Jump to content

Buffy's Commentary

  • entries
    275
  • comments
    1,403
  • views
    70,864

Smiling and RBF...


HerNameIsBuffy

5,051 views

I am one of those women always being told to smile.  I have resting bitch face and so even when I'm perfectly content I apparently look somewhat annoyed.  Or focused.  Or stop looking at my face if you don't like it...

This has been going on since I was a child.  I never understood it.  I'd be happily engrossed in a book, playing dolls, or color-forms and someone would tell me to smile because I'm so much prettier when I do.   Absolutely no difference between that and sitting behind a bank of monitors focused on work.  I wondered why I needed to be pretty when I'm busy...and what kind of person would just smile for no reason whilst reading or working?  At myself?  Alone?  Who does that?  

Another thing I don't get is the people who light up with a big grins whenever you greet them.  I'm not Ed McMahon nor do I have a giant check for a million dollars with their name on it, so they might want to ratchet down your excitement at seeing me.  Nothing I bring to the table will elicit that kind of joy.  

But I digress...my point is I'm a person who has been told to smile on at least a weekly basis for my entire life.

a much younger, much prettier version of me...

Spoiler

i-dont-always-smile-but-when-i-do_o_344193.jpg

My struggle...

Spoiler

083a955761705e55f3499b300b8ecc1bf94babb4b067284d1ba6290a21202c8b.jpg

My philosophy...

Spoiler

8365bf9cfaade372a4973dbe6cf0a949.jpg

My answer to people who think they are entitled to a response...

Spoiler

44663563.jpg

But today a co-worker commented that every time I reference this being my last week ....I smile.  A lot.  I'm super smiley apparently and was completely unaware of it.

So this is me now?

Spoiler

Funny-Smile-Meme-I-Just-Like-To-Smillings-my-Favorite-Picture.jpg

It's amusing the people I like and annoying some others...hard not to smile at that.

  • Upvote 18

11 Comments


Recommended Comments

clueliss

Posted

I get told to smile a lot.  I don't want to smile.  Maybe I'm just not that amused by you.  And I feel like a dork running around with a smile plastered on my face just to appease everyone.  And I agree in the smiling gives you wrinkles meme.  

  • Upvote 6
Link to comment
HarryPotterFan

Posted

I have resting, "I am miserable face." It's like sorry if I'm just you know, sitting around existing, and I'm not happy looking. I dunno. There have been so many times when I've looked miserable when I'm not. Or I  just totally unenthused when im actually enjoying myself.

  • Upvote 5
Link to comment
ClaraOswin

Posted

I am the same as HarryPotterFan.  When I first met my husband's friends years ago...I was told I was "stand offish" or something like that because I was just listening to everyone talk and not smiling enough. I had nothing to contribute to the conversation and I don't do well in large groups. And I don't just sit around with a smile plastered on my face. Oh well.

I always think of Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm. 

Spoiler

 

 

  • Upvote 4
Link to comment
Maggie Mae

Posted

I DO look better when I smile. But I also lived through years, probably 6 though, oh,  college, where fellow students felt it was their business to complain when I smiled, complained and/or mocked when I didn't. In general, who gives a s*** about what other people think about your face? Do what you want. RBF it up if that's cool. 

Quote

 

 

  • Upvote 6
Link to comment
Grimalkin

Posted

I get asked "what's wrong?" A lot. I used to wish I could be more bubbly and outgoing. After a while SOME of the people I admired for being bubbly and outgoing start to get annoying and really seem self absorbed. 

Small doses.

  • Upvote 3
Link to comment
WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

Posted

It doesn't happen very often, but every so often I've been happy enough that I keep smiling. It's almost like I'm so full of happiness that it leaks out of me. I'm glad you're having that! :my_biggrin:

  • Upvote 3
Link to comment
PreciousPantsofDoom

Posted

So, my 87 year old Uncle   keeps asking me why so many of the other old gimmers in his care home always look so sour. He generally says this at the top of his voice (sometimes pointing at the offending person. )   I usually gently remind him that some of them are not smiling because they might not be feeling too well etc., but last week I got bored of having that same conversation and explained the concept of resting bitch face to him. He quite liked the idea that the scowling people were not really scowling at him, just that their faces had settled into an unfortunate expression (and I didn't tell him that he himself often has RBF. )  

Of course, he does have dementia, so by yesterday he was back to loudly wondering why that woman over there looks so unpleasant...

  • Upvote 6
Link to comment
usedtobenice

Posted (edited)

I'm envious of those with RBF. I have a tell me your life story face. When I'm at the neighborhood bar by myself, I have met so many people who just want to share way too much. It's like our local Cheers. Most of us are in the service industry and are good friends, but there are a few non regulars who come in and make a beeline for me. So yeah, wish I had resting bitch face lol

Edited by usedtobenice
  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Jellybean

Posted

@usedtobenice you took the words right out of my mouth!

Having pretty much the opposite of RBF, I promise it isn't always the panacea some people seem to expect. I'm a pretty hardened introvert, definitely not helped by years of being either mostly bed bound or housebound. Internally, I'm decked out with bunting and banners telling people to go away; externally, my face sends the exact opposite message. 

