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Worldly Distractions: Girls 3.7 - Beach House





So, Hannah's career, Marnie's life in general, Shoshana's romantic possibilities and Jessa's ability to relate to other humans are all in the toilet. How will our girls possibly get out of this? Sounds like a vacation is in order.

Previously on: Hannah takes a sell-out job, Shoshana goes on a journey of sex, Ray and Marnie love-hate each other, Hannah whines about being a sell-out and almost quits.

Cut to Marnie in a pretty countryside setting meticulously arranging flowers. I assume this is the titular beach house? She even places individualized place cards on all the beds, just like the Martha Stewart refugee that she is. She stands on the balcony, the wind blowing through her hair, while hoity-toity music plays. I think it might even be the same location as HIMYM's Farhampton Inn - or at least a good look-alike. Opening titles, and I've got to say, the show's been pretty saucy with these lately.

Hannah shows up with a ridiculous pajama-like outfit and some kind of sombrero. Shoshana twitters about the Hamptons, though Marnie snobbily informs her that this is North Fork - the Hamptons are tacky, dontcha know? Jessa has miraculously agreed to come along, and invited some weird people from the bus to hang out on a whim. The old people are gotten rid of, and the girls go home to fight over the rooms, ignoring Marnie's place cards like champions. Marnie sets them all straight. Things are still pretty awkward between Marnie and Hannh, though. Nothing that a romp in the pool can't clear up.

Eventually, they make it to the actual beach, where Hannah tears up her feet on the rocks and complains about everything, Jessa is weird and Marnie is determined to prove to everyone on Instagram that they're still good friends. Jessa offers to teach them some rehab communication games. Marnie keeps bitching about healing - only they have to heal on her schedule.

Hannah, put some damn pants on. Seriously, just because it's a beach town does not mean you have to bike around in a bikini. She gets her comeuppance when the stores won't let her in - they end up shopping by listening to Hannah's shouts through the door, though her requests are ignored in favor of Marnie's ridiculous lists.

Some guys walk by making fun of Hannah's attire, and it turns out Elijah's one of them. And seriously, is Andrew Rannells on every show this season? How I Met Your Mother, Modern Family, Girls...dude is riding high. Anyway, they try to cover it, but Hannah still knows they were laughing at her, and she's still pissed at Elijah for many reasons, so it's a tad tense. They make small talk, wind up apologizing to each other, and admit they still want to be friends. They share some Marnie complaints that include "mean, skinny Miss Hannigan". Hannah unwisely invites Elijah and his friends over. They hug it out.

The guys do wind up coming over, much to Marnie's rage. She flips out on Hannah, getting promoted over her to Most Unlikable Person On the Show in the process. Heaven forbid the boys interrupt their bonding for one evening. Seriously, who gets this involved in friend groups after high school? Marnie's mollified when Hannah tells her they're all theatre people. They all wind up having cocktails and enjoying themselves, except for Bitter Marnie, who hides in the kitchen with some vegetables. Elijah tries to talk to her, but she's still angry. He tells her all about his new boyfriend, with whom he thinks he's in love. However, a conversation between Hannah and the boyfriend a little later reveals that this relationship might not be as intense as Elijah thinks.

Marnie tells Elijah the story of her breakup with Charlie, which was super sudden and written to coincide with the actor's departure  devastated Marnie. Charlie is apparently now unsuccessful and alone. Elijah admits he's always thought Charlie was gay, which has presumably never occurred to Marnie before. They chat about Ray, which leads to a long discussion between Elijah and one of his friends about who's fucking who. Jessa gets Hannah to drink more by threatening relapse. Elijah's choreographer friend teaches them a hot new dance.

Hannah and Marnie manage to sneak away for some healing, where Marnie talks about her abandonment issues and Hannah talks about her need for space. They hash out some longstanding issues and generally work it out like old buddies.

By evening, everyone's drunk in the pool and I wonder who will drown first. Jessa's naked, of course. They're having a fantastic time, but Marnie ruins it by telling Hannah that it's dinnertime - for just the four of them. The boys get the boot. Marnie insists that they have to heal as a foursome, which sounds ridiculous. Hannah tells her so, then invites everyone to join them for dinner.

