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Truly, Lawfully, Evilly Yours

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About this blog

In which I respond to questions- mostly those nobody asked.

Entries in this blog

lawfulevil

This Fucking Summer

This fucking summer. This fucking year, really. So. My marriage, which limped along while I was super depressed because I just didn't care, is really rocky right now. I'm not sure he knows that it's total shit- I think he thinks everything is great. I mean, I finally stopped nagging him. I'm just really quiet all the time. I never ask him to do anything around the house anymore and just do it all myself. Because I'm fucking tired of having to tell a grown man, over and over and over again, that he needs to put effort into his own life outside of work. For the first time in a long time I'm thinking about the future and I'm just exhausted by the thought of however many more decades with him. I get one life and I'm not sure I want to spend it as someone's damn live-in help- there is no mystical property of a penis that prevents the owner of said genitals from cleaning the shower once in a fucking while, without being reminded six times, and without whining about it.

It all came to a head when one of his friends (who, silly me, I thought was my friend too- hahaha, no) told him that he's avoiding me on purpose (we're next door neighbors, it was getting pretty weirdly obvious) because he's got some Mike Pence flavored asshole ideas about the world. Well, the dude didn't acknowledge his own Mike Penceness, just said that he won't be alone with his friends' wives*. Like, what the fuck, dude, I'm a PERSON. I'm a PERSON. I don't BELONG to my husband, and I don't just drop my fucking pants every time I'm alone in a room with someone! As a matter of fact, the vast majority of times I have ever been alone with another human being, I was wearing my pants the whole time. The whole time!

*I'll note that this rule was clearly not in existence last year, before I lost 50 pounds.

Believe it or not I swallowed my rage (it took some serious swallowing) and did not make him eat his own mailbox. See? Agency. Choices. Not ruled by my emotions/gonads/instincts. Almost like I'm people or something.

Like, holy shit guys, I'm being treated like I'm an appliance with tits by basically all sides these days. This sucks and MANY things officially tasted better than thin feels.

lawfulevil

Killing Time

I got enough of a sanity break this weekend to look up and notice that the walls are still bare (I've been busy!). I looked around in some stores that have Arts. Everything was expensive, and I don't need a 3 foot tall EAT sign with blinking lights in my kitchen- I'm great at eating already. Everything I liked was expensive. Everything I thought was OK was still too expensive for the amount of OKness I felt. So I'm cobbling together some crappy DIY art with GIMP while I watch people yelling about politics. I've got a miter saw and some leftover molding from fixing up the old house, so frames won't cost anything.

I'm going to print this as 3 separate images and make some frames. That'll take care of... well, one smallish wall...

goodthehellenough.jpg

They go in the guest room, which is decorated in "I'm a terrible person and I like teal too much."

I'll hit up the good thrift store when it re-opens and the good consignment store later and cross my fingers.

lawfulevil

Notes on Diet

I quit eating mammals and poultry early this fall. It's mostly a secret. My husband knows, but I try to keep it quiet- people get really upset. I still eat the occasional fish (mostly sardines- much more sustainable) and if I'm a guest and I can't get away with skipping a meat dish I take a very small portion. I get my eggs from someone I know, but I eat eggs. I'm very lactose intolerant but I do eat a little cheese. And I'd never try to feed my cats that way- they're obligate carnivores, it's cruel. My dog actually does better with fish/veg protein, she's allergic to poultry and beef/lamb give her digestive problems (dog diarrhea is not fun).

My husband still eats meat, and that doesn't bother me- I still do all the grocery shopping, I still cook for him, I just don't eat it. My mobility problems are better, the eczema calmed down some, and our grocery bill is down substantially. He eats less meat now because I cook dishes (for me) that he tries and likes. The point isn't to "convert" him- he just isn't accustomed to veg dishes being enjoyable or palatable.

Really, truly, I don't care what you eat. I bought a couple pounds of bacon at Costco on Tuesday. I really, really don't care. Everyone has their own situation and their own shit to deal with. I did it because I have environmental impacts I don't control (a long commute I can't change), food intolerances (giving up meat helped my joint pain a lot and I'm less broken out and itchy), and an ever-increasing grocery bill.

I feel really powerless about all of those- I can't afford to move closer, I can't make my body stop freaking out, and couponing is usually only good for processed/packaged goods, which I don't buy in non-Costco quantities anyway. I make my own cheese, y'all. I garden as much as possible in a tiny lot. I draw the line at making my laundry detergent- that assumes my labor is worth nothing.

lawfulevil

Kitchen Organization Pt. I

I'm trying to decide which kitchen appliances should go and which should stay- this month I'm evaluating the Kitchenaid. I used it a lot right after I got it (almost 10 years ago now) but not much for years now. It's easier than I remembered, maybe just from more practice in the kitchen in general.  So, pizza dough.

IMG_20170105_220327-b.jpg

I've... I've ordered worse? That's not really a high bar, though- most of the veg pizza in town is a solid "meh".

lawfulevil

We're 4 days into the New Year and already one of the 2017 predictions has come true, look at that.

Spoiler

Mine.

On an unrelated note- I've put a lot of time, effort, and enthusiasm into learning how you really cook good food- and I've mostly overcome bad habits and mental ruts from cooking the kind of sludge my family ate when I was growing up. For example- despite a childhood in Texas, I didn't know what cumin was (I'd only tasted it in spice mixes) and I'd never tasted an avocado when I was 18. Yikes.

But sometimes you don't want the good stuff. You want a little sludge. And you want it to taste the same- exactly as crappy. This got a lot more complicated when I stopped eating meat... but I did it.

chili.jpg

Not shown: a little chopped garlic and generic taco seasoning (why buy taco AND chili seasoning, said my mom).

After recording my glop for posterity I sprinkled some of those fried onions leftover from Thanksgiving on top, because I'm trash.

 

lawfulevil

Somewhat recently an online acquaintance responded to a trending Tumblr/Twitter topic about the new Star Wars villain being quote unquote "emo". I'm going to skip summarizing it and just link it: my acquaintance says... Now, not to bury the lede here, but you may have guessed that I don't fucking care. I don't. I am intensely sick of the excuses people make for abhorrent behavior. Particularly white men behaving badly.

Spoiler retort:

Spoiler

 

His family sucks? Jedi life wasn't fulfilling? His heroes didn't turn out to be all that? Well, that sucks. But let's not forget that he's highly placed in an organization whose primary on-screen tactic is to DESTROY AN ENTIRE POPULATED SYSTEM.


 

Non-spoiler retort- the villain is a troubled young man who does wholly inexcusable things that are completely out of proportion to the source of his emotional trauma. And he can go fuck himself.

This trope in fiction and real life that being a horrible person is caused by bad things happening to you needs to stop. Abused children often grow up to be good people and loving parents. Serial killers often had seemingly average childhoods. This villain is completely and utterly unsympathetic- absolutely nothing could possibly explain his actions, and whining about "toxic masculinity" here only makes me judge the fuck out of you as a person.

Ruby Rhod is a million times better a human being than you will ever be, bro, and don't you forget it.

 

 

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