So many of my FJ worlds are colliding right now I feel like my head is going to explode. Also the Transformed Wife that is misinformed, bored and lunatic Lori popped up in a group I follow on Facebook and I might have brought a couple of people here. I like to think of myself as a snark missionary.
Y'all, I wrote what I think is the funniest monologue I've written in three years of writing scripts consistently. Context is a twist on St George and the Slaying of the dragon, in which George is an old grumpy dragon befriended by three young fatherless dragons. George has just been asked by one of the young dragons if dragons ever eat people. Leading to
"Why do they always ask that? I pick up a child one time - one time - and suddenly, I'm a rampaging monster terrorizing villages for miles around. Before I know it, people down the road in Cyrene are telling a story about how they have to sacrifice one person every month to me so I'll stop eating people. And then they start telling the story of how a knight named George . . . I mean, that's my name. Like, really? You make a human the hero of the story and you give him my name? Unbelievable! That girl snuck out of her father's house in the middle of the night to go swimming with her friends. She got her foot stuck in some branches under water and she would have drowned if I hadn't come along. But nooooooo some human named George gets all the credit for saving the princess and (air quotes) "killing" me"
We moved to a beautiful apartment with the greatest view of the city, a huge bedroom, even bigger balcony and a freaking steal but... The noise from the Avenue is just too much. I guess I'll get used to it.