A good find written by Lyndsie's mom: How many is too many?

[WonderingInWA]

A lovely article about having babies written by the ever-articulate mother of Lyndsie (Lazy):

http://aboverubies.org/articles/english ... s-too-many

[Sprocket]

If Elle was still around, she'd be all over this post about C-Sections.

[aubrietta]

Gag. I must say, I'm pretty tempted to write up my birth stories, (which are somewhat dramatic and involve medical rarities, and the ubiquitous "false positive" for Downs Syndrome) and pepper them liberally with the words "little blessings" and some scriptures and testaments to "God's faithfulness" and submit them to Above Rubies for the LOLs.

[WonderingInWA]

Gag. I must say, I'm pretty tempted to write up my birth stories, (which are somewhat dramatic and involve medical rarities, and the ubiquitous "false positive" for Downs Syndrome) and pepper them liberally with the words "little blessings" and some scriptures and testaments to "God's faithfulness" and submit them to Above Rubies for the LOLs.

Oh, we all should! Fun idea! The writing style and subject matter in this piece just confirmed to me that Lazy's mom doesn't have a lot of brain power going on inside her head and she seems to have passed that down to her first-born rather successfully.

[redcurls]

At the very bottom of the article, they mention the infamous failed Aubrey Ann adoption. Has Lyndsie's mom given birth to any more children since then? Somehow I don't get the impression that Lyndsie would enjoy a Josie/MacKynzie scenario. It's HER turn to play mommy and darnit, no one is going to take that attention away from her!

[luckystone]

At the very bottom of the article, they mention the infamous failed Aubrey Ann adoption. Has Lyndsie's mom given birth to any more children since then? Somehow I don't get the impression that Lyndsie would enjoy a Josie/MacKynzie scenario. It's HER turn to play mommy and darnit, no one is going to take that attention away from her!

What happened with the adoption? I couldn't find an article on the site.

[Haligh the Liar]

I don't mind Lyndsie as much as other fundies- while it's tempting to like her based on her looks, I think her looks illustrate how she is far closer to normal:

-she wears regular clothes and makeup, regardless of current fundie 'modesty'

-she chose her own husband when she wanted to

-Daniel went to college and has a real job; Lyndsie also worked prior to marriage and still sells cosmetics, giving me hope that Ethan and Aubrey will be allowed to go to school if they wish

-She has fun, friends, and family that she really seems to enjoy

This puts her far ahead of the Duggars, Maxwells, Dougie, the Bradricks, etc.

[redcurls]

What happened with the adoption? I couldn't find an article on the site.

As best as I can remember, since I was lurking at the time...

Lyndsie and Daniel found a potential birth mother, called the baby girl Aubrey Ann, and then the adoption fell through. Lyndsie and Daniel had an elaborate baby shower and beachside photoshoot with ultrasound pictures of the child. The possibility that the adoption wouldn't go through wasn't ever really acknowledged. The birth mother's role was basically ignored; this was THEIR baby. I think the birth mother came over to the Yuku site and explained that she felt eliminated from the whole process, and that was why she chose another couple.

Feel free to add/correct anything!

[lilwriter85]

I also kind of remember the birth mom of Aubrey Ann said something that she didn't like how Lyndsie or Daniel responded to a question that she asked them.

I do find it weird that Melanie's article had to contain a small blurb about Lyndsie not being able to have kids.

[lilwriter85]

I don't mind Lyndsie as much as other fundies- while it's tempting to like her based on her looks, I think her looks illustrate how she is far closer to normal:

-she wears regular clothes and makeup, regardless of current fundie 'modesty'

-she chose her own husband when she wanted to

-Daniel went to college and has a real job; Lyndsie also worked prior to marriage and still sells cosmetics, giving me hope that Ethan and Aubrey will be allowed to go to school if they wish

-She has fun, friends, and family that she really seems to enjoy

This puts her far ahead of the Duggars, Maxwells, Dougie, the Bradricks, etc.

