Texas GOP Party-Eyerolls highlighted for your enjoyment

[mystweaver]

Hive, from the party that brought you GWBush and Rick Perry, I present for your appraisal the 2012 party platform of the Texas GOP.

Thanks to freejinger.org/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=11225 for bringing up this treasure trove of 'What are they smoking' for tonight's entertainment.

In addition to the above-mentioned "no thoughts for you" section, I offer some select gems.

Affirmative Action - Inasmuch as the Civil Rights Movement argued against using race as a factor in American life, affirmative action reintroduces race as a divisive force in American life. The Republican Party of Texas believes in equal opportunity for all citizens without regard to race or gender. To that end, we oppose affirmative action.

Reparations - We oppose any form of reparation.

“Sucks to be a minority now, and sucks to be one then. We've decided it's not our problem, so tough cookies for you.â€

Protection from Extreme Environmentalists – We strongly oppose all efforts of the extreme environmental groups that stymie legitimate business interests. We strongly oppose those efforts that attempt to use the environmental causes to purposefully disrupt and stop those interests within the oil and gas industry. We strongly support the immediate repeal of the Endangered Species Act. We strongly oppose the listing of the dune sage brush lizard either as a threatened or an endangered species. We believe the Environmental Protection Agency should be abolished.

Clean air and water is overrated. Give us the green already, and not Nader's green.

Family Values ― We support the affirmation of traditional Judeo-Christian family values and oppose the continued assault on those values.

Supporting Motherhood ― We strongly support women who choose to devote their lives to their families and raising their children. We recognize their sacrifice and deplore the liberal assault on the family.

Will the gaytheist democrats quit picking on June Cleaver already?

Homosexuality ― We affirm that the practice of homosexuality tears at the fabric of society and contributes to the breakdown of the family unit. Homosexual behavior is contrary to the fundamental, unchanging truths that have been ordained by God, recognized by our country’s founders, and shared by the majority of Texans. Homosexuality must not be presented as an acceptable “alternative†lifestyle, in public policy, nor should “family†be redefined to include homosexual “couples.†We believe there should be no granting of special legal entitlements or creation of special status for homosexual behavior, regardless of state of origin. Additionally, we oppose any criminal or civil penalties against those who oppose homosexuality out of faith, conviction or belief in traditional values.

:shock:

U.S. Department of Education – Since education is not an enumerated power of the federal government, we believe the Department of Education (DOE) should be abolished.

Our education board will hand out brainwashing and spankings well enough without oversight, thank you very much.

Gestational Contracts - We believe rental of a woman’s womb makes child bearing a mere commodity to the highest bidder and petition the Legislature to rescind House Bill 724 of the 78th Legislature. We support the adoption of human embryos and the banning of human embryo trafficking.

But we're totally cool with forced occupation and no payment, guys! :roll:

American Identity Patriotism and Loyalty – We believe the current teaching of a multicultural curriculum is divisive. We favor strengthening our common American identity and loyalty instead of political correctness that nurtures alienation among racial and ethnic groups. Students should pledge allegiance to the American and Texas flags daily to instill patriotism.

Good USian nationalism has been waning a bit, hasn't it? Daily brainwashing will fix it.

Electronic Privacy – We believe all law-abiding citizens should be free from government surveillance of their electronic communications except in cases directly involving national security, by court order. Except for noncitizens, we further oppose any national ID program, including the Real ID Act and the use of Radio Frequency Identification Chips (RFID) on humans.

Big Brother is bad, unless yer's not from around these parts.

Equality of All Citizens – We deplore all discrimination. We also deplore forced sensitivity training and urge repeal of any mandate requiring it. We urge immediate repeal of the Hate Crimes Law. Until the Hate Crimes Law is totally repealed, we urge the Legislature to immediately remove the education curriculum mandate and the sexual orientation category in said Law.

How dare you discriminate against our two minutes of hate?

Unborn Victims of Violence – We believe a person who injures or kills an unborn child should be subject to criminal and civil litigation.

But remember, womb rental is not cool, and the government better not interfere with our legal right to hurt the born children. :naughty:

U.S. Department of Energy – We support the elimination of the Department of Energy.

:doh:

Israel – We believe that the United States and Israel share a special long-standing relationship based on shared values, a mutual commitment to a republican form of government, and a strategic alliance that benefits both nations. Our foreign policy with Israel should reflect the special nature of this relationship through continued military and economic assistance and recognition that Jerusalem is the capital of Israel and should remain an undivided city accessible to people of all faiths. We believe that the US Embassy should be located in Jerusalem. In our diplomatic dealings with Israel, we encourage the continuation of peace talks between Israel and the Palestinians, but oppose pressuring Israel to make concessions it believes would jeopardize its security, including the trading of land for the recognition of its right to exist. We call on the U.S. to cease strong arming Israel through prior agreements with the understanding of delivering equipment to them to defend themselves in exchange for future diplomatic concessions, such as giving up land to the Palestinians on the West Bank. We support the continuation of non-recognition of terrorist nations and organizations. Our policy is based on God’s biblical promise to bless those who bless Israel and curse those who curse Israel and we further invite other nations and organizations to enjoy the benefits of that promise.

