) She tells group, which includes Aurora and Phillip, the story about Neal, Rumple, the Dark One, and their merging. She says Zelena has the dagger and controls Neal/Rumple (Numple? Real? Goldfire? Bold?) But I digress.

This revelation makes Aurora—who looks awfully thin and pale—very uneasy. She and Phillip share a guilty look. Aurora tells the Charmings it’s not a good idea to announce the pregnancy because Zelena wants the Charming baby. Zelena made Aurora and Phillip promise not to tell or she’d hurt them.

Zelena must be using that huge crystal ball from the movie because at this very moment she swoops in on her broom and turns both Phillip and Aurora into flying monkeys. Never say Zelena doesn’t follow through on a promise.  Monkey Phillip and monkey Aurora fly out the window. Where are they going? If they stayed, maybe Regina could help. Oh well, we’ll worry about them later because right now Zelena is busy magically freezing everyone in the room. She then creepily puts her hand on Snow’s pregnant belly and declares the baby suitable for her purposes. Ooooh. Chills.

As she hops on her broom and zooms away, everyone unfreezes and we go to the title card.

Eight months later the gang sits around a castle card table. I know they are working around Ginnifer Goodwin’s real pregnancy but she did NOT look merely a few weeks pregnant in that previous scene.  I think they could have done a better job of disguising her belly.

Anyway, the group has been brainstorming ways to defeat Zelena, but have come up empty. Snow is incredulous that she is once again going to have to give birth with an evil sorceress breathing down her neck. Regina takes umbrage because she wasn’t after Snow’s baby, the baby was just collateral damage. Grumpy wants to know why they are letting Regina sit with them instead of, you know, destroying her. Regina insists she’s helping.

They finally decide that since Rumple warned them of the last curse, maybe he can help with this one. It took eight months to come up with this?

Grumpy is skeptical. Snow agrees the plan is stupid, but it’s all they’ve got. Granny has a great little cameo where she rolls her eyes to high heaven. I miss Granny.

The group formulates a plan. Robin Hood is familiar with the castle since he’s been there before. Regina gets cranky with him until he reminds her that he is saving her ass. You go, Robin. They argue, but Snow impatiently cuts them off. She’s a billion months pregnant. She needs to get this done.

Back in present-day Storybrooke, Regina and Robin make out in a hallway. Regina asks what he sees in her. He says “a second chance.†Regina looks legitimately happy for the first time in the history of the show. But I am not. I am a big Robin and Marian fan and I feel like this is being disloyal to the story. Robin says “Marian who?â€

Though I’m mad about the kissing, I’m pleased that Robin and Regina take a moment to explain that, even though Regina doesn’t have her heart, she can still have feelings. They’re not as strong as they would be, but they’re there and….oops, there they go again. These two can’t keep their hands off each other.

They’re caught as Henry walks by. He looks embarrassed by seeing two grownups snogging. Regina gets weepy when Henry calls her Madame Mayor. Nice how the writers gave us an example of those less-than-full-force feelings.  Oh God, they’re making out again!!!!

Regina is basking in the afterglow when she walks into another room where the Charmings and Emma wait. It does not go unnoticed. Mary Margaret (MM) says Regina looks “smitten.†Regina snipes back “if I didn’t know any better I’d say Haagen Dasz was smitten with your stomach.†Not a great comeback, but I’m going to chalk that up to Regina being off kilter from her new love.

The group tries to figure out Zelena’s game. She wants to take Regina’s life, but they can’t understand why she brought them all to Storybrooke or how. To cast that curse, one needs to sacrifice the thing one loves most and Zelena isn’t known for her loving personality. David surmises that perhaps they figured out how to stop her during the missing year so she had to erase their memories. Now they need to break the curse.

At this point, everyone looks at Emma because to break the curse, they need the Savior. Again. Emma points out that she broke the last curse by believing in magic and kissing Henry. Since she’s been back in Storybrooke, she’s done both and nothing happened. Regina realizes they need Henry to believe in order to get everyone’s memories back, and to do that they need the fairy tale story book.

