Merry Christmas, everybody! While we all pig out on stocking candy and unsuccessfully attempt to download new eBooks, let's enjoy this year's British Christmas specials. Is it just me, or does Britain do everything better than us North American slobs? New to our lineup is the wonderful Call The Midwife, which just concluded its second series last spring and is full of delightful characters. Have at it, FJ.

It's Christmas in Poplar, and Old Jenny (Vanessa Redgrave, guys!) lectures about Christmas and the status quo. Fred gets busted for selling mistletoe without a license, but Noakes happily accepts a bunch with a blind eye. The nuns are busy getting a polio vaccination day ready, and Dr. Turner is concerned because a few cases have popped up and they might be too late. Take THAT, anti-vaxxers. Oh, and he's getting married in a couple of days to Sister Bernadette Sheila. The kids all show up straight from a school concert, dressed like reindeer and unaware of the mildly painful fate ahead of them. Noakes drops in on Chummy (rocking a pair of slacks) and baby Fred, who is of course as adorable as his parents. And of course, Noakes has got got some mistletoe behind his back...

Jenny and Trixie talk about the impending demolition of Nonnatus, which has been pushed back to season 3 delayed for another 18 months. Apparently, Jenny has a new council surveyor boyfriend. I vaguely remember him but can't remember anything about him, including his name. No matter, it shall be unveiled soon enough. Just then, they get a call from a sergeant.

They interrupt Chummy and Noakes to tell them that there was an incident just around the corner. Noakes goes to check it out. Jenny meets New Boyfriend in a phone booth and they make out for a bit.

Sheila and Sister Julienne run into each other on the street, and it's a tad awkward, but they smooth it over. Sheila is consumed with becoming a wife and stepmother, so her non-nun life is certainly busy. She excitedly tells Sister Julienne about her wedding dress, which is currently in a box on top of her bike. It will be a simple ceremony, but of course she's really freakin' excited. Sister Julienne tells her that Nonnatus House is with her all the way. So adorable.

Jenny visits a young mother who's six days overdue, and finds out that the husband has malaria from his time in the military. They're excited about the baby, but worried it will come at Christmas - which of course guarantees that it will.

The girls arrive at Chummy's room with Christmas carols and wine. They're going out caroling and want Chummy to come with them, but she's happy to be home with Fred. Also, Miranda Hart just looks fabulous this episode, between the permed hair and the slacks. Very vintage chic. The constant smile helps, of course!

Timothy is still very hostile to the prospect of a new stepmommy, criticizing everything about the upcoming wedding. Apparently, if you were once married to Jesus that automatically makes you divorced and therefore scandalous. Sheila holds in her temper, but she's pretty pissed.

Sister Julienne attends at a birth, along with Dr. Turner. The nuns and nurses are caroling in the next room over, which would annoy the crap out of me but seems to comfort the young mom. The baby's born, it's a girl, whoop de do. I expect her to be in mortal danger in about ten minutes. Dr. Turner goes home and tells Sheila about the birth, which was complicated, and mentions the carol singing. Sheila has a moment of nostalgia for her nun life, but Dr. Turner puts this away with wedding talk. Is it just me, or is he kind of taking control of their life? Oh, well, we'll find out, I guess. Sheila confesses that she feels awkward around the nuns, since she left them for Dr. Turner, but he reassures her that they still love her. Eventually, the awkwardness will pass. Honestly, I really like this plot. Even when you're changing your life for something happy, there's still a massive transition to go through, and it looks like Sheila is in the thick of it. Good job, writers.

A sudden power outage occurs, which Cynthia attributes to a hair dryer. However, Officer Noakes shows up with an ominous message. Everyone is roused from their beds. An unexploded bomb has been found in the neighborhood, and they need to evacuate immediately. This extends to the surrounding streets, too, as the Pregnant Lady and Malaria Guy are also taken from their home. This prompts Malaria Guy to go into a PTSD flashback.

Chummy compares the evacuation to Mary fleeing Herod's decree with Jesus, while Jenny is the only one to figure out that Sister Monica Joan is missing. Fortunately she turns up, not just alive and well, but doing great and invigorated by the trek into the chilly night air. Fred (caretaker, not baby) leads the evacuation, and the entire neighborhood goes to a nearby safe point.

