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Introductions


GoddessOfVictory

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Why put this all online instead of talking to my friends? I’ve always been the listener in my friend group, but when it comes to talking about my own life I tend to feel like I’m wasting their time. Plus, almost all of them are married now, and have children. They've long since left this stage of life in the dust.

Why one more year? Because dating is exhausting and I’m tired of the cycle of crushing to crushed and back again. Because if I continue waiting for the one, I’m afraid the rest of life will pass me by.

A little background about me – I’m in my early thirties and I’ve never been in love. Growing up I was always the shy, ugly girl that no guys paid attention to. However, I have had one boyfriend in the recent past. It was not a match made in heaven.

Here are the current key people:

The Ex – Twenty-five years my senior. Half of the time he is one of the most generous guys you’d ever meet. The other half, he’s an emotionally abusive, unapologetic a**hole. He’s a workaholic who hasn’t taken a day off in over a year. To complicate matters,  we still work together and are still friends.

The Brit – My current crush. He lives in England. I do not. He’s cute and has that oh-so-sexy accent. We frequent the same forum and belong to a group chat on Skype. We have a lot in common but he might have his eye on someone else.

Muscle Man – Met through a mutual friend. He really likes to work out. Me? Not so much. We used to go to school together but never had any of the same classes. Our mutual friend claims he’s interested, but he took three months to get in contact. Not sure we have much in common but I’m willing to get to know him.

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  • Posts

    • Black Aliss

      Posted

      10 hours ago, thoughtful said:

      But sometimes I think "People, that was an hour of near-constant nonsense! It was  mostly just babbling - how can you want that?"

      Maybe people come to see him for the entertainment value. I mean, his schtick is a curious admixture of Jonathan Edwards (Sinners in the hands of an angry God), Robin Williams at his most manic, and Don Rickles

    • thoughtful

      Posted

      On 9/30, after his scary lecture to someone who he thought might not have been totally entranced by his What Would You Do With Jesus message, Gary read Genesis 5:24 - And Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him.

      "Ahwanna ask ya a question. Enoch took it serious, an' said hey ah believe the for mah children's sake because if you read the whole story there read the whole chapter maybe ya oughta go home an' do that amen? Won't hurtchu to read a chapter of the Bahble today ah read uh 27 today. That make ya say wha? Ah wanna know more about Jesus. Ah didn't just say it, ah put actions on it, amen? You say 'Yeah but you're a preacher, you don't have nothin' else t'do.'"

      He stops for a weird and rather evil-looking smirk and some congregants laugh:

      Spoiler

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      Can't you just imagine him explaining to James Bond how the incredibly slow, torturous killing apparatus will work?

      "You'd be surprahsed. Ah'll tell ya what - bein' that you don't think ah do nothin' else, ah invite you to Miss Stout's house at ten o'clock in the mornin' an' come an' help me load mah stuff up. You'll fahnd out how hard ah work, amen? But walkin' with God. That's an important thing in your life, amen?"

      Oh, I guess we're back to Enoch. He never did ask them a question - guess that was just one of Gary's verbal farts.

      He says there are people today that can walk the walk, but can't talk the talk, and then corrects himself (I wonder if Becky gives him a "flip it around the other way" signal of some sort at those moments).

      He says he doesn't know anything about being in the Army, because he never was, but he's been learning over the last few days - it sounds like he's been having or overhearing conversations with a woman who serves in the Army, who is there in church. He says "she's the leader," and uses her as an example of needing to keep people "walking within the line."

      Well, he was able to acknowledge a woman in the armed forces, and being in charge of others, with no sarcastic comments (so far). Practically miraculous, for Gary.

      He says they have to do the same thing for "the Lord Jesus Crah." He talks about how he didn't like "the footprint" because he didn't understand it, but now he does.

      Reminding them they have to take every opportunity to talk about Jesus, Gary says he's:

      Spoiler

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      Aw, Gary names his hats! Isn't that cute?

      Now I want to name my clothes! How about a pair of socks called Fred and Ginger? Ah, but how could I tell which is which? Better do that with a pair of shoes, instead.

