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xReems

Rachel Wissman and Alan Busenitz: The "Love" Story

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xReems

Rachel finally posted on their family blog how she and Alan met and their courtship. What bothers me the most of this whole courtship process is how the "potential suitor" has to call up the girl's father, telling him a bit about himself and how he wishes to court the daughter, the father then tells his daughter of this stranger who wishes to court him, she prays to God, and then agrees, they're friends (not boyfriend/girlfriend) but friends, and then few months later--boom engagement. It's pretty much like an arranged marriage but they refer to it as "courtship." Half of the time, the fathers don't even know a lick about the guy, which is creepy enough. It's like Dan Beasley's story on how he had to explain to daddy Wissman who he was and what he does.

For Rachel's story, daddy Wissman even forgot Alan's name, yet, gave him permission to court his daughter. Isn't that lovely. They do seem pretty relaxed with the whole "no touching until marriage" like other fundies but they're still bat shit crazy, IMHO.

wissmans.blogspot.com

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Glass Cowcatcher
Rachel finally posted on their family blog how she and Alan met and their courtship. What bothers me the most of this whole courtship process is how the "potential suitor" has to call up the girl's father, telling him a bit about himself and how he wishes to court the daughter, the father then tells his daughter of this stranger who wishes to court him, she prays to God, and then agrees, they're friends (not boyfriend/girlfriend) but friends, and then few months later--boom engagement. It's pretty much like an arranged marriage but they refer to it as "courtship." Half of the time, the fathers don't even know a lick about the guy, which is creepy enough. It's like Dan Beasley's story on how he had to explain to daddy Wissman who he was and what he does.

For Rachel's story, daddy Wissman even forgot Alan's name, yet, gave him permission to court his daughter. Isn't that lovely. They do seem pretty relaxed with the whole "no touching until marriage" like other fundies but they're still bat shit crazy, IMHO.

wissmans.blogspot.com

I was just thinking about this the other day. It really is arranged marriage. :?

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NurseNell

wissmans.blogspot.com

It's wissmanns.blog.com

If my DH had called my Dad to ask permission to court me or marry me my Dad would have said no because no real man would do such a thing.

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Witsec7

I wonder if she get's any of the money Daddy Wissman earns for performances and CD sales? Well one thing is assured, Rachel will no longer be an xtian musician on tour.

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ceg045
As I read the blog and watched some concert clips I began to sense a surrendered spirit about her that was very attractive to me.

I assume by "surrendered spirit," they mean "surrendered to God," but still...creeeeeeepy.

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xReems

What creeped me out most of their story is how Alan's sister brought up Rachel and from the looks of it, she might not have even known the Wissmann family at all; yet, she was so certain that Rachel and Alan would make an amazing couple. He took a look at the website, fell crazy hard for her, drove a few hours out to see them, talked very briefly to Rachel and her siblings and then called up dad Wissmann to court Rachel. They courted for, what, 2 months, before he proposed to her?

I understand how special a father/daughter relationship can be for some-my father and I are extremely close but it would have bothered me to the core if my boyfriend had to call up my dad for permission to date me. My dad met my boyfriend when I thought it was getting serious so he could get to know him and develop a bond with him. The only time my boyfriend is going to seek "permission" from my dad is going to be when he wants to propose to me; by "permission", I mean receiving "blessings" from my dad.

Their "love story" just sounds like a friendship to engagement in 2 months, that's all. Even Rachel talks about developing a close friendship with Alan during their courtship and not relationship. It just seems way too bizarre. I'm happy for her but I just hope she didn't just "settle" for Alan since she was nearing the dirty 30. The girl thought by 18 she was going to be married and then 23 and then cried out to God why everyone she knew were finding someone except her.

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marmalade

It's wissmanns.blog.com

If my DH had called my Dad to ask permission to court me or marry me my Dad would have said no because no real man would do such a thing.

It's actually wissmanns.blogspot.com

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Wine time!
ophelia

Another proof that 90% of the fundie weddings we snark on are arranged marriages.

It really reminds me of Noahs and Darthys story. Darthy was brought up by Noah's sisters and according to the Morton blog they had never talked before and then courted and got engaged within a week. Compared to that the three months Alan and Rachel had seem like a lifetime to me..

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icecreamycakeycake

Even modern day arranged marriages in the Indian culture are far less restrictive and controlling.

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Kira
Another proof that 90% of the fundie weddings we snark on are arranged marriages.

It really reminds me of Noahs and Darthys story. Darthy was brought up by Noah's sisters and according to the Morton blog they had never talked before and then courted and got engaged within a week. Compared to that the three months Alan and Rachel had seem like a lifetime to me..

I don't think anyone believes that story about Noah and Darthy. He was a groomsmen at her brother's wedding and their families are close. I have a hard time imagining they never talked.

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lexiloumarie

I don't think anyone believes that story about Noah and Darthy. He was a groomsmen at her brother's wedding and their families are close. I have a hard time imagining they never talked.

Yeah, I agree. They may not have been allowed to "flirt", but I have a feeling they were both crushing for awhile. If you look at the Morton thanksgiving pictures posted recently, the kids were all mixed up amongst different genders/families. Alyssa Campana, Bethany Smith (now Lane), Sam Morton, and Zach H.? were at their own separate table. I think that whole "they never even talked to each other" thing was a VF purity competition. Like when Anna and Smuggar held hands, and then Zach and Sarah didn't. The S'Morton kids got progressively more crazy far right from Katie to Kressant to Rachel before Bethany went back towards the center.