At the evacuation hall, Sister Evangelina takes charge, berating the cops and generally having a whale of a time. Now that she's out of a place, Sheila actually dares to sleep over at her fiance's house. SHOCKING.

Trixie threatens the unruly crowds with her special brand of discipline. Oddly enough, they seem pretty eager to be punished by the blonde bombshell. As they go inside, Jenny finds Pregnant Lady (Yvonne) and her husband Malaria Guy.

Sheila has demurely taken the couch, and she, Dr. Turner and Timothy chat about the wedding. Thank goodness, the church is safe - especially since the wedding is in two days.

Jenny settles the couple into a more private anteroom. Everything's fine, but there's still something weird about them. The nuns patrol the building, Noakes arrives to join his wife and kid, and - surprise! - Malaria Guy goes into Korea flashbacks. Sister Monica Joan complains about how much she misses Sister Bernadette. They all agree that something is missing without her. Oh, god, she's not going to go back, is she?

While Sheila holds court at the Turner house, Timothy fiddles with his father's briefcase. What could he be up to?

Noakes and Jenny's boyfriend wander through the area, talking about the Blitz. If this old bomb goes off, the street will be destroyed and countless lives thrown into disarray. Morning comes, and the nuns deliver food to the evacuees. Chummy gets into her Cubs uniform, rounds up the little boys in her troop and tells them to take this as a challenge. It calms everyone's nerves a bit. Reporters sniff around, but good old Fred keeps them at bay.

The bomb squad reports that it is an especially delicate bomb, meaning that any touch will set it off. The required expert is up north and will get there the next day. In the meantime, everyone is still under evacuation order. This causes chaos among the evacuees, who just want to get home for Christmas.

Yvonne is going into labor, and her husband is too nervous to leave her. (And please, show, give us his name, I'm tired of calling him Malaria Guy.) The boys play a hockey game outside while poor Cynthia unsuccessfully tries to keep order. Yvonne's husband, already under a lot of stress, hears the shouting and begins to get edgy. As they discuss how annoying the bomb situation is, he gets into a full-blown panic and runs from the room.

Jenny and Trixie find him in an abandoned billiard room, along with blood on the floor. Yvonne's husband - Alan - is crying and refuses to believe that he is safe. The nurses reassure him, but it does nothing. Eventually, they manage to calm him down and dress his wounds. Trixie tells him that her father fought in Mesopotamia and went through many of the same things. He tells her how unprepared he was for the war and how it traumatized him deeply. Trixie proves to be a surprisingly good impromptu PTSD counsellor. Yvonne returns, and Alan apologizes to her for not having enough self-control. Trixie takes great exception to this, telling him that she never wants to hear him say that again. Later, she and Jenny lament what a terrible time this couple is having when they should be happy. Jenny promises that they'll talk to Dr. Turner about psychiatric care once the holidays are over, but Trixie says NO, NOW. She's already quite upset by the time Chummy comes in offering warm milk, and snaps at her friends before storming out.

Jenny brings Trixie said warm milk and suggests that they talk. Trixie tells her of her horrible childhood, where she was tasked with much of her father's care and the burden of having to keep it a secret. It was where she first developed her super-charming exterior, actually. Jenny consoles her, and Trixie begins to sob. They decide to help Alan in any way they can - to give him some kind of hope.

Chummy shows up at Dr. Turner's to ask a favor - she wants them to host the Cubs' Christmas party so it won't have to be cancelled. They happily oblige, and the apartment is soon filled with screaming pre-pubescent devils. And a very Merry Christmas to you, too.

Even in the midst of chaos, Jenny and her guy manage to sneak away for a bit of canoodling, though he has to carry her up the stairs on piggyback so there are no extra footsteps. Soon enough they have a drink in hand. The nuns have invited the boyfriend for Christmas dinner, signifying their eternal blessing, I guess.

Chummy and Dr. Turner escort the boys back to the hall, with the promise that they will detour past the bomb site. Considering the law of Chekhov's Gun Bomb, this seems like a spectacularly bad idea, and Chummy and Dr. Turner should be put in Bad Scout Leader Jail. Timothy stays at home and examines himself in the mirror.

