Expectations happen in a marriage. You expect reliability, fidelity, and good treatment among many other things. Expectations don’t always destroy a marriage but unrealistic expectations can damage one. Are you expecting your husband to work backbreaking hours to make ends meet so you don’t have to get a job? Is he expecting you to joyfully bare too many children to the point it damages your body and then have sex after taking care of ten children every day? These can be very unrealistic expectations that can be harmful to your spouse’s mental, physical, and spiritual health. On the other hand, asking for help with chores is not an unrealistic expectation as you both live in the house and are making it a home. Will it always be to your liking? No, because individuals are human with different ways of doing this and may have learned differently in the past. This is where we must evaluate our expectations and determine whether it needs to be addressed or not. Healthy, honest, and kind communication can go a long way to building up your marriage. You married your spouse for an equal, healthy partnership where you communicate desires and needs. You are each other’s protectors and providers, a safe place. You married because you love each other deeply and want to make each other’s lives more joyful, less burdensome, to be a friend and companion, and to stand with each other in times of need and distress. Sometimes life is neither easy nor happy but communication, compassion, faithfulness, and understanding can go far in easing the pain and adding light in dark times.