Contradictions in the Duggars lives?

[TheSassyOne]

Looking at other threads and watching a few episodes on Youtube over the weekend, I started to think about the contradictions that I had noticed in the Duggars lives. Now we probably all have them, but we don't all go on television and publish books decrying a certain lifestyle, while possibly not quite always living out that lifestyle.

 

Here's a few things that I've noticed. Can anyone else think of anymore?

 

* Watching "Driving Miss Duggars", when the girls found a few moldy bowls of food in the house on their return from Little Rock, one of them was asked if she was surprised that JD or Joseph hadn't thrown it away and her response was, "no, they're boys, they're not supposed to clean". Ok, besides that response causing my eyes to roll, it made me think though about their jurisdictions. All the kids have chores, so yes the guys are expected to clean, so why the heck couldn't they have thrown out the moldy onions? Is it because the bowl was in the kitchen and that area is considered just for a woman?

 

* Women are supposed to do the cooking but haven't some of the boys showed an interest in cooking and putting together meals/food? Heck, cooking oatmeal qualifies as a meal to me, so is that a contradiction and breaking down the system that ATI has set out for a traditional family?

 

* Obviously the clothing has changed (I've thankful for the kids for that). Obviously the money from TLC and from the books have allowed the family to live comfortably, yet Jim Bob still acts as though they're in the same financial area we found them in five years ago. Why not simply admit their family is doing well and can afford a few better things in life instead of acting like they are still penny pinching?

 

* I'm not sure if this is as much of a contradiction as a concern. I noticed in the very first special that was aired, three of the kids (2 of the girls, 1 of the boys) wanted to be a chef, a nurse and an artist. I wonder if these goals are still attainable for any of these Duggars? I think it was either Jessa or Jinger who wanted to be the Chef, so I think Jim Bob would say NO to that in a NY minute. I can't remember which one of the boys wanted to be the artist, but I don't see that being encouraged as a career choice either. I guess if they really believe God calls us to our vocation in life, then aren't they contradicting God's will by going against what will make their children the happiest in life?

 

That's all for now, I'll think of more later.

[forever ago]

1. It could be that the guys simply don't like to clean and let's face it, even in the 'mainstream' it wouldn't be too surprising that a guy would ignore moldy onions.

2. I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that JimBob and Michelle teach their kids to do both "men's work" and "women's work." My grandmother in the 1950s taught my dad how to sew and cook and clean for himself since, in her words, "you won't always have a wife or a mother to do this for you." The guys probably do know how to cook, for themselves at least, since Michelle/other Mrs. Duggars won't be around for them forever.

3. It's still tough to take care of 19 kids. I mean really, they built an enormous house, and now they have to pay the bills on that thing (electric, water, heat, etc.) not to mention feed them, pay the phone/internet bill, and buy whatever else they may need. Also, old habits die hard- my parents are doing pretty well now but both came from poor families. Even when you're raking in the dough it's still not a bad thing to try and cut costs somewhere.

4. Yeah, that's a bit of a contradiction, and it's BS that none of those kids are allowed to pick career choices for themselves. The boys have to do what their father does and the girls have to be pregnant housewives. To make things worse, you have to go to school to be a chef or a nurse, and they don't believe in college education either. WTF.

[dormouse]

1. It could be that the guys simply don't like to clean and let's face it, even in the 'mainstream' it wouldn't be too surprising that a guy would ignore moldy onions.

Yes, my husband's former roommate would totally do that. He doesn't even keep his utensils in drawers, but on his kitchen counter.

[keeperrox]

* Obviously the clothing has changed (I've thankful for the kids for that). Obviously the money from TLC and from the books have allowed the family to live comfortably, yet Jim Bob still acts as though they're in the same financial area we found them in five years ago. Why not simply admit their family is doing well and can afford a few better things in life instead of acting like they are still penny pinching?

I don't fault them for this one. My husband and I joke that if we were to win the lottery (well, we'd have to play first and we don't , but that's not the point) we'd build the house of our dreams, create trusts for future kids, put the rest in savings or secure investments, and then continue living our lives the same way we do now. We're happy with how we live our lives, and I think Boob is, too. He was perfectly content when there were 14 kids in the little bungalow of a house and there certainly wasn't a fire under his ass to get the big house finished. Sure, they have more money now, but it doesn't mean they have to spend it on stuff they don't think they need.

[Guest LilaFowler]

I wish Jim Bob would buy the children proper shoes.

[slickcat79]

I don't fault them for this one. My husband and I joke that if we were to win the lottery (well, we'd have to play first and we don't , but that's not the point) we'd build the house of our dreams, create trusts for future kids, put the rest in savings or secure investments, and then continue living our lives the same way we do now. We're happy with how we live our lives, and I think Boob is, too. He was perfectly content when there were 14 kids in the little bungalow of a house and there certainly wasn't a fire under his ass to get the big house finished. Sure, they have more money now, but it doesn't mean they have to spend it on stuff they don't think they need.

