Do you have any idea how terrifying it was to Google Image this show's title?

Previously on: Adam's crazy sister shows up, Shoshana and Ray are awkward, all the embarrassing things that happened at Hannah's birthday, Caroline continues her stampede of weird.

Hannah goes to see her editor. She's late for the meeting, but he's too lazy to even show up. She drops her purse in the middle of the reception area and makes an ass of herself yet again. The receptionist has her wait. Suddenly, the entire office is abuzz and everyone is running around trying to find out about a huge event. Everyone refuses to tell Hannah what's going on, though I think it's perfectly legitimate to want to know. Eventually, David's receptionist tells another employee - David's dead. Well, that was sudden. RIP John Cameron Mitchell's presence on this show. You will be remembered fondly.

Opening titles. We join Marnie in an exercise frenzy. Clearly she's got some sort of new lease on life, though no reason is given. Abruptly, the scene cuts to Hannah and Jessa on the couch, as Hannah recounts the Tale of the Dead Publisher. Jessa gets all metaphysical about it. Of course, Hannah only sees it in relation to herself. Adam returns with - a picture of Tom Hanks grubbed from someone's garbage? - and he and Jessa needle each other. When told the terrible news, he initially can't remember who David is, but is very sympathetic once they clear that up.

Hannah proves herself to be the Worst Person Ever by complaining that no one told her anything about her eBook. Adam's horrified by this, and he and Jessa both tell her she's being callous. Her answer's excessively pedantic, Adam rolls his eyes in exasperation.

Marnie listens to mindfulness tapes while making healthy smoothies. I'm a little curious about this new health kick, but hey, as long as it doesn't involve singing.

Hannah tells Adam the details of David's death - he was found in the Hudson River, toxicology reports pending. Adam's horrified that she's getting her news from Gawker, and goes on a rant about the media circus that inevitably follows a high-profile death. Hannah defends their practices, pointing out that Jezebel is "a place where feminists can gather", which is pretty hilarious following the recent Lena Dunham photo controversy. She cites the community she's created online, and how great it makes her feel. Adam's still skeptical.

While Shoshana babbles about her bandanna collection (and she looks awesome in them), Jessa switches the conversation back to death. Girl's got a fixation. Shoshana reflects on a high school friend who died in an accident. It turns out Jessa also has a friend, who "choked on vomit or something". Shoshana suggests visiting her grave; Jessa looks decidedly unenthused. To top it off, when Shoshana explains how processing the grief helped her get through her friend's death, Jessa's response is "You had a friend who died?" Okay, is she truly sick or just really fucking selfish?

Hannah goes to work an extra shift at Ray's, muttering about her eBook. When Adam looks displeased, she asks him why on earth he's mad about it when it's been, like, a whole day since David died. "I'm not mad, I'm scared," says Adam, which proves once again that he is probably the smartest person on this show. This turns into an argument about what would happen if Adam died. He says she'd just be scared about making rent. She tells him that yes, it would probably be one of her anxieties. Adam maintains that if she died, he'd basically fall apart, while she tells him what she would say in his eulogy. Wow, he's a belligerent ass and she's totally self-absorbed. It's truly a match made in heaven.

Ray's first reaction to hearing about a death is "So Marnie finally decided to throw in the towel?" Wooow. "We in the literary community are left scratching our heads," Hannah coolly informs him. Ray offers to let her go home, but she confesses that she feels nothing - though she'd still like to go home. Ray suggests she has sociopathic tendencies, and says he feels worse than she does. Once again, Hannah maintains that there are different reactions to bad news and they're all OK. Ray more or less shrugs it off.

Jessa calls someone, sounding oddly cheery - but in a really fake way. She asks to visit her friend Season's "sarcophagus", but her contact has some surprising news for her!

Hannah runs into Laird, who is putting up some art in the hallways. She immediately tells him she "lost a close friend", because she's one of those twats who launches onto any death remotely related to them and milks it for all it's worth. Oddly enough, Laird seems to be the only one who gets that Hannah feels nothing. He tells her it will "come like a waterfall" at some point down the line. He should know - everyone he knows has died, including his pet turtle - which he then shows to her. It's about to be buried in a Coke bottle. Just then, Caroline randomly shows up in the hall, and invites Hannah out for a cup of tea.

Laird comes along, too, lugging the dead turtle. On the way, Hannah continues to rant about how everyone thinks he's selfish. Hint: when everyone thinks it, maybe the problem is not with them. Caroline thinks Hannah's having a perfectly normal reaction. They run off to have an adventure together.

Jessa shows up at an apartment building to find - Season! Alive! She faked her own death to get out of addiction, and held a funeral knowing Jessa wouldn't show, because as we are reminded every episode, Jessa is a terrible person. She's moved on and has a nice place, a partner and a baby. And she's still really bitter towards Jessa. Season's hipstery husband shows up and is delightfully awkward. I wouldn't mind seeing him again. Jessa tells her that she's doomed to fail and storms out.

Marnie's working at Ray's, still pursued by the horrible music video. Ray has apparently been streaming it to anyone wandering through. Marnie's outraged, though I don't see how she can be, since it's already been on YouTube for a while. They offer her some kind words, comparing her favourably to Edie Brickell's version (this is a real song? Oh dear god), but this does nothing. Marnie flips out and quits her job, insulting Ray in the process. She has a rage session about how she should be working for "fancy people", instead of degrading herself in a coffee shop. I can't say I'm sympathetic. The guys are left confused.

I can also report that the song is actually decent when performed by competent people. Will wonders never cease.

Hannah, Caroline and Laird crash a cemetery, climbing all over the tombstones and generally having a whale of a time. Caroline and Hannah discuss their psychiatric issues, the value of feeling, and which option is preferable. When Hannah confesses her fears about her relationship with Adam, Caroline segues into a story about their cousin Margaret, who died at twelve from muscular dystrophy. During her long decline, Adam was utterly devoted to her, even taking her to a high school dance. It's a touching story - too bad Caroline has a rather poor audience. Laird starts to cry, Hannah fixes on pointless details. Caroline laughs in her face and tells her it was all made up. To illustrate her point, she emphasizes Hannah's lack of emotion, which makes Hannah defensive. Laird just keeps crying.

Jessa wanders through the park, alone. Pretty music plays. She looks at her sunny surroundings and smiles to herself, yet shivers.

Hannah returns to find Adam on the front step. They're very awkward about it. Hannah tries to explain herself. As she goes on about how shocking it was, she starts to cry. She then starts to tell Adam the story of her cousin Margaret. Who died. Oh, fuck me. Hannah, you don't deserve to have any friends. Adam gets the WTF look on his face. However, he seems to believe her, so he listens in. Hannah continues the story. End credits.

This episode was incredible. Can any of these characters turn into worse human beings? With each week, they just seem to sink further and further. We'll see what comes next - but I wonder how any of them can ever escape the corners life (and Dunham) have written them into.

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