On 4/27/2024 at 7:12 PM, Smash! said:

Have children at this age even the motor skills to do that? At this age children should be doing child stuff and not work

One of my kids could empty the dishwasher at 1.5 years old  Nothing was broken! I was amazed. At some point it wasn't fun anymore, stopped doing that and that mama lost her helper!. That same kid could make a bed since a very tender age and other quite difficult *chores* like cutting fruit in regular pieces. I suppose it's because good motor skills, in fact that kid is very good with mini legos, drawing, etc.

Little kids can do a lot of work, if they are trained (AKA beaten when got bored of it and don't want to do it anymore). That's why my kid isn't a maid, while Gemma will be a full time maid soon.

8 hours ago, NoseyNellie said:

Allison might be a nutjob in many areas but the tasks she posted about are absolutely great for littles!  

Squishing the bread is an amazing skill to build up fine motor skills, hand strength and gives great sensory input.  Why not bread dough?  Sure better smelling than the alternative which is play-doh.  

It is never too early to teach a kid to throw items into the trash can or put near the sink.  

allowing them to sort and put the NOT SHARP silverware away is a great sorting and matching skill.  

Allowing them to put plastic cups and dishes into the dishwasher is a great trouble shooting skill as they learn to align it on the spokes or between them.  

Letting them help with cooking and mixing foods is fun and not work.  scooping, mixing, pouring are all valuable skills.  

Shoot they are short- LET THEM reach into the dryer and pull out the items and put into the basket.  This is a gross motor skill using cross body action and lots of muscles.  This uses balance and coordination and strength skills.

Have them fold the washcloths and hand towels.  Sort socks into color piles and match the sizes.  

People write me checks every month to have my teachers do lots of these things with their kids it is called PRESCHOOL!~  They will never learn these skills if we do not start teaching them.  Decades ago, preschool was not a thing.. kids did all these things along side their parents.  Kids don't KNOW these skills authentically, they are learned skills and ability is improved over time through repetition.  

I think all these things are great when they are done FOR the child - introduced at an age appropriate time, frequency and taking into account young children’s attention span. This means, as @Ozlsn has aptly put it, that children are “helping” rather than helping, everything takes a lot longer and some tasks may not be accomplished at all. Which is fine when it is viewed as enrichment for the child, not with the main goal of getting everything done smoothly.

But the way she phrased it, it sounded like she is introducing actual chores at 1-2 years old, and no, this is not for the benefit of the child, it is to lighten her work load.

We do include our son in everyday household tasks. He loves helping, but when he feels like wandering off to play with his toy train or look at a book in the middle of a task, that’s fine as well. He is 3 years old, he doesn’t need to do “chores”.

I actually grew up with hardly any chores. I didn’t have to cook for the family or do my own laundry, ever, while still living at home. Heck, my mom even prepared the box with my breakfast to take to school until I graduated.

Did it leave me unable to take care of my own stuff when I moved out? Contrary to public opinion, no, it didn’t. It’s not such a big deal really. Moving out for me meant moving into a dorm for studying abroad. It meant from one day to the next, I not only had to navigate everyday chores (cooking, cleaning, laundry), but also keeping up with my workload at uni and getting along in a foreign country in another language. Honestly, turning on a washing machine or making some dinner was the easiest part!

I do not mean to look down on the effort of running a family. But you can turn out completely fine and self-sufficient as a (young) adult without having done all the chores from a young age. It isn’t all that hard. Especially when you move out on your own, it’s not like you have to run a 10 people household. It’s only yourself, you figure it out and learn and grow.

4 hours ago, Giraffe said:

Awww, that delusional thinking reminds me when Zsu told us she was going to have five children in her forties since she had five in her twenties and five in her thirties. She's up to what, one in her forties and she's mid-forty at this point. Yeah, sure Karrisa. Nothing hard about staying pregnant in your forties.
 

#itsnotthatcomplicated 🙄

The risk of having a disabled child increases in your 40s, too. I once looked into it because I had my first (and only) child in my mid/late 30s. And apparently the risk of miscarriage and genetic issues increases a lot the older you get.

For example, the chance of having a child with Down syndrome is about 1 in 1,250 for a woman who conceives at age 25. It increases to about 1 in 100 for a woman who conceives at age 40. And apparently 1 in 30 at age 45. I am not saying a child with Down syndrome is something bad, compared with many other genetic syndromes it is generally associated with a high quality of life and not too many limitations. But the risk of all kinds of genetic issues increases with the mom’s age, many of those not compatible with life.

So acting like a pregnancy in your 40s is easy-peasy, rejecting pre-natal checkups and attempting an unassisted home birth is careless and negligent. There’s a reason a lot more women and children die in childbirth in developing countries where home birth is still the norm for lack of access to medical care. 

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