      After yelling at them (or maybe just that one person he got pissed off at before - hard to tell) about reading the Bible for a while, then starts in on how the mysterious "they" are going to take away all the Bibles someday.

      He brings up how "they were tryin' to git rid of Dr. Seuss." "What that is is they gotta git you inbrained an' they gotta git you instilled an' they gotta git you sold out for the news media, amen, an' believin' what they're sayin' an' they kin take the Dr. Seusses an' then they come gitcher King James Bahble. If you've got an NIV they prob'ly won't mess withya ya say wha? Heh - there ain't much in there about God amen."

      I love that "ingrained" has turned into "inbrained." It's one of those semi-logical malapropisms.

      Gary does his usual crap about his love affair with the KJV, and admits he doesn't understand all of it. But he seems to have an odd idea of what that means.

      He's "fixin' t'go through Chronicles" next week, "an'  ah'm gonna say 'Joe,' an' 'Bob,' an' 'Sue,' an' th'rest of 'em, ya say wha? Ah'm not gon' be able t'pronounce all them names."

      Gary says he's "not makin' fun" or "makin' laht." But then makes his joke about being thankful his Momma didn't know all of those names when she named him.

      So, not being able to pronounce the names in Chronicles is the only way in which you think you don't understand the Bible, Gary?

      I grant, Chronicles has some long lists of names - I don't think most of them are difficult, but I'm a word nerd and a musician who loves to mimic sounds, and have had the sounds of the original Hebrew that the transliteration is supposed to represent in my head for over 60 years. So I can only try imagine how they look to someone who only knows English, and then to someone who barely reads English, like Gary.

      Not to mention that, when it comes to using the Bible as a guide for life, morality or anything important, all of those name lists in Chronicles are useless. Tom Lehrer's Elements, various Cole Porter and Stephen Sondheim songs, Tchaikovsky, that little Mozart ditty about all of the women Don G. has shtupped, and many other catalog songs are much more entertaining, and some are useful!

      Gary, skip the lists of names altogether, unless you really need to know who begat who for some reason.

      Well, looking those songs up was a fun distraction from Gary - let's see what he said next.

      Oh, just more about the KJV, then "Go t'Proverbs chapter fahve. No, Proverbs chapter three."

      I'll meet you there later, Gary. First I need to listen to I Can't Get Started.

    • indianabones

      Posted

      I just went back on Tinder for the first time since before covid. Now that I live in a red state- as opposed to Seattle- it seems like half the guys on there either have multiple children or are posing in their camo with a dead animal in every one of their pics. It's wild. Crossing my fingers that I meet someone who's more my scene.

      • Upvote 2
    • BigSandy

      Posted

      Re: the baby's nails - 

      Could it be that the baby's fingernails are a darker color from something like cyanosis? I've seen that in babies before and their nails look painted. Obviously I hope Maddy doesn't have any health conditions, and I also wouldn't put it past them to paint her nails, but that was just a thought I had!

    • hoipolloi

      Posted

      1 hour ago, Howl said:

      He's an important thought leader and head of the Western Conservancy, you know. 

      And never forget that he's a former duck biologist! 🦆🦆🦆🦆

       



  • Recent Status Updates

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      SillyDillys

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      Cartmann99

      Are you an I Love Lucy fan?
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      PinkGreyBrown

      My mother's family's farm (in northern California) was the stable touchstone of my childhood, the place we went for many holidays & most summers, if only for a week or two at a time. My mother was a travel enthusiast, my father was in the military, my younger sister & I grew up in the back of a car. Been in every state in the union except maybe North Dakota, spent three months in Europe, three months in Mexico -- all before I was a teen. I realized, as an adult, I don't actually like traveling. It makes me anxious. My mother kept traveling up until shortly before she died.
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    • Cartmann99

      Cartmann99  »  47of74

      Saw this and remembered that you are also an MST3K fan:
       
      · 1 reply
    • 47of74

      47of74

      This place is much nicer when there aren’t drunk douche nozzles trying to start WWIII with my sister. 

      Last time I was here I brought my sister. There was a drunk douche cannon holding court here. He and my sister took mutual exeception to each other. Well he first then my sister responded.
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