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Wild, Wandering, Wondering

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None and done

wild little fox

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I've dove into Lori Alexander's world of twisted commandments. The one about a woman's duty is to have children, no matter her circumstances. Also, there is the horrible way she criticizes her dd who is childless. 

I, too have a controlling and critical mother. At least my mother tries to put her own wants and needs aside on occasion. It was a tussle for her when I announced at not yet 30 that I would NEVER marry nor have children. Now I'm 50, still childless and I do not ever regret my decision on either choice. My choice between me, myself, and I. And it's a very healthy choice at that. To start with my mental health is not good and that is the tip of a ginormous iceberg. There was a point in time when a certain someone who would have made a decent sperm donor was available but I found I was not interested. When me and Mr Wild got together we decided not to marry or have children. It saddened me a bit, to be honest, but that was simply a healthy pause like when you leave a place you love to move on to more exciting things. 

I am not writing this to prove anything but for the fact that I was feeling a bit sorry for her today. Then it occurred to me that she doesn't have a relationship with the only grandson she has and this makes me really sad that she is this much broken. She is widowed now and if not for my sibling with autism she would be all alone. Her life is so small. I live an interesting life and I often run across women who are her age that I've befriended and their lives are rich and full of adventure. I want so much more for myself. 

 

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