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makepeace

Well, that was an interesting read. I don't really understand why Alan took so long to find a wife - he is good looking, and not under the restrictions a daughter is under, and went to college.

Will her next two younger sisters ever get married?

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ceg045

What is with the weird *smile*-s scattered throughout her post? I'd like to assume she's happy if she's just gotten engaged to the love of her life; the apparent need to enforce OMGSMILINGALLTHETIME makes the whole thing seem forced.

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Meh
acheronbeach
What is with the weird *smile*-s scattered throughout her post? I'd like to assume she's happy if she's just gotten engaged to the love of her life; the apparent need to enforce OMGSMILINGALLTHETIME makes the whole thing seem forced.

It just strikes me as the sort of writing you'd post if you were thirteen.

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luckystone

It's wissmanns.blog.com

If my DH had called my Dad to ask permission to court me or marry me my Dad would have said no because no real man would do such a thing.

Haha yes, I have some recently-engaged friends (not religious) and apparently the boyfriend wasn't sure if he was still supposed to ask the father or not, in the end he didn't, and when they told the parents they said they were so pleased they hadn't been asked! I guess they view their daughter as a person not property.

What is with the weird *smile*-s scattered throughout her post? I'd like to assume she's happy if she's just gotten engaged to the love of her life; the apparent need to enforce OMGSMILINGALLTHETIME makes the whole thing seem forced.

I can't stand the *smile* or [smile] or *grin*. Both her and Bethany do it, maybe it's a Wissman thing. It really bugs me! Either do : - ) or do :) or don't say it at all and let the emotion be inferred!

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Wine time!
ophelia

I don't think anyone believes that story about Noah and Darthy. He was a groomsmen at her brother's wedding and their families are close. I have a hard time imagining they never talked.

I also doubt that they never talked to each other.. although the Mortons seem to be more strict than the Sanders or Smiths about boy and girl relationships. (Judging from the pictures we see on their blog).

Noah and Darthy probably had some smalltalk, but I don't think they ever had something like a real conversation to get to know each other before courting.

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LurkerOverThePond

I also doubt that they never talked to each other.. although the Mortons seem to be more strict than the Sanders or Smiths about boy and girl relationships. (Judging from the pictures we see on their blog).

Noah and Darthy probably had some smalltalk, but I don't think they ever had something like a real conversation to get to know each other before courting.

Also, a few years ago Darthy spent a whole week or so alone with the Sanderses on their trip up north. Yes, since I have no life I recently read most of the Sanders blog entries and found this gem. Of course I can't remember when this trip took place... Maybe 2007...? It's quite hard to believe N&D spent the whole trip in one family car and never talked to each other at least a little bit... Maybe she joined the trip for some future purposes... which turned out to come true.

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debrand

This is the young man's explanation for why he hadn't found a wife before he met Rachel

Alan: Growing up I always assumed I would be like most guys and be married by my early twenties. As I finished college and began my career, finding a wife was more complicated than I had anticipated. Either they weren't attracted to me or I wasn't attracted to them or neither of us were attracted to the other.

As time moved on I began to sense a growing restlessness and frustration inside. I began to wonder why it had to be so complicated for me when it went so smooth and easy for so many of my friends. Eventually I realized that my frustration was a result of not trusting God's power and perfect love for me, so I decided to memorize certain verses that spoke of God's acute awareness and interest in every detail of my life.

I came across Romans 4:20,21 where the example is given of Abraham who in light of impossible circumstances believed what God had said, and the reason for his belief was rooted in who God was. I also memorized I John 5:14,15 which helped me realize that anything I ask that is according to His will I can be completely confident that He will answer it in the best way for me whether it makes sense to me or not.

Through these truths and others that I found, I concluded that God loves me more than anyone else in the world ever could. So much so, that He gave His life for me and therefore has a very deep interest in every detail of my life. And, like Abraham, I could trust that whatever circumstances He allowed in my life were best for me for that time whether I understood it or not. And so I was able to surrender that struggle over to Him. Psalms 62:8 was a verse that I put into practice many times and continue to use as life moves on.

Sometimes it seems like God holds things we really want away from us until we surrender control of it over to Him. And that was exactly the case in the scenario which was about to unfold.

Fundies make their god sound like a giant dick. His god wouldn't let him find his true love until Alan surrendered all control over to god. I found my husband by having a one night stand that ended up with a marriage proposal. On Halloween, we will be celebrating 24 happy years together. I think that I like heathen wasy of finding a spouse much more then Alan's.

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IReallyAmHopewell

It is arranged marriage pure and simple. But one sided. The guy picks. Girl has little, if any, say in the matter. They can sugar-coat it all they like with prayers etc but it's still "Here's the guy you are marrying."

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IReallyAmHopewell

Just read it. A 30 year old woman has to ask Daddy if she can do [fill in the blank]. Ridiculous. Still, I do wish them well.

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Kitten
we spent several 10-12 hour days riding in the combine.
:D

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Witsec7
:D

Rachel it is stultifying riding in a combine. Even if you are the operator there are moments of boredom and discomfort (esp if you have AC and it craps out).

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Pclee
They do the deed today. Any pics yet?

"do the deed" LOL! :lol:

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Kira

The Wissmann's have a couple of pics up on their blog.

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