Jenny finds Yvonne in the hallway and asks how they're doing. The answer: bad, but Yvonne's by his side at all times. Those two really do love each other.

At the Turner residence, Sheila checks out her wedding dress. It's simple but elegant, and as she looks in the mirror, she gives herself a small smile.

The bomb guy arrives from Scotland, so it looks like all that's in order.

Back at the centre, Sister Evangelina is aghast to hear that Jenny and Trixie want a man in the delivery room. Holy crap, that sounds like a terrible idea, with all the blood and screaming and stuff like that. However, they think that if he sees the birth of his child, it will have some kind of magical redemptive power. I don't know, it seems like this has enormous potential to go wrong. Sister Julienne brings up exactly this. Jenny's not deterred. The nuns veto it and put Jenny and Trixie to work.

Back at the Turner house, it turns out Timothy has swiped some pills from his dad's briefcase and is perpetually stoned. Heh, I once spent a Christmas that way. At the centre, Chummy conducts Christmas pageant rehearsals, which are promptly interrupted when one of the kids barfs all over the stage. Timothy still looks unwell, and his workaholic father sure doesn't notice. He instead promises to take Timothy for a fry-up as their "stag do", since Timothy's his best man and all.

Under the street, the bomb man fiddles with wires. Dramatic music plays. He climbs up to the surface and informs the others that the bomb is a) still live and extremely powerful. This is a tricky situation, for sure.

The puking Cub scout, Jack, seems to be suffering from something more than a bad meal, and this is confirmed pretty fast - Dr. Turner quickly confirms that he has polio. The kid is whisked off to the hospital, but considering his proximity to all those people in one room, yeah, I can see this going bad pretty fast.

Timothy gets ready for the wedding in a manner most adorable, ironing shirts and polishing shoes for both himself and his dad. However, we see a cup of juice on the ironing board - and we know Jack drank out of the bottle...

Sheila has had some kind of change of heart, I guess thinking she looked dowdy, and has rushed off to find a fancier wedding dress. The saleswoman unhelpfully informs her that this last-minute change of plans probably means she doesn't want to marry the groom. To be on the safe side, Sheila goes back to the original wedding dress. Crap. I REALLY do not want The Return of Sister Bernadette. These "reset" episodes really bug me. Oh well, whatever happens, happens. Carry on.

Sister Julienne confirms that they are Extremely Fucked, as half the kids aren't vaccinated. Bomb danger or not, they decide that people need to be sent home and the vaccinations need to be expedited.

The saleswoman continues to lambaste Sheila for daring not to have a family. "Brides need mothers," she says in a manner most bitchy. "Have you got any sisters?" Oh, wait until you hear this...

While Dr. Turner tries to get the appropriate authorities together, Sheila comes home - only to find a spilled drink and Timothy curled up sick on the couch. He's alive, but barely conscious and unable to sit up.

Soon enough, they're at the hospital, where the nurses call Sheila his mother and she doesn't correct them. She's wracked with guilt over the illness. They explain he was okay as a child because of her immunities. Once they hear that she's not Timothy's real mom, she is booted out immediately, stepmother-in-two-days or not. Assholes. She tries to tell them that Timothy's having trouble breathing, but they won't listen.

Dr. Turner comes rushing in to find his son in an iron lung. Nurse Bitchface tries to kick him out, but we do find out that the other kid's doing okay. Dr. Turner tries to reassure his son, at which point he gets a curt medical lecture. Bedside manner, it's a thing, guys.

Desperate for solace, Sheila goes running to the convent, to those who love her best. She interrupts the nuns while they're singing. Showing barely any surprise, they allow her to join them as if it's the most natural thing in the world. Sister Julienne takes her hand.

Afterwards, the two of them have a talk. Sister Julienne promises to deal with all the details involving the now-postponed wedding. Sheila confesses that she kept everything simple because she was scared of the looming marriage. Now, though, all those details seem frivolous. Sister Julienne is the usual angel of comfort, assuring her that the wedding will go on and it will all be great. Member or not, she is still part of Nonnatus House.