Cut to a Storybrooke roadway in the woods. Zelena waits. Rumple opens the trunk of his car to reveal a bound and gagged Hook. This comes as a surprise to no one because he is the most easily captured pirate. Ever. Zelena is p.o.’d because Hook hasn’t kissed Emma yet to destroy her magic. She cuts to the chase. Kiss Emma or I’ll kill everyone.

Back in the EF during the lost year, the fab five search Rumple’s castle. Robin and Regina bicker like an old married couple, but the group does find Rumple in a cage, spinning, and possessed by Neal. They realize he’s a little disturbed but they ask him for help anyway. He tells them light magic will overcome dark. They need to find Glinda, the good witch of the south who’s been banished, ironically, to a northern land. Rumple singsongs the way only he can as he gives them a mysterious clue about a door which only allows pure hearts through.

Back at Granny’s in present-day Storybrooke, no luck finding the book, which is not surprising since the Savior squadron hasn’t left the couch. MM mentions that the book turned up in her closet during the last curse when Henry needed it. He was going through a hard time and felt like he had no family. Regina takes umbrage again and MM tries to smooth things over.

As they head to MM’s place to search for the book, Henry demands an answer from Emma. Basically, he wants to know WTF is going on. Emma won’t tell him and goes all maternal on him—“I’m your mother and I know best!†In the background, Regina stares daggers at Emma. Yeah, I don’t like it when other people yell at my kids either, but this is a really complicated situation. MM also looks shocked at the outburst.

Henry says, fine he’ll just hang around, but can he have the keys to get into the room? Don’t do it, Emma!!!! You’re supposed to have street smarts!! You’re a bail bondsperson, remember? But nope, she gives Henry the keys. And Henry proceeds straight through Granny’s to Emma’s parked car out back. He’s stopped by Hook who is finally doing something besides getting hit on the head. Hook dissuades Henry from running away and uses his jaunty raised eyebrow to charm Henry.

Back in MM’s apartment, the Savior squadron searches the closet. When David asks why women always keep their shoe boxes, MM gets this week’s best line of the episode.

“After true love there is no more powerful magic than footwear. It has to be protected.â€

Amen, sister.

Emma looks through a box. Then MM checks the same box and, voila, there it is—the book. Mothers have a way of finding things their kids can’t. And MM reacts the way a mother would “Did you really not see it in there?†She wonders what is going on with Emma.

Emma says she’s off her game because she’d forgotten what it was like in lands with Wicked Witches. MM asks if Emma plans to take Henry back to New York after everything is over. She guesses that Emma doesn’t want Henry to get his memories back. Emma talks again about how life in New York was good. MM answers “That’s because you forgot about us.†MM really does the motherly guilt thing very well for someone who’s never actually raised a child.

Back in the EF during the lost year, Charming hands Snow a flower—a snowbell. Very romantic, Charming, but you’ve got a job to do. Regina gets everyone back on task. They find a door in the middle of the forest—a door that leads to nowhere. Snow rushes through it and disappears. Charming follows her and disappears. Regina comes last but, not being pure of heart, she steps through the door and only ends up on the other side of the threshold. Once again she takes umbrage and slams the door.

Having gone through the portal, Snow and Charming find themselves in a snowy land where Glinda appears. Glinda says she was friends with Zelena long ago until Zelena gave in to her dark magic. Glinda isn’t powerful enough to defeat Zelena. But, she says, long ago she gave Zelena a pendant and this is where her magic resides. Remove the pendant, defeat the witch. Of course there’s a catch: only someone with exceptionally strong light magic can do it. Once again, this becomes Emma’s problem.

Snow and Charming’s problem is that Emma is in another realm. Snow knows that the only way to get there is to cast the Dark Curse. And the only way to cast the Dark Curse is to destroy the thing they love most. They bring their plan back to Regina who thinks they are crazy since she’s already destroyed the thing she loves most—her father. And the new thing she loves most is Henry.

