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The Rabbit Hole of Rants

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Life sucks a lot


HermioneSparrow

1,311 views

Today I talked to someone who doesn't believe in God about why I do believe. It's funny because I'm feeling hopeless right now, feeling like if there is a God, he might not like me at all. I believe in him, I guess. I find peace in praying and trusting in him but sometimes life hits me really hard that I can't assure his existence anymore. When I get these feelings of loneliness I start to question everything about my life.

I've never had emotional stability or feel less lonely. I'm just here waiting for the moment when everything will go downhill because that's the way my life works. Something good then everything goes horribly. Life was going great, now i'm having the worst day I've had in a long time. It's like I can't even enjoy happiness or joy anymore because I know what's coming next. It sucks so much seeing everyone being loved one way or another, and here I am alone as always, feeling like my mother should have aborted me because maybe the world would be better and I wouldn't be suffering this much. I know I shouldn't feel that way but I can't help it. I have SO MUCH love to give, and heck! I give so much love! I'm such a loyal and sweet person, I don't know why things go this way and I'm not good enough, not even for my family.

Maybe I'm just destined to be abandoned or alone and that's it. Everyone I know can get their happiness but me. And I try to be completely stoked about my career that's moving forward but I guess my career won't hug me at night. Can I just get a break? From life?

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ClaraOswin

Posted

Life is sucking a bit here too. I have no words of wisdom or anything. Just want you to know that you aren't alone in wanting a break from life.

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SilverBeach

Posted

Please know that this too shall pass. Hang in there. For the past two years, I have had the most wonderful, loving, and kind man in my life (a VERY long time coming). The lonely years were brutal. But it came, true love.. Please be gentle and kind to yourself. Don't say things to yourself that you wouldn't say to a friend that is hurting.

Take care, keep on talking to God and being honest with your feelings. Be encouraged.

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HermioneSparrow

Posted

That's very sweet and means a lot. I'm trying very much to hang in there, I guess I'll be okay. It's just hard when you're alone, no family or anything. Depression gets the best of me but I'm strong. Again, thank you! @SilverBeach

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JeanieCat

Posted

I feel I really do know how you feel and it is very hard. One by one over the years my best friend then my family have all died off  Every person I leaned on is gone and now I am left to stand alone. Sometimes I have a real pity party because like you it looks like everything is great for everyone else. Truth is, it really isn't!  When I get talking to others I begin to realize that we all have problems and somehow we just have to make the effort to get out there and try to make the best life we can for ourselves. I know you can make it!

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Quivering Uterus

Posted

When I was much younger I felt the same way. I want to tell you that life is a roller coaster and full of dips , hills, swerves and wlidly swinging curves. 

You are in a dip. Just keep putting one foot forward, invest yourself in your career and yourself, and then the rest will come later. Don't settle for less, because you crave companionship.Someday, if you lookout for you first, the rest will fall into place.

 

Been there, done that. 

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bashfulpixie

Posted

You aren't alone.  I've been in the same crappy, leaky boat for the last week.  It's a rough feeling, but sometimes it helps to know you aren't the only one going through it.

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Grimalkin

Posted

    I just wanted to say I am so sorry you are feeling this way and going through this. 

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      • Upvote 1
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      • Upvote 2
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      • I Agree 1


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