This face, coupled with an inability to make eye contact with people without smiling, and an inability to smile without using my entire face, means I get a lot of life stories. I also get a lot of people (mostly in hospitals) who think it's appropriate to tell me how happy they are to have met me because it really puts all their own problems into perspective. They sure do feel lucky in comparison. Sigh. 

Having anti-RBF means that I can't rely on my face as a deterrent. Hints rarely work because my face undermines them. So I have to be really quite rude, which goes against every fibre of my Britishness, and always makes me feel really unkind. People always look so shocked. As though they've been viciously attacked by a Labrador puppy.

My brother has Classic RBF, which never seems to cause any problems for him. I wonder if it's more of an issue for women because were generally still expected to be softer and kinder, and to care about other people finding us attractive. 

Take heart, @HerNameIsBuffy. Your face saves you from many oversharing incidents - what a useful face! 

  • Upvote 3
Link to comment
choralcrusader8613

Posted

On 9/23/2016 at 4:16 AM, usedtobenice said:

I'm envious of those with RBF. I have a tell me your life story face. When I'm at the neighborhood bar by myself, I have met so many people who just want to share way too much. It's like our local Cheers. Most of us are in the service industry and are good friends, but there are a few non regulars who come in and make a beeline for me. So yeah, wish I had resting bitch face lol

One of my friends has said I have "Resting-I'm-Going-To-Kill-You-Face". Somehow, that doesn't keep people telling me that they're having the worst week, etc. I'm going into a therapy profession, but I don't do that stuff off the clock :lol:

  • Upvote 5
Link to comment
Playagirl

Posted

I have Resting Sad Face. No matter what my mood is, unless I'm actually smiling I look like I'm about to cry. One of my siblings tells me it's cuz I have hooded eyelids, or as she likes to call them, super-sad puppy-dog eyes.  So I'm always being asked if I'm OK and of course not being believed when I say I'm fine. Getting older and having the corners of my mouth starting to droop is not helping matters at all. I sometimes try walking around with a smile plastered on my face to avoid the inevitable 'what's wrong?' but then I look like some sort of whack-job and people look at me strangely.  Can't win.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Posts

    • Red Hair, Black Dress

      Posted (edited)

      I think she unenthusiastically said yes to the first man Scotty Brown (not/never father of the year) convinced/ coerced to take her and the 6 step kids.

      Hope she is happy, but intuition tells me no, and that she believes the unhappiness is normal married life.

      Really really really hope she wasn't "convicted" to have more children.

      Edited by Red Hair, Black Dress
    • JermajestyDuggar

      Posted

      20 hours ago, zimona said:

      Childless semi-old catlady here. I don't hate kids. I hate parents who don't bother to teach their kids (age apropriate, of course) about boundaries. I'm quite happy to let kids be kids. But if they start to actively pester me and intrude on me (like trying to drink from MY lemonade in a Café, or wiping their chocolate covered fingers on my backpack during train rides...) then I will speak up and tell them to stop, and I'm fully aware that to the innocent bystander I might come across as 'hating' kids, especially since I might be a bit worked up at that point. I'm not blaming the kids, they don't know better. I'm blaming those parents who shy away from putting a brake on their kids' (sometimes) too exuberant behaviour. 

      What’s funny is I often say this about dogs! 🤣🤣🤣 Every time I find myself hating a dog, I realize I just hate how horrible the owner is. It’s always someone who lets their dog get away with the most horrific behavior at the expense of other people. 

      • Upvote 4
      • I Agree 1
    • 4boysmum

      Posted

      I have a bunch of kids and as much as I love them they also drive me nuts.  They can be loud and messy.  The younger ones are still figuring out where their personal space ends and other people's (mostly mine!) begins.  But I can't ever imagine them doing something like drinking someone else's lemonade.  And if they ever took leave of their senses long enough to try, I would deal with it ASAP and also buy you another lemonade.

      My kids are my responsibility and if they act up in public it's my job to correct them or take them somewhere else so they aren't disturbing others.  

      But I have also occasionally come across people who do seem to resent children being present in public at all.  Don't think they should be brought to restaurants, etc.  I couldn't say what percentage of the childfree population feels that way, but people like that do exist.  And I think it's a shame because (a) how do you teach kids to behave in places like restaurants if you don't take them to practice, and (b) if I've put in the work to teach my kids how to behave in various places and they are not being disruptive, they really do have just as much right to be there as any other segment of the population.

      • Upvote 1
      • I Agree 2
    • CarrotCake

      Posted

      It makes me wonder: would these modesty-fundies be okay with swimwear on girls-only trips?

      In this case it is filmed and published so the same standards as public places would apply but what if it was a private moment between friends and family?

      For instance, Muslim women do not dress with the same modesty standards in the private of their household.

      • Upvote 1
    • EmiSue

      Posted

      3 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

      There is also a toy rabbit with a pink ribbon in the picture.

      Either they use it to honor Isla or it’s an announcement for a girl. 

      My guess is to honor Isla, since she'd be a few months old now if she made it, but could be both.

      • Upvote 1


×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.