What made you turn to/away from religion?

[Juliakitty]

When I was 16 and my oldest friend came out to me, that got me to thinking about LOTS of stuff. :shock: However, I wasn't raised fundamentalist in the first place, so I was able to integrate the lots of stuff that triggered me into thinking about into the beliefs I already had.

[bouncyball]

For me it was realising as a little kid that the concept of Heaven that I had been taught was impossible. I realised you can't please everyone in life and neither can you do so in the supernatural. For example, what if a husband died, the wife fell in love and remarried, and the first husband still loved her and wanted to be with her in the afterlife? I'm terrible at explaining but basically as subjective beings we can't all have the same heaven, and if we did then it would either be at the expense of others or an illusion. The idea of living in an artificial fantasy world terrified me, and death seemed much preferable.

[Hane]

Cradle Catholic here, who came of age in the Vatican II years, when the Church was becoming more liberal and social justice issues were coming to the forefront. My family were liberal Catholics, and ecumenical in our viewpoint; we kids were raised to be open-minded about other religions, in large part because Dad had grown up Baptist. (He converted before he and Mom got married, partly because he found a warmth in Catholicism that he hadn't found in his church of origin, and partly because he believed a "gentleman" followed his wife's religion--even though Mom did not expect him to convert.)

I remember being at my Confirmation at age 12 or so, expecting a great big spiritual oomph and not getting one--thinking, "I'm not sure this is a real thing." In college one day, I mentioned having a lot of trouble believing in the virgin birth, and some closeted-seeming guy telling me I had no right to call myself a Catholic. I spent many years trying to believe in the reality of miracles and the resurrection, and wound up figuring they had symbolic value. I took comfort in having a spiritual home.

Lots of sexual guilt, though--Mom thought premarital virginity was a magic bullet that would protect girls from all evil. I was a dedicated Catholic, devoutly believing that we liberal, dissenting Catholics could make a difference in the Church. Ex-Mr.-Hane-#2 was vehemently anti-religion, and I stood firm in my beliefs and refused to cave to him.

In 1999, in a matter of months, I divorced Ex-Mr.-Hane-#2 and my mom died after a drawn-out illness. I was living on my own for the first time in my life. One Sunday, at Mass, the assistant pastor announced that he was leaving to be pastor of the adjacent parish. The congregation groaned, and he replied, "Well, that's reality--there aren't enough vocations to go around." It took all my strength not to stand up and yell, "If women could be ordained, we'd have priests coming out of our ears!" I had long believed in reproductive freedom, full female empowerment, and marriage equality, baking wedding cakes at cost or as gifts for gay couples.

In my mid-50s, I started attending the local UU, which I had visited occasionally when my daughter's high school friend became a member and their circle of friends attended youth group there. I found a small, close-knit congregation of diverse but respectful beliefs, with kind, smart people whose company I enjoy, and became a member. Around the same time, almost coincidentally, my daughter and her husband started attending their local UU, and their baby had a UU dedication ceremony.

My sisters are fairly accepting, one more than the other. Baby Sister, the New-Agey Catholic, who is staunchly Universalist in her beliefs, shrugs and says she thinks I'll always be a Catholic inside. (Yeah, culturally--and only in the good parts.) Her kids (ages 10 and 15) recently told me they felt sad I couldn't be their Confirmation sponsor--I told them I felt the same way. Middle Sister, who is more into Catholic Guilt, still tries to hook me into attending Mass with her whenever she can. Sigh. I think it would kill her if I told her I can no longer accept the virgin birth and resurrection as real.

[bellicosebroad]

I just couldn't do it. I was raised Lutheran and remember being really young (like six) when I began to question the premises that everyone was sinful no matter how good they tried to be, that this dude died on a cross to save us from our sins (but it didn't matter anyway, apparently, because I still had to be punished for and feel guilty about "sins" that OTHERS deemed were bad, not necessarily me), and that, seemingly, every little bit of pleasure was "bad" either because it was forbidden, not deserved, that I didn't feel grateful enough for it, etc. I did "twisty knot" mental gymnastics trying to figure it out until I was about 12, then just gave up and went through the motions until I was 16. At that point, confirmation and adulthood, at least in the church's eyes. Freedom!! Once I was an adult, I couldn't be forced to go to church anymore. Except for weddings and funerals, I haven't, more than 30 years later.

[19 dogs and counting]

I was very religious growing up going to an SDA school. When I was 9 my mom was diagnosed with cancer. While she was fighting her battle with cancer she got saved and my family became born-again. Gone were the happy days of just Jesus as now entered a world of people speaking in tongues and casting demons out of my mother and my family. My Mom died when I was 11 and even though I didn't specifically know it at the time, I lost my faith in God the day she died. I remember pleading with god ( I was a total Job) because it just didn't make sense to me that my loving god would do this to me. I stopped going to church the very next weekend after her death. I tried to return to church in my very early 20's because I really missed that sense of community but by that time it all felt really awkward and absurd.

[Black Aliss]

I was a skeptic from a very young age, maybe 5? But the last straw was getting molested by the church music director.

[wtfrenchtoast]

I never was particularly into Christianity. My mom took me to a Baptist church, my grandma took me to a Catholic one, but aside from the fun games in Sunday school and stuff, it never really made an impression on me. At some point I did believe in God, I remember making promises to him to not do bad things and being scared of hell. I'm not exactly sure when I came out to myself as an atheist. But I can definitely tell you some of the reasons why I could never be a Christian. For one, it sounds like an abusive relationship, like the graphic showed. I can't imagine a "loving" God would send people to hell for eternity. And if he's real and that's how he operates, I do not at all want to worship him, plain and simple. It's sadistic.

Also, I'm pretty much a literalist when it comes to books and such. I always hated analyzing literature in my English classes. I was of the opinion that authors should just write what they mean. All the "the tree symbolizes life and struggle blah blah blah" just got on my nerves. So if I were to turn to Christianity, I would be a biblical literalist, and that does not fly with me, considering some of what the Bible advocates.

[thoughtful]

My early view and experience of religion was highly influenced by my Mom's gentleness (which extends to her practice of Judaism), and adoring the cantor in our synagogue and any opportunity to sing. Things were pretty benign, joyous, and occasionally progressive in our congregation.

I was pretty caught up in that particular Jewish life, and there was nothing, early on (and very little, even later) to turn me away from it. And I did believe in God when I was a child.

At some point, I just realized that I didn't believe in miracles, then in any sort of supernatural being. Atheism just makes sense to me, and belief does not.

It was tremendously freeing. Even though I didn't grow up with anybody preaching bigotry, oppression of women, or hellfire and damnation at me, trying to believe was still more of a burden than a comfort. It feels dishonest and artificial to me.

Edited for punctuation

[muffynbear]

It was tremendously freeing. Even though I didn't grow up with anybody preaching bigotry, oppression of women, or hellfire and damnation at me. trying to believe was still more of a burden than a comfort. It feels dishonest and artificial to me.

I agree. Not believing is much more freeing. Religion was a burden in my life. It didn't help me at all. I find myself a better person without it, because I'm only trying to be a better person for myself and those around me rather for some imaginary man in the sky. The constant threat of hell and sin doesn't bother me anymore.

I can be a good person without religion.