Snow, ever optimistic, says there must be another way. Charming asks about magic beans, but apparently they can’t realm-jump anymore because when Regina undid the curse, it put a wall up between worlds. Charming says Snow can cast the curse using the heart of the thing she loves most—charming. That was very noble of him, but Snow protests.

In Storybrooke present, Emma realizes Henry is gone. Regina wants to try a locator spell. Emma’s already taken care of that with a GPS on Henry’s phone. I love when technology trumps magic.

Henry, it turns out, is at the docks, being introduced to Smee by Hook. Henry remembers the name from the Peter Pan movie, which flummoxes Smee. Hook waves it away as a “common name in the seafaring world.†Are there common names in the seafaring world?

Hook tells Henry that Smee will sail him to New York. This comes as a surprise to Smee but he plays along, even pointing out a random boat. Henry guesses Smee is going to steal the boat. Henry asks why Hook is helping him. Before Hook can answer, Smee points out the beast that is flying their way.

Hook finally takes charge of a situation and orders Smee to get Henry to the boathouse just as a winged monkey flies toward them. Henry wants to know what the hell it is. It makes an awful screeching noise.

Inside the boat house, Hook tells Henry to go with Smee while he handles the monkeys. He draws his gun and shoots. (When did Hook get a gun? Just since he shot Belle or has he always had one?) His aim has improved and he picks off a few monkeys. When they get hit, they evaporate in flames. I’m thinking they’re not dead, just whisked off back to Zelena. They can’t be this easy to kill. I think the Wicked Witch has incorporated this as a defense mechanism.

So maybe they can’t be killed this way, but they can be made to go away, which is helpful in and of itself. To up the suspense, Hook runs out of bullets just as a monkey makes its way to Henry. But here comes Emma to save the day with her own gun. Charming uses his sword. Regina uses her fire balls. Snow, being a billion months pregnant, just watches as all the monkeys retreat.

Emma helps Henry up and now she’s got some ‘splainin’ to do. Henry wants to know why he’s being chased by flying monkeys, and why his new friend David carries a sword. Rather than explain, Emma hands Henry the book and tells him to believe in magic, to believe in her.  Henry takes the book and all his memories of Storybrooke come flooding back.

He looks at Emma and says “Mom.†And in one of the most touching moments of the series, he looks at Regina and says “Mom†and they hug. Don’t judge me, I know she’s evil, but she’s also fierce. (And imagine the emoting if she actually had her heart.)

There’s no time for a long family reunion. Regina tells Emma to kiss Henry and break the curse. And just as she’s about to, Zelena magics him away from Emma. (See? More evidence she’s got a crystal ball.) She says she’s going to kill Henry. Regina tries to intervene but is knocked out by Zelena’s magic. Zelena says this is all Hook’s fault for failing her. She squeezes Henry’s neck. Emma closes her eyes and clenches. (My daughter thinks she looks constipated here.) Constipated or no, Emma’s magic works. Zelena disappears in a puff of green smoke. Henry runs to Regina who’s still unconscious.

Flashback to the EF during the lost year: the Charmings and Regina stand next to a boiling cauldron which I guess is the curse recipe minus the heart of the thing you love most. Now Snow is doubting the plan of sacrificing Charming. Charming gives her a pep talk about “our only chance…think of the baby….we’ve shared one heart…..†Snow reaffirms her love for Charming as he does for her. Then it’s time.

Regina tells him it’s going to hurt and it looks like it does. She grabs his heart and hands it to Snow. He gives her another pep talk. Jeez, Charming, you’re breaking everyone’s heart. Just let her get on with it. Snow takes the heart and squeezes it over the cauldron. Charming falls. Even Regina is sad but determined to defeat Zelena, who takes this opportunity to fly in on her broom.

Regina tells Zelena she’s too late. Zelena says she can’t stop the curse, but she can “spice it up†with a forgetting potion. So our heroes will get the Storybrooke, but they won’t remember a thing, including Zelena. She’s gleeful as she tells Snow that she won’t know what happened to Charming, she’ll just look for him endlessly. Regina smirks during this speech and I can’t quite figure out why. I think she just likes conflict and enjoys a challenge, especially against someone she hates with the heat of a thousand suns. She gets that determined look on her face again as Zelena flies away.

