Jump to content

All Shall Know the Wonder

  • entries
    5
  • comments
    23
  • views
    2,487

I Went to Sight & Sound so You Don't Have To


purple_summer

1,236 views

This post is brought to you by the amazing homemade ice cream at Good N Plenty and dedicated to @Mela99 This does not make up for my bitterness about not going to Shady Maple. 

 

Today was........something. I'm remembering why I don't sign up for church-related things anymore. As a child, I always wanted to see a show there and I figured you're never too old for cute goats. I was slightly confused when I found out we would be seeing a production of Jonah but it ranks pretty low on the "potentially problematic" bible stories for me. 

BOY WAS I WRONG. 

I'll start off by saying the set design for the show was FANTASTIC. I want to hug the entire production team (especially the stage manager calling all those cues!) and feed them the baked good of their choice. The music is sung live over a pre-recorded instrumental track so there were a few timing issues but nothing that made the show unbearable. 

I'm lying, there's one song where the harmonies are really grating. 

Anyway, I'm sitting semi-enjoying the show, smelling too many roasted almonds, and crying over the worst $3 cup of watery iced coffee for all of act one. I shoot off a few texts to family members who I thnk would enjoy the show and settle in for act two. Now they open the show by explaining that they take some creative license with the storyline, biblical purists need not apply. Cool. I was not prepared for what was coming next.  

(White) Jonah is projected out of the whale and onto.....an island full of brown natives. These are nice natives (they give him a donkey and clothes!) but they're definitely presented as an "other". Ok...slightly perturbed but we can still recover.

S/N: Being surrounded by whale stomach acid for 3 days turned Jonah's hair from brown to boyband blonde. Seriously, it's in the script.

Jonah Timberlake rides up to the gates of the city full of "evil people with no good in their hearts" who live by the motto "For the honor of Ninevah NEVER SHOW MERCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" full of condensation general disgust. Hmm, I wonder what kind of evil no good people he'll find within the city limits? 

Black People. 

Brown People. 

People in shades darker than "HOA Beige" because of course brown people are ALWAYS THE PROBLEM amen. 

The king and queen of Ninevah (and their brown child) are the only major speaking roles portrayed by persons of color in this entire damn show.  

I'm pissed. I'm literally shaking. 

The Ninevites sing songs that are more gospel than musical theatre. I just shake my head.  

Honestly, don't ask me any of the finer plot points of this section because I was about 300% done by then. After Jonah's little vine dies I'm hoping they do an awkward curtain call and call it a day. Of course, you can't end the show on this wonderful (seriously, the moral is prophet or not- don't be an asshole) without having an appearance from the most important figure in American Christianity.

 White Jesus™ shows up. 

That's right folks! No longer relegated to the much shorter New Testament, White Jesus™ makes an appearance just in time to teach Jonah a lesson and then walk off, hair blowing in the breeze. 

If I had been any closer to an exit I would have walked out. They sing one last song in true curtain call form and then White Jesus™ makes another appearance just in time for the final pose. Then they do an abbreviated altar call. 

TL;DR White Jesus™ is white and colored folks are evil.

  • Upvote 6

5 Comments


Recommended Comments

WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

Posted (edited)

Just when I think my opinion of humanity's potential for stupidity and evil can't go any lower...

I'm sorry. That could never, ever be okay or excusable.

Edited by WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
purple_summer

Posted

@WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? I was honestly shocked. The show in general was really well done but that subliminal coding made me very uncomfortable. The theatre wasn't even full but there were several other black churches there with busloads of people.....

I'm just really disappointed.

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Grimalkin

Posted

     I admit I sometimes am slow to catch on to things like that, but that would make me uncomfortable. No that is not okay, ever. 

      

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Mela99

Posted (edited)

I'm just glad you at least got to go to Good N Plenty. I was thinking about their fried chicken the other day. And the bread . . . 

Also, I've never gotten something dedicated to me before!! <3 <3 <3 

Edited by Mela99
  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
ViolaSebastian

Posted

What in the hell? Clearly this was produced by the same people who brought us that anti-Semitic Christmas play. 

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Posts

    • Ozlsn

      Posted

      Ok, I am not going to say I haven't read the left leaning conspiracy theories about this shooting, even if I'm trying to hold off until we have more verified information.

      But I don't get where this "Biden sent the shooter" idiocy is coming from because seriously here? He has an actual job, with stuff to do etc. Now if you wanted me to believe Steve Bannon sent the shooter I would be more receptive, mostly because it's the kind of out there theory I can get behind.

    • Ozlsn

      Posted

      3 hours ago, Bassett Lady said:

      I don’t mind that they want to see people they love, but why the prevarication

      Doesn't fit in with the "we need a safe and stable home across the country " grifting theme. I don't think people would have donated as much if they knew there was a planned holiday in the middle, and I am wondering how many donors are now side-eyeing the hell out of them. Because that wasn't a small omission there, it was strongly implied that both flights were sequential and necessary to get to where they are planning to live.

      I swear if it turns out they've moved two suburbs away in Seattle... I will probably laugh. I doubt this is the case - why fly the cats? - but part of me is expecting to find out they've moved to Salem, Oregon, or Sacramento.

      • Upvote 1
    • noseybutt

      Posted

      It is possible for spouses and children of defendants in federal CSA/child porn cases to request (and receive) mental health services through the Federal Defender Victim/Witness programs. But the key detail is that it has to be requested and typically that happens in situations where the spouse is trying to separate/divorce from the offender.

      • Thank You 1
    • HumbleJillyMuffin

      Posted

      8 minutes ago, Bassett Lady said:

      “The discrimination was awful, and TSA held us up for over an hour and made us late for our first flight.”

      My husband flies with his mobility assistance gear all the time for work, including into and out of Seattle. He says their claim sounds like absolute rubbish. Every interaction he has had with the Seattle airport has been professional, swift,  and courteous. 
       

      Over the years he has used a  cane, walker, manual wheelchair and power chair. At every turn the Seattle airport has been kind and competent, 

      Well we all know how entitled Artemis is, no surprise they figured they could run late and the TSA line would part for them like the Red Sea in the Ten Commandments because they have mobility devices and cats. The "awful discrimination" was probably other people who told them to wait in line and the TSA staff probably reiterated that using mobility devices does not give them the right to expect special treatment. 

      • Upvote 1
      • I Agree 1
    • Coconut Flan

      Posted

      Counseling would come from a different court than the criminal court Josh was in.  It would only be ordered due to a CPS investigation.  



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.