Don't you wish you were as rich as us? It's because we like Israel, don'tchyaknow? :shifty:

Texas provided many more gems, but my eyeballs can't handle much more rolling tonight.

[doggie]

all intelligent life has fled Texas.

lets place some toxic dumps next to their houses. What your kid was born with three eyes? well it's what you wanted.

[CanadianHippie]

I wouldn't generalize to all of Texas, but there does appear to be a larger population of an extreme form of stupid than average.

[VintageJen1984]

all intelligent life has fled Texas.

lets place some toxic dumps next to their houses. What your kid was born with three eyes? well it's what you wanted.

LOL the home of oil and plants everywhere have enough toxicity already thankyouverymuch. that's probably part of the problem. Too much pollution to properly think.

Guess what TX, you can't stop me from surrogacy some day. I'll just move for a year. Boo freaking hoo.

I have lived here forever. I am not one of those "woo TX is awesome all other states suck!" people, I find that attitude pretty ridiculous. I am, unfortunately one of those "woo Houston is awesome all other cities in the US wish they were this awesome!" people, so I don't know if I could leave Houston forever, even though I want to live in other countries for a while.

That being said, this bi girl and all her LGBT friends think you need to step off.

[flojo]

I read the democrat platform for Texas. One of the most sane, sensible, good documents I've read in a while.

[Peas n carrots]

I go to Texas a lot on business (just got back yesterday on a trip to Houston/Dallas). It's a interesting place....Texas was barely affects by the economic downturn. The amount of disposable income people have amazes me...I go into a mall on a Monday morning and it is packed. It seems damn near everyone drives an SUV, and construction everywhere.

I can't help but to think that this wealth is coming off the backs of the immigrant workers to the state. My boss, who used to live in Dallas pointed out that the Dallas ISD have a below 75% graduation rate? If you can afford to say send your kids to private school. Guess who make up the majority of students in the public schools.

The bubble can only last for so long, IMHO.

[alba]

"The liberal assault on the family"? Seriously? Now they're just deliberately making this an "us vs. them" issue. I can't think of a single liberal-minded individual I know who outright believes women shouldn't be stay-at-home-mothers. Most of the ones I know, feminists and non-feminists alike, just believe that women have the right to financial independence and that all parents have the right to choose whether working or staying at home is best for their families.

The difference isn't that we're waging war on the "family" (which isn't an unchanging entity itself), it's that we don't try to force women into our own ideals for their lives.

I really wouldn't want to be a woman in Texas right now.

[slickcat79]

Supporting Motherhood ― We strongly support women who choose to devote their lives to their families and raising their children. We recognize their sacrifice and deplore the liberal assault on the family.

Sure, we support them. Not enough to enact government programs that would entitle them to more family/medical leave or additional money to help raise those children, but some kind of nebulous "support". Oh, and if they are not part of a traditional family unit and married to the father of their children, we offer them no support at all.

Electronic Privacy – We believe all law-abiding citizens should be free from government surveillance of their electronic communications except in cases directly involving national security, by court order. Except for noncitizens, we further oppose any national ID program, including the Real ID Act and the use of Radio Frequency Identification Chips (RFID) on humans.

But the Patriot Act is fine. That totally and completely fits within that "national security" loophole, you betcha!

[TinyDancer87]

Additionally, we oppose any criminal or civil penalties against those who oppose homosexuality out of faith, conviction or belief in traditional values.

Unborn Victims of Violence – We believe a person who injures or kills an unborn child should be subject to criminal and civil litigation.

Okay, how is this not COMPLETELY contradictory? If you injure a gay man because it's against your faith that he's gay, it's okay-- BUT it's not okay to injure something that hasn't been born yet? I'm pretty sure that Jesus did not endorse that. At all.

Reading this, I am shocked that these people would call themselves Christian! These are horrible things to say.

For the record, I live in Texas, and I'm not bat-shit crazy. I like the Department of Energy, and I like people- gay or straight, minority or majority, and I like taking care of the enviroment because I want my hypothetical children to live in a safe world.

[quinoa]

To be sure these are extreme positions. However, the vast majority of Texans have no idea what details are included in their state party platforms. I'm willing to bet that this is the same in every other state in the union. It's not fair to assume that Texans in general endorse all of these views. We have plenty of people happily residing in diverse, tolerant cities.