The final defusing is about to take place. Bomb Guy descends into the depths. Scary music plays once again. Sheila and Dr. Turner keep vigil at Timothy's bedside, just like the family they were meant to be. Yvonne's labor is proving to be slow, so there's a chance she could have it in her own home. Alan paces nervously. The Bomb Guy continues his work, and it's supposed to be tense, but come on, you really think they'll destroy all those expensive sets?

Unfortunately, he drops the fuse thing and the ticking begins. He scrambles for the surface in slo-mo, yelling at everyone to get down. The bomb - actually goes off. Well, I'll be. Everyone at the rescue centre hears the noise and is terrified, because it sounds like everyone's homes have gone up in smoke. Things shake in buildings. However, Bomb Guy is okay, and it looks like everyone else is, too. It was a minor explosion. Sister Evangelina shudders, remembering the blitz, and Chummy clutches baby Fred closer. She has no idea where Noakes is, and is terrified.

Alan yells for help, and the nurses come running, but it's not for him - it's for Yvonne, whose labor has been kickstarted by the sudden stress. She begs to keep Alan in the room, and they promise that he can stay, protocol be damned.

Noakes comes back, much to Chummy's relief, and announces that the bomb danger has been eliminated and everyone can go home. Everyone celebrates, and the Noakeses embrace. God, I love that family.

Meanwhile, Jenny escorts Yvonne and Alan home, as it's still early enough to transport her. Cynthia helps move Sister Monica Joan, who is as finicky as ever. However, when the nuns get back, they find out that Nonnatus has been shut down, due to "bomb damage". The sisters think that's bullshit, but judging by the shots of the shaking church, I don't know, maybe these guys have a point. Regardless of what really happened, the nuns are temporarily homeless. The major slumps back against a brick wall, enjoying a well-earned smoke.

The nuns sit on the church steps, complaining about it. Sister Evangelina blames Hitler for this, and I guess she's right. Sister Julienne is more concerned about the community and what will happen if they have to leave it.

Timothy comes out of his pseudo-coma. His first word? "Brylcreem". Even on death's door, kid wants to look his best for the wedding.

Yvonne's labor continues, and Alan is holding up surprisingly well, reassuring her the whole way. Trixie gives him a special smile. The baby is born, and Trixie tells Alan that "This blood is beautiful". The couple is as happy as can be, especially having been through it together.

Timothy is breathing on his own, and Sheila and Dr. Turner are with him. The sisters are taken to different lodgings, Jenny and the other nurses have Christmas dinner with Jenny's boyfriend, Old Jenny narrates about togetherness. We skip to spring, and Chummy and Noakes find a new home. The sisters are merged with another convent, from the looks of it. Nonnatus House is demolished, but by now everyone has moved on.

Everyone gets ready for Sheila's wedding. The nurses have taken it as their personal mission to make it as wonderful as possible. Sheila looks just plain gorgeous, I can tell you that. Sister Monica Joan arrives with flowers from the convent garden, which are placed in her bouquet. Timothy has a nice new suit, but disconsolately stares at his crutches and braces. He's worried about being laughed at, but his father assures him that the wedding will be wonderful and filled with love. For one last touch, he presents a gift to his son - a jar of Brylcreem.

Everyone gathers in the church - is it just me, or does Baby Fred look exactly the same as he did three months back? - and the wedding is carried off with style. Timothy is a great best man, everyone is full of smiles, and the bride looks incredible in her new fancy outfit. Sister Julienne brings her to the church, and Sheila laments that the nun can't give her away, since she's Sheila's family already. "You belong to no one but yourself," says Sister Julienne. Trixie, Jenny and Cynthia are bridesmaids, and ooh I am fond of those 1950's dresses. Such a gorgeous period. You know, if you only look at the surface. The revamped wedding goes off without a hitch, the Turners are a new happy family, and we conclude the Christmas special on a high note.

This was surprisingly intense, but well-plotted and heartfelt. The stories were unusual and interesting, and the characters always true to themselves - their delightful selves. Everyone in this show brought their A-game, and it's clear from the resulting work. Series 3 starts in January, and I can't wait to add it to our lineup. Merry Christmas once again!

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