I don't think it's a matter of just spending money indiscriminately on useless stuff, it's the fact that they DO buy a lot of new and better things while still insisting that they "buy used and save the difference". They were able to rent a large historic home for 6 months in LR while Josie was in the hospital. That's fine if you really want to have the family together, but most parents of a critically ill child would not have that luxury. They went to an ATI conference last year with 3 shiny matching ATVs on their trailer. Hannie was wearing gymboree pajamas from last winter's collection at christmas time last year, so it would have been very surprising to find that at a thrift store. It's only this season that the older girls have admitted to doing some of their shopping online and getting clearance buys because it was getting ridiculous to think that ALL of their clothes were still purchased secondhand.

I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that JimBob and Michelle teach their kids to do both "men's work" and "women's work." My grandmother in the 1950s taught my dad how to sew and cook and clean for himself since, in her words, "you won't always have a wife or a mother to do this for you." The guys probably do know how to cook, for themselves at least, since Michelle/other Mrs. Duggars won't be around for them forever.

They may say that they teach all jobs to all their kids, but I've never seen real evidence of that. They had one episode where they "switched jurisdictions" so that the boys could do girls' work and the girls could do what the boys usually do. It was a big deal, obviously not something that they do on a regular basis, and I don't think it's been repeated. There is some overlap; the older girls have some construction skills from working on the tinker toy house, but most of that work was done by Josh and JD while the girls were in charge of cooking meals. We know that Josiah can cook bacon, but that's the only thing we saw him make for breakfast for 3 boys. JD seems to be living on his own, so he may have some homemaking skills, but we don't know how much time he spends at the Duggar compound, if he does his own laundry or brings it home, if he joins the family for meals, etc. I really do think the Duggars expect a woman to be around to take care of their boys' homes at least 95% of the time. Josh certainly didn't spend much time on his own (if any) before marrying Anna.

[O Latin]

* Watching "Driving Miss Duggars", when the girls found a few moldy bowls of food in the house on their return from Little Rock, one of them was asked if she was surprised that JD or Joseph hadn't thrown it away and her response was, "no, they're boys, they're not supposed to clean". Ok, besides that response causing my eyes to roll, it made me think though about their jurisdictions. All the kids have chores, so yes the guys are expected to clean, so why the heck couldn't they have thrown out the moldy onions? Is it because the bowl was in the kitchen and that area is considered just for a woman?

* Obviously the clothing has changed (I've thankful for the kids for that). Obviously the money from TLC and from the books have allowed the family to live comfortably, yet Jim Bob still acts as though they're in the same financial area we found them in five years ago. Why not simply admit their family is doing well and can afford a few better things in life instead of acting like they are still penny pinching?

As to the first one, I think there is an idea, even among "normal" teens and young adults, that most guys would live in filthy pigsties and never shower if they didn't have moms/girlfriends/wives to keep them in line, and some boys probably are like that. If you left my dad and brother alone in the house for a few weeks, there would probably be some moldy stuff in the kitchen.

As to the second one, I think Jim Bob may just be so used to being extremely frugal that he doesn't know how to be anything else. And he might just not "get" how expensive somethings are. My dad is like this. My mom constantly has to remind him that it's not 1970 anymore and jeans that cost $40 (or whatever) are not unreasonable.

[Boogalou]

Yeah, the Duggars spending habits have completely changed but they still claim the buy used. If I had a dollar for every time I have seen an apple product being used on their show I have enough for a mac book. Michelle's vow removal wedding dress was also bought new (although they probably got that for free). I am also pretty sure that all the furniture in their house was bought new. Finally, I find it incredibly hard to believe that they are still buying most of their clothes from the thrift store especially those hideous flower headbands and fake pigtails.

[lilah]

Didn't Jinger or Jessa recently say they hated to cook? I forget which one originally wanted to be the chef.

So was Joseph and John David taking all of their meals at Anna and Josh's? You'd think that they'd smell the mold at least if they were in there for more than a minute or two.

The Duggar's selective poverty is obnoxious. Surely they can afford to buy their youngest daughters their own beds.

[xReems]

1) "Buy Used, Save the Difference"-They're willing to spend $1 on used clothes and used shoes, yet you see them with iPhones and Mac computers. Correct me if I'm wrong, apple products are not sold at thrift stores and their products are definitely over $200. There are other computers and cell phones that they can have at a cheaper price, so why spend all this money on apple products when they're pretty pricey? Don't use the whole "oh, apple products last longer" as your excuse because spending money on used shoes is going to cost you more in the end as well.