Back in Storybrooke present, Henry wakes Regina up. She hugs him and kisses him and VOILA, she breaks the curse. Awww, her love for her son is true. More importantly, everyone has their memories of the lost year back.

Now Snow can explain to Emma that she herself cast the curse with David’s heart. For a moment I wonder if this David is some sort of imposter but then I remember that this show probably wouldn’t kill half of what has to be the cutest real life couple ever.

Like me, Emma wants to know why David is still alive. We flashback to the castle right after David’s death. Snow has an idea. David told her that they shared a heart, so Snow thinks Regina can rip out her heart, split it, and put half in David’s chest and half in Snow’s. Regina doesn’t know if it will work. And I think this is too simple a solution. All this time, Regina and Cora have been ripping out hearts left and right and we’ve never heard so much as a peep about sharing a split heart.

Regina, in an unusual show of patience, explains that ripping out a heart is not like picking a flower. But Snow goes on much like her husband about “faith…belief…..blah, blah, blah.†Those two should become motivational speakers.

There’s no time to deliberate further because the curse is a brewin’. So Regina yanks out Snow’s heart while Snow gets a goofy grin on her face which I will forgive because she’s been through a lot, this is her last hope, and she’s a billion months pregnant.

Regina twists the heart to split it which looks like it would hurt. She shoves the halves back into the respective bodies and we wait a few seconds until Charming triumphantly wakes just before the curse overtakes them.

In the boathouse in present-day Storybrooke, Henry tells Regina all about New York’s awesomeness. He’s so eager to tell and she’s so eager to listen. It’s sweet. Until Henry asks about Regina’s new boyfriend and she tries to change the subject. Henry won’t give up. So Regina reluctantly explains about Robin Hood and how they just started seeing each other. Lo and behold Robin Hood walks in. (Does he have a crystal ball?) Now that the curse is broken, Robin remembers their bickering in the lost year. Regina tells him he’s more likeable in Storybrooke and the threesome walk out of the boathouse arm-in-arm. It’s weird seeing Regina with loved ones she’s not trying to kill.

Now Emma confronts Hook about what Zelena said. (Truthfully, I’d forgotten Hook was even there.) Hook tells Emma about the “kissing your power away†curse. Emma first looks like she thinks that the stupidest thing she’s ever heard. Of course, over the past couple of years she’s heard a lot of stupid things that turned out to be true. I can’t really read the next look on her face, but it seems like she’s considering the ramifications of Zelena knowing that Emma and Hook have the hots for each other.

I guess what she was really doing was calculating Hook’s loyalty. She says she doesn’t trust him. MM and David (where have they been?) say they don’t trust him either because he lied when he said they sent him the message to get Emma and bring her to Storybrooke. He defends himself saying he thought it was them.

So who was it? We flash back to the lost year. Zelena prepares for the curse by making a memory potion so she’ll still have her memories in Storybrooke. Rumple just taunts her telling her she failed, failed, failed, failed. Zelena refrains from slapping him and says she can accomplish her task in any land. She drinks the potion and hands it to Rumple and tells him to do what he wants with it. Whether he drinks it or not, he’ll still be under her control. Rumple decides he needs his memories for vengeance and brings the vial to his lips. But Neal struggles his way out of Rumple, who falls to the ground. Neal quickly writes a note, summons a pigeon, and sends him to Hook. Then he re-merges with Rumple.

In Storybrooke present, Emma and Henry stand at Neal’s grave. Henry asks Emma if it was hard to come back to Storybrooke. Emma says she knew that Henry would have wanted to come back. Henry re-starts Operation Cobra just as Snow goes into labor.

While this episode answered a lot of questions about Zelena’s motivation and the cause of the new curse, I’m still on the fence about the divided heart thing. Will Snow and Charming get short of breath walking upstairs? Will they semi-love their new baby?

Next week, Snow gives birth with the Wicked Witch literally standing over her bed, Dorothy Gale appears, and it looks like Zelena is melting, meltiiiiiing.

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