Continuing 10/28 in Loris, Gary reads John 1:1 - In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
"A'm gonna tellya how good God has given us here in Amurrica - we have the worda God." Screaming: "We have the worda God listen hey there is countries in the foreign fields an' they - uh - cain't speak English an' they speak whatever it is that they have listen hey somma those countries still t'day do not have the worda God even in their language but in the English-speaking language we have the worda God. Now ah haveta say because of the day an' hour we're livin' in, ah'm talkin' about the King - James - Bahble, that is Gods-ah infallable - worda God, those other ones are books. People say" (stupid person voice) "'Well Gohhhhd wrote this, God wrote that, an' He had this done,' listen hey, God said he was not the author of confusion, an' havin' a book-ah, rather than a Bahble, is con-fusion! Amen!"
He screams about what's left out of the NIV, and bellows on about the wonderful KJV, with lots of repetitive chanting, and -ah at the end of words. He's in full-on fake old-timey preacher mode, and says nothing new for a while.
Gary shrieks that he knows it's real because he can read something he's read "over an' over an' over an' over, an' really not nothin' never stuck out to me, an' every tahm that ah read that same chapter, every tahm ah git somethin' different."
Long pause, then he speaks more quietly. Ready for a truly deep thought? Maybe I should put it under a spoiler:
"And it ain't like readin' The Three Little Pigs. The Three Little Pigs don't do much for me."
I don't think the phrase "comparing apples to oranges" even begins to cover this one.
"Mah wahf bought mah granddaughter - what was the name of the book?"
"She don't even know what she bought her - mah goo'ness, she's bought her that much stuff." He gets louder and louder, until he is screaming again. "But it was some kinda book that ah - that has been read down through the decades of many people's homes, an' mah daughter sent me a picture of mah granddaughter - hallelujah ah git t'see a picture of it anyway once in a whahl, amen? An' an' she sent a picture of it, an' she was reading that book t'her. Now ah wanna say somethin' to ya, ah have no problem with her readin' that book t'her an' her teachin' whatever kahnda lesson it is thatchu need to, but ah'manna tellya raht now ah hope t'God they'll get that old King James Bahble an' they'll read that old King James Bahble to her, an' they'll show her what the real worda God is - "
And he goes on screeching at top volume for a while, about how fabulous the KJV is. Also, people didn't have to wonder what Donald Trump was thinking - he made it clear. Same with the KJV - God made everything clear.
KJV: I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.
BGV: I will come again unto you, and receive unto you myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. And whether I go ye know . . . and uh and the way ye know.
"Ah'll say another thing how ah know how good God is - He's preparin' a mansion for me."
While screaming about Heaven, Gary mentions that, being saved, he's not afraid to die. "Ah k'n lay mah head on mah pilla, an' ah k'n dah, just lahk Miss Frances did, she dahd yesterday, somewhere in the middle of the naht prob'ly or early yesterday mornin, 'cause at elevena clock he said her body was cold. So she'd been gohn for a little whahl. Ah told mah wahf ah'm so hot-natured, it'll take - they'll have to pick a big wahld guess on whether - if ah dahd, what tahm it was 'cause ah'll - ah may not never cool down amen."
Thanks, Gary - we all really needed to hear that.
He gets on the subject of Christmas. "Now if you know anything, this Santa Claus that they came up with comes from the north. If ah read mah Bahble raht an' ah study mah Bahble raht, Heaven's in the north. Ah'm a little bit concerned about that - maybe Jesus is a Yankee, ah don't know amen we'll have to be a little bit - ah'm jokin.' AMEN. Brother Will be all for that he's from MIchigan God help him."
And, whatever his point was going to be about Santa, and Heaven being in the North, it's gone. He's back to screeching about Jesus and salvation.
God and Jesus are so good, that even in our troubled times we can praise the Lord.
Gary starts burbling (which turns into screaming, of course) about going to jail or prison. He's never gone, except to preach. "But ah'm talkin' about far as goin' t'jail an' bein' han'cuffs, an' setting there - ah've never done that, an' ah ain't plan - well if ah do it, it will be fer the cawuse of Chrise, with the help of the Lord Jesus Chrise amen, but far as crah - crahm, that is really been committed, that's really a constitutional crahm, ah've never done that thank God, or ah never been caught in the part - huh, never done anything t'go t'jail for, but ah wanna say somethin' to ya, hey even whenever ah go through trahhhls an' tribblations an' hard tahms an' disappointing tahms, an' mah vehicles tore up, an' this is goin' ohn, an' that's goin' ohn, ah'manna tellya raht now, God is good enough to us, that He's there with us every steppa th'way, He was there with Paul an' Sahlas, an' Paul an' Sahlas knew He was there, an' they made the praisesah God, an' they shouted the victory amen!"
You can scream about tribulations and Paul and Silas all you want, Gary - I heard that "never been caught" part.
He yells and quakes the story about his preacher friend who said he had no purpose, because he had "alltahmers." Gary says he lost a great prayer warrior when this man died. As I remember, he and his wife also sent you money, which I assume you also miss, Gary.
Another screech-round comes out, about how Jesus takes care of him, and the devil is always trying to knock down people who are doing God's work.
I need to rest my ears for a while - I'll finish this one later.