2) Dating vs. Courtship-this isn't for just the Duggars but all those fundies who use the "you give pieces of your heart away when you date" as their reasoning behind courting. I read that if a courtship fails it's because God wasn't ready for you to court and has other plans for you. Josh, apparently, was engaged before he was with Anna, so doesn't that mean a piece of his heart has already been given away? You can't put God in front as your reasoning for an unsuccessful courtship-you gave a piece of your heart away, and that's that.

There's more but I can't think of them at the moment. more to come :)

[Guest Anonymous]

I don't fault them for this one. My husband and I joke that if we were to win the lottery (well, we'd have to play first and we don't , but that's not the point) we'd build the house of our dreams, create trusts for future kids, put the rest in savings or secure investments, and then continue living our lives the same way we do now. We're happy with how we live our lives, and I think Boob is, too. He was perfectly content when there were 14 kids in the little bungalow of a house and there certainly wasn't a fire under his ass to get the big house finished. Sure, they have more money now, but it doesn't mean they have to spend it on stuff they don't think they need.

Unfortunately, the things they think they don't need include:

REAL educations

Careers other than housewifery and motherhood for the girls (there's nothing wrong with choosing to be a SAHD/SAHM if you're free to try something else if it doesn't work out).

The right to associate and socialize with people other than your family

The righ, especially for the young adults and older kids, to read, listen to and look at material of their choosing, not their parents'.

[camdendayton]

* Obviously the clothing has changed (I've thankful for the kids for that). Obviously the money from TLC and from the books have allowed the family to live comfortably, yet Jim Bob still acts as though they're in the same financial area we found them in five years ago. Why not simply admit their family is doing well and can afford a few better things in life instead of acting like they are still penny pinching?

^this! And this seems to be true of almost all reality TV families (though eventually Jon & Kate spoke of the show as their "job"). It really irks me that the producers or whoever feel the need to lie to their viewers and stick with the story line of "we make our $$ doing this" when in reality that income is often being more than subsidized by the show, at least in later seasons.

The problem is not that the Duggars are frugal, which I believe they still are, it's that they go on the Today show and answer the question of how they support the family with the commercial reality line with no nod to how TLC is helping out.

Edited for clarity

[TheSassyOne]

Snarkyjan,

I was thinking about education but you beat me to it!

The contradiction: Do they value education through home schooling, even though Michelle and Jim Bob are aware of what education does exist for their children (due to their own experiences). Or are they limiting their children's educational needs by not allowing them to expand outside of home school/College Plus?

Of course my vote is obviously yes.

I think it's a wonderful learning experience that these kids are able to travel so much. My question though is does Michelle or one of the older sisters prepare a lesson before, during and after that deals with information regarding the trip? Are there projects for the kids to work on, discussions, games, songs, (anything that captures a kids attention), etc? Along with just a basic curriculum, those types of ideas should be incorporated into their travels. If not, it's just a vacation, over and over again. Heck, even I like to learn about various things on my vacations, though I know many people who don't.

I totally understand wanting to protect one's children and even (if qualified) teach them at home. Since the Duggars are obviously in a position now to afford this, why now hire tutors to teach their children the basics (Math, Science, English, History). Michelle/ or the J daughters could still help and teach religion and other electives. At least all the kids would have a firm foundation in education. Again, viewers are well aware of all the other changes that have occurred over the past five years, this wouldn't go against their moral views. It would still keep Michelle in the home teaching, but allow someone with valid credentials to come into her home, under her supervision to help teach her children. Sounds like a win win situation to me!

[browncoatslytherin]

JD seems to be living on his own, so he may have some homemaking skills, but we don't know how much time he spends at the Duggar compound, if he does his own laundry or brings it home, if he joins the family for meals, etc.

i don't think jd has left. in the episode where josie had a seizure, he said his beeper went off, he saw that it was his address, and he ran across the house to josie's room.

[snickerz]

Some contradictions that bug me:

1) They interpret that Bible verse about women not wearing clothing that pertaineth to a man as girls/women must wear dresses ALL THE TIME, yet Jimbo wears gallons & gallons of hairspray - isn't that wearing something that pertaineth to a woman, Jimbob? Why YES, yes it is!

2) A woman's place is in the home, raising her children, not working outside the home, yadda yadda yadda, yet J'chelle is basically a *gasp* WORKING WOMAN - what with writing books and constantly going off for radio interviews, speeches, book signings etc. You're a working woman, J'chelle - you have a CAREER! *gasp!*

3) A woman's place is in the home, raising her children (see above), yet J'chelle DOES NOT raise her children. How is having your babies raised & schooled by unwed teen mothers better than the mom who leaves her babies at daycare or *gasp* seends them to school? HMMM? At least in those situations they'll be cared for by qualified grown-ups who WANT that job.