In some ways I don't mind Lydnsie and Daniel. I would take metrosexual Daniel any day over a major douche like Josh Duggar. Lyndsie has a lot of freedom compared to the Maxwell wives and she has more freedom than the Duggar girls.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I don't mind Lyndsie as much as other fundies- while it's tempting to like her based on her looks, I think her looks illustrate how she is far closer to normal:

-she wears regular clothes and makeup, regardless of current fundie 'modesty'

-she chose her own husband when she wanted to

-Daniel went to college and has a real job; Lyndsie also worked prior to marriage and still sells cosmetics, giving me hope that Ethan and Aubrey will be allowed to go to school if they wish

-She has fun, friends, and family that she really seems to enjoy

This puts her far ahead of the Duggars, Maxwells, Dougie, the Bradricks, etc.

I don't follow Lyndsie, but there is nothing "normal" about her mother's article here. She is explicitly telling women that they should ignore their doctors and put their lives at risk. In doing so, she is suggesting that those of us (like yours truly) who choose NOT to risk our lives are somehow lacking in faith. She's also engaging in the "pray away the medical problem" bullshit, which again promotes shaming of those who do go through medical issues by suggesting that it's just a matter of not praying enough

[lilwriter85]

I don't follow Lyndsie, but there is nothing "normal" about her mother's article here. She is explicitly telling women that they should ignore their doctors and put their lives at risk. In doing so, she is suggesting that those of us (like yours truly) who choose NOT to risk our lives are somehow lacking in faith. She's also engaging in the "pray away the medical problem" bullshit, which again promotes shaming of those who do go through medical issues by suggesting that it's just a matter of not praying enough

I agree there is nothing normal on the mom's article. Melanie does have the same dangerous views on childbirth and motherhood that Michelle Duggar has. Outside of the views on childbirth, pregnancy, and risks, Melanie, Lyndsie and their family are a bit more normal than the more hardcore fundies.

[kb2]

My uterus was no thinner than it had been and remained strong to hold these little blessings.

Her uterus was described as being thin as saran wrap. Of course it didn't get thinner--it can't get thinner than that! It'll either hold or it won't. I really hope she's reached menopause.

It is also really weird that she points out her child's being infertile. Maybe it was supposed to point out how super shepshul creating offspring is--that some people are infertile so you should be grateful if you're able to risk your life to do it? But that's kind of mean towards her daughter, "Look at this thing I can do that is the only thing that gives my life meaning and you can't do it!"

[slickcat79]

I labored for 12 hours and never progressed passed a fingertip. Her heart rate was dropping and my doctor suggested a c-section. At 22 I was young and uneducated about medical practices and agreed to go ahead.

:shock: I love how she sounds like being "young and uneducated" was the only reason she chose a c-section in this case. When your baby's heart rate drops and you're still hours away from delivery, you need to make the choice that's not going to kill the baby that you want so much. She doesn't have to be apologetic about it, even though I'm sure the Above Rubies readers are judging the hell out of her anyway.

[Bloo]

How many is too many? Whatever number causes your uterus to be compared unfavorably with saran wrap. There you go. Question answered.

[library_youth]

Has Lyndsie's mom given birth to any more children since then? Somehow I don't get the impression that Lyndsie would enjoy a Josie/MacKynzie scenario. It's HER turn to play mommy and darnit, no one is going to take that attention away from her!

I'm pretty sure there haven't been any more kids since Ellyn. If her mom ever got pregnant again, I'm sure it would at least get a passing mention on Lyndsie's FB page.

[lilwriter85]

I don't think Lyndsie's mom will have more kids and I get the feeling that she is now focused on being a grandmother.

[kb2]

:shock: I love how she sounds like being "young and uneducated" was the only reason she chose a c-section in this case. When your baby's heart rate drops and you're still hours away from delivery, you need to make the choice that's not going to kill the baby that you want so much. She doesn't have to be apologetic about it, even though I'm sure the Above Rubies readers are judging the hell out of her anyway.

Birth is a natural process, and the baby's heart was only dropping because she was given induction medication in order to start the cascade of interventions. Clearly what happened was the OB used the meds to scare her into an unnecessarian because he wanted to get to a golf game, because >12 hours after coming to the hospital for a scheduled induction isn't going to be dinner time or after the golf course closes or anything. He obviously just wanted things on his schedule, which includes doing an emergency C-section until ten o'clock at night, because that's convenient. If she hadn't been so uninformed, she would have known that most babies survive going post-dates, so statistically speaking chances are God would have killed someone else's baby and she should have waited longer to go into labor on her own. /crazytown

(I have read SO MUCH of the crazy internet about childbirth.)