[Childless]

Yeah, glad I don't live in Texas. I can barely stand my less red (but still to red) state.

[deelaem]

Well, I suppose they deserve some props for being totally upfront about their white conservative Christian agenda. They seem happy to tell you exactly how they'll marginalize you if you're not one of them. And yet they abhor Muslim extremism...hrmmm....

[FrauGringa]

Supporting Motherhood ― We strongly support women who choose to devote their lives to their families and raising their children. We recognize their sacrifice and deplore the liberal assault on the family.

Awesome! Good to know that as a devoted (liberal) mother I'm assaulting my family. :roll:

It really boggles my mind that Rick Perry has been in office for as long as he has. Deep down, I really hope he's just been trolling us this whole time.

That's all from this Texan for now. I was starting to think a bit too critically about conservative politics, and well, we all know what happens when we start using our critical thinking skills...

[B5SnowDog]

It really boggles my mind that Rick Perry has been in office for as long as he has. Deep down, I really hope he's just been trolling us this whole time.

Here's what gets me about Gov. Goodhair - I haven't met one person who actually likes the guy but he keeps getting re-elected. Even my diehard Republican family members can't stand him but they keep voting for him. I guess they just can't bring themselves to vote for a Democrat.

[DistantStar]

I think that happens a lot, B5SnowDog -- a coworker of mine (here in the even redder, but much more thinly populated, state of Idaho) thinks our recently re-elected governor is a fucking moron. But I just know she voted for him anyway because of that R on the ballot. She thinks if you're not a hardline Republican you're an eeeeebil socialist. And Idaho has the most conservative Dems I've ever heard of, on the few occasions I've ever heard of any outside this one county (seriously, look for one of the county-by-color maps of the US, it's a sea of red mostly with us right in the middle) getting elected! I haven't told her how close I really am to being a socialist, I don't want to either start a war or give her a heart attack. I got a minor concession out of her the other day (she started it!) about insurance companies not being able to refuse you for pre-existing conditions being a good thing. I'm quite proud of myself for that one.

I have family roots in Texas on my mother's side. I lived there for a good chunk of my youth. And once I left and went back to visit...I just didn't get it. Though I wish I'd paid more attention in my seventh-grade Texas history class, at least to get the highlights to know what to read up on later from a less biased perspective; Texas has a pretty eventful history.

I miss Ann Richards.

[Bloo]

There are some posters on another board I frequent who are from other parts of the world- mostly Great Britain and Australia. They mention this or that "conservative" policy. Then someone brings up the Texas GOP, and we all pause and silently weep for humanity.

[Glass Cowcatcher]

Please get me out of here.

[Gizmola]

My mom is from Oklahoma. Oklahomans hate Texans; it's in our genes. I knew I came from good stock. Fuck them.

(if you're a liberal, feminist in Texas, then you're off my list. We invite you to emigrate to Oklahoma. At least to our tiny town of Democrats.)

[Glass Cowcatcher]

My mom is from Oklahoma. Oklahomans hate Texans; it's in our genes. I knew I came from good stock. Fuck them.

(if you're a liberal, feminist in Texas, then you're off my list. We invite you to emigrate to Oklahoma. At least to our tiny town of Democrats.)

Fuck you too.

Sorry, that was my genes speaking there... :D

[DistantStar]

And if you like mountains and can handle winter, there are three nice towns in this valley I'd recommend. We have much better scenery than Texas. Though no bluebonnets. There are relatives of them around, but I honestly miss fields of bluebonnets...

[Guest Anonymous]

Please get me out of here.

I'd say you could come to my place, but it would be a frying pan/fire situation I'm afraid. We're not any better.

[Glass Cowcatcher]

And if you like mountains and can handle winter, there are three nice towns in this valley I'd recommend. We have much better scenery than Texas. Though no bluebonnets. There are relatives of them around, but I honestly miss fields of bluebonnets...

I lived in a mountainy area briefly. It actually started to mess with my head, not being able to see the horizon.

[Gizmola]

Gizmola wrote:

Fuck you too.

Sorry, that was my genes speaking there...

Let's not fight. I have Grey Goose and 500 acres in Oklahoma. We'll take the good Texans, kick out the bad Oklahomans and start our own state based on feminism, snark and cake!

[DistantStar]

After living here for five years, being somewhere where I can see the horizon freaks me out a bit. I feel all safe and tucked in up here, expecially when it's snowing.

We are very lucky to have such varied choices of geography on this continent, aren't we?

[Glass Cowcatcher]

After living here for five years, being somewhere where I can see the horizon freaks me out a bit. I feel all safe and tucked in up here, expecially when it's snowing.

We are very lucky to have such varied choices of geography on this continent, aren't we?

I heard a Californian transplant say the same thing about living here. She was used to navigating by thinking "ocean on one side, mountains on the other."