I don't know what happened but suddenly my depression has disappeared. I'm looking forward to the future.
I have gone as far as starting an exercise program I found on YouTube. It's for people with mobility issues to get them moving forward. I've been able to do the first episode three times. Today I purchased some hand weights designed for walking but they will fit in my hands without exasperating my hand pain.
My t-shirt fit better this morning because I'm already tightening up in my upper body. My pants were too long so I know I'm moving forward. I did need to use my cane when walking to and from the courthouse, but overall I'm feeling stronger. I'm looking forward to doing the program tomorrow.
Keep at it.
Find a picture or pictures of bicycles. When I drop some weight I'm buying one! Mobility this winter in SoCal will be so much easier.
I've dove into Lori Alexander's world of twisted commandments. The one about a woman's duty is to have children, no matter her circumstances. Also, there is the horrible way she criticizes her dd who is childless.
I, too have a controlling and critical mother. At least my mother tries to put her own wants and needs aside on occasion. It was a tussle for her when I announced at not yet 30 that I would NEVER marry nor have children. Now I'm 50, still childless and I do not ever regret my decision on either choice. My choice between me, myself, and I. And it's a very healthy choice at that. To start with my mental health is not good and that is the tip of a ginormous iceberg. There was a point in time when a certain someone who would have made a decent sperm donor was available but I found I was not interested. When me and Mr Wild got together we decided not to marry or have children. It saddened me a bit, to be honest, but that was simply a healthy pause like when you leave a place you love to move on to more exciting things.
I am not writing this to prove anything but for the fact that I was feeling a bit sorry for her today. Then it occurred to me that she doesn't have a relationship with the only grandson she has and this makes me really sad that she is this much broken. She is widowed now and if not for my sibling with autism she would be all alone. Her life is so small. I live an interesting life and I often run across women who are her age that I've befriended and their lives are rich and full of adventure. I want so much more for myself.
Yesterday when orange Voldemort declared himself the chosen one I thought of sassy (movie) Harry Potter.
”She only likes you because she thinks you’re the chosen one!”
”But I am the chosen one.”
And then I hated myself for the comparison.