[2xx1xy1JD]

I'm sure this is a stupid Fundie 101 type of question - but how on earth is a person supposed to know that it's G-d that's actually communicating with them/changing their heart, and that it's not just their own thoughts or longings?

I mean, risking your life is a pretty extreme action. She's not citing a specific biblical passage here to say that it's an actual commandment. Is it common to put your life on the line over a hunch or a feeling that G-d's talking to you?

[pfamilygal]

I used to go to the AR retreats.

Got a crap-ton of disapproval from friends when we decided (after a partial uterine rupture) that 4 WAS enough c-sections.

Oh well, my hands are quite full with six.

[constantgardener]

I'm sure this is a stupid Fundie 101 type of question - but how on earth is a person supposed to know that it's G-d that's actually communicating with them/changing their heart, and that it's not just their own thoughts or longings?

I mean, risking your life is a pretty extreme action. She's not citing a specific biblical passage here to say that it's an actual commandment. Is it common to put your life on the line over a hunch or a feeling that G-d's talking to you?

I honestly believe the answer is that they don't know that God is talking to them. I think they listen to their own thoughts, pick out the one that suits them best, then convince themselves that God laid it on their hearts to do X, Y or Z. I seem to remember one of Zsu's blog-followers asked her how she knew prayer worked - did she hear God replying to her? And she answered something along the lines of no, she didn't hear God, she just watched to see what happened after she prayed about something, to see what his response was.

Either that or they genuinely believe that there is no difference between their own 'thoughts and longings' and God's, because God puts all their thoughts there in the first place. It is possible to twist any thought or desire to make out that it's God's will and link it back to the Bible somehow. Putting your life in danger allows you to be a martyr to God's cause.

[aubrietta]

I used to go to the AR retreats.

Got a crap-ton of disapproval from friends when we decided (after a partial uterine rupture) that 4 WAS enough c-sections.

Oh well, my hands are quite full with six.

I really want to sneak into an AR retreat. There was one not far from me, but my husband was working that weekend and couldn't get it off. Maybe next year, and I can live-blog it for FJ. I'll probably need another FJer to come with me for (im)moral support

[adidas]

I don't follow Lyndsie, but there is nothing "normal" about her mother's article here. She is explicitly telling women that they should ignore their doctors and put their lives at risk. In doing so, she is suggesting that those of us (like yours truly) who choose NOT to risk our lives are somehow lacking in faith. She's also engaging in the "pray away the medical problem" bullshit, which again promotes shaming of those who do go through medical issues by suggesting that it's just a matter of not praying enough

I wonder if Lyndsie was told to pray her cancer away? Obviously she didn't take that advice (thank goodness) but I have to wonder if it was suggested to her.

[lilwriter85]

I wonder if Lyndsie was told to pray her cancer away? Obviously she didn't take that advice (thank goodness) but I have to wonder if it was suggested to her.

I wouldn't be surprised if someone in Lyndsie's circles did tell her to pray the cancer away. Lyndsie is a fundie lite and usually fundie lites will seek medical treatment unlike crazy hardcore fundies like ZsuZsu.

[ElphabaGalinda]

Her uterus was described as being thin as saran wrap. Of course it didn't get thinner--it can't get thinner than that! It'll either hold or it won't. I really hope she's reached menopause.

It is also really weird that she points out her child's being infertile. Maybe it was supposed to point out how super shepshul creating offspring is--that some people are infertile so you should be grateful if you're able to risk your life to do it? But that's kind of mean towards her daughter, "Look at this thing I can do that is the only thing that gives my life meaning and you can't do it!"

She probably does use her daughter's infertility as an example in some way or another, or else why mention it? I could see her, based on that article, saying my daughter Lyndsie would LOVE to risk her life having eleventy billion kids , but she can't. So since God made it that you can, you have to! Though with a mother like that, maybe it's a good thing Lyndsie can't have biological children. If she could, her mother would probably try to convince her to have as many as possible, no matter how medically dangerous.