[O Latin]

Some contradictions that bug me:

1) They interpret that Bible verse about women not wearing clothing that pertaineth to a man as girls/women must wear dresses ALL THE TIME, yet Jimbo wears gallons & gallons of hairspray - isn't that wearing something that pertaineth to a woman, Jimbob? Why YES, yes it is!

2) A woman's place is in the home, raising her children, not working outside the home, yadda yadda yadda, yet J'chelle is basically a *gasp* WORKING WOMAN - what with writing books and constantly going off for radio interviews, speeches, book signings etc. You're a working woman, J'chelle - you have a CAREER! *gasp!*

3) A woman's place is in the home, raising her children (see above), yet J'chelle DOES NOT raise her children. How is having your babies raised & schooled by unwed teen mothers better than the mom who leaves her babies at daycare or *gasp* seends them to school? HMMM? At least in those situations they'll be cared for by qualified grown-ups who WANT that job.

How is hairspray something that pertains exclusively to women? Virtually ever grocery store has hairspray marketed for men (say, unscented and in a black bottle) and for women (in a pink bottle with a flowery scent). Until I was a teenager I thought of hairspray as pretty much a "man thing" because the only person I'd ever seen use it was my dad.

[Boogalou]

How is hairspray something that pertains exclusively to women? Virtually ever grocery store has hairspray marketed for men (say, unscented and in a black bottle) and for women (in a pink bottle with a flowery scent). Until I was a teenager I thought of hairspray as pretty much a "man thing" because the only person I'd ever seen use it was my dad.

Hairspray pertains exclusively to women in the same way that pants pertain exclusively to men.

[O Latin]

Hairspray pertains exclusively to women in the same way that pants pertain exclusively to men.

Oh, okay, I get it. *Goes to fix sarcasm detector*

[TheSassyOne]

With all the talk about Jana, I wonder if her situation is one of the biggest contradictions. She yearns to be a wife and mother, yet she's seemingly stuck being a babysitter for her parents. The Journey to the Heart on the the surface comes across as a wonderful experience, but many posters have shared that it's really to break any rebellion (a la Jana) of a child. Another contradiction. That experience is supposed to help the participant, but it actually helps the parents to regain control of their children, and therefore is probably keeping Jana away from her dream of being a wife/mom - at least until Jim Bob decides the $, I mean the time is right. :(

[silverspoons]

There are tons of contradictions in the Duggars lives now compared to the first special. Im sure if we looked closely we could find a very long list.

As for the onions, I think the boys were using the pretty kitchen not the industrial kitchen that the onions were found in. I remember the cooked some bacon in the pretty kitchen while the others were in Little Rock. It would make sense if there were just a few of them that they would just use the pretty kitchen, it has everything they need and is closer to the table and living room. I bet the boys didn't even go into the industrial kitchen.

[browncoatslytherin]

also the onions were covered by another bowl, so they couldn't even see them if they peeked in there

[lilwriter85]

1) "Buy Used, Save the Difference"-They're willing to spend $1 on used clothes and used shoes, yet you see them with iPhones and Mac computers. Correct me if I'm wrong, apple products are not sold at thrift stores and their products are definitely over $200. There are other computers and cell phones that they can have at a cheaper price, so why spend all this money on apple products when they're pretty pricey? Don't use the whole "oh, apple products last longer" as your excuse because spending money on used shoes is going to cost you more in the end as well.

2) Dating vs. Courtship-this isn't for just the Duggars but all those fundies who use the "you give pieces of your heart away when you date" as their reasoning behind courting. I read that if a courtship fails it's because God wasn't ready for you to court and has other plans for you. Josh, apparently, was engaged before he was with Anna, so doesn't that mean a piece of his heart has already been given away? You can't put God in front as your reasoning for an unsuccessful courtship-you gave a piece of your heart away, and that's that.

There's more but I can't think of them at the moment. more to come :)

The Duggars might be buying refurb Apple products through the online store.

The Duggars buying used shoes really grosses me out because some podiatrists have said that shoes should be bought new because used shoes will cause a lot of problems because they took the former of the person who previously owned them.

[IceQueen]

I just assumed that the apple stuff was free from TLC. I think the Gosselin's had a ton of apple stuff when they had their show.

[lilwriter85]

I just assumed that the apple stuff was free from TLC. I think the Gosselin's had a ton of apple stuff when they had their show.

TLC providing the reality show families with Apple products is another possbility which I didn't think of. I remember in the later seasons of Little People, Big World the family had a few Macs and in the earlier seasons they had PC's. After getting extra money from TLC they decided to buy more expensive things. But I agree TLC could be giving the families Apple stuff.