There's not enough food to go around, and everyone laughs at Marnie for not cooking enough while she looks like she swallowed a lemon (which, to be fair, is her usual look this season). She then hides in her room and refuses to join the after-dinner activities. Finally, she's coaxed out, and can this four-person dance do their damned healing already? Marnie insists they do it again, just to make it perfect, and criticizes everyone around her. This blows up into a huge argument. Shoshana, possibly stoned, calls Hannah out on her endless narcissism. She also tells Marnie she's ridiculously controlling. The issues all get thrown out, culminating in a rant that where she calls them all "nothings". Nice.

Hannah points out that they've really done nothing together in the past couple of years, and wonders what's connecting them. Marnie says they would have reconnected, had it not been for the ruined plans this weekend. (The guys, by the way, have all run off, sensibly so.) Shoshana says more mean things, leaving the girls to conclude that she's a mean drunk, and Hannah to add that she's stupid. Everyone is against her on that one. The arguments continue and get lower and lower. Some unforgivable things are said.

Meanwhile, Elijah and his boyfriend are arguing out their own issues. When he mentions he had advice from Hannah, the boyfriend disparages his old friend like nothing. The "ILY" phrase comes out. The boyfriend thinks they're moving too fast. Elijah backtracks fast. They forget about it - kinda - with sex.

The girls wake up in their separate rooms the next day, heading to the kitchen to clean up and make breakfast. Marnie silently joins them. No apologies yet. They go down to the dock and sit there in silence. However, soon they get into some sort of strange hand motion, and that's enough for now, I guess. End credits.

Yeah, this episode sounds really weird, and that's because it was. It was nice to see the four girls together again, and the return of Elijah. The ambiguous ending was quite interesting - maybe their friendship really will torpedo, like so many do post-college - and the argument was incredibly well-written. However, DAMMIT these people are unpleasant to be around. Maybe these girls can't be redeemed. Maybe that's the point of the show. Whatever happens, though, they'll continue to bounce around this weird, sad life - held together by the connections we force. How many people we know do just that?


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  • Posts

    • Bluebirdbluebell


      6 hours ago, no fun funddie said:

      Am I the only one who found it strange that when the ‘Bowers Girls’ are mentioned by Hayley Lina isn’t in the photos. I think Hayley mentioned Lina in relation to how her and Carver first interaction with Cass. I can understand if Lina didn’t want to be photographed but it does seem a little like she’s ignoring her by praising the others. IMG_0179.thumb.jpeg.2bd1581e92ea5b491ace4e7a73da8265.jpeg

      I agree. I also think it's weird she's deciding who the "Bower girls" are, but then I hate the gender politics around last names anyway.

    • marmalade


      5 minutes ago, dawn9476 said:

      Was it known that Hannah was having a 2nd? I know social media is private, but it seems like stuff still comes out despite that.

      Wasn't she seen pregnant at Nurie's tea party? I am pretty sure she was seen somehow.

    • dawn9476

      Posted (edited)

      Was it known that Hannah was having a 2nd? I know her social media is private, but it seems like stuff still comes out despite that.

      Edited by dawn9476
    • JermajestyDuggar


      Yet another trip. She’s just like Jill Rod in this way. She never wants to be home with her kids. 


      • Upvote 1
    • nelliebelle1197


      14 hours ago, postscript said:

      Thank you for moving this. Kelly, like Karissa Collins, is one who I’ve resisted following, even though some of the Facebook groups talk about her endlessly. But the horrifying birth story, followed by the over-the-top fable accompanied by carefully composed pictures of Kelly looking spiritual (seriously, where does she find the time? She has a new baby and two small kids!), sucked me in. She is weird in a completely different flavor than others we follow.

      One of her posts has a link to the retreat. Among agenda items - “time with baby Theresa” and the ability to try on and purchase prairie dresses made by Kelly. Does she really have followers who will go for this, or is it just going to be her and her besties admiring each other? 

      She is selling time with her baby? What the hell?

      • Upvote 1
      • Haha 1

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