Polygamy on Anderson Live

[MaroonMandy]

So I'm home sick today and just stumbled across an episode of Anderson. There's a couple who have been "dating" a woman they met on an online polygamy website and just met her in person on the show.

 

Aside from the fact that I think the surprise meeting is cheesy, I'm intrigued by these websites. If I remember correctly, the poster from Megan's Polyblog met her family the same way. How common are these websites? And how do you just decide one day you want to try polygamy?

 

These people also make me want to band my head--they decided to look into polygamy because of the Browns. Cause you know, reality TV is a good way to make life-altering decisions.

[Witsec7]

I would think the online sites would be ubiquitous. We have an active polyamorous group in my town, and their monthly potlucks bring folks in from a distance. edited to add: locally folks may be interested in LTR, but marriage would not necessarily be a concern.

[tropaka]

I think I saw this epi - if they were inspired by the Browns, did they mention that the Browns practice it for religious purposes (or at least the wives do) - not 'cause it looks cool?

[samurai_sarah]

Wasn't Megan's poly-blog debunked as fake?

Anyway, there are several polygamy dating sites, like 2wives.com or the SisterWives.net. Not all of the posters are religiously motivated, but they always seem to follow the formula of one husband/several wives.

[lilith]

If Megan from Megan's Polyblog is real, the way she connected to the family and the way they made her part of it is tragic.

She was just 18, from a very messed up background (her dad raped her when she was 16, he's now in jail, not clear if it's for raping her or something else), she admits that she had no money or direction or options and just wanted a family and a father figure.

So she goes to meet this family, spends the weekend there, everyone is super nice..... But at the end of the weekend they tell her if she wants to come back she has to marry the man of the house to avoid temptation and impropriety. No more spending time there just getting to know each other.

So she packs up, marries him, sleeps with him on the wedding night even though she's not sure if she wants to (one of the other wives gives her the charming advice that if she's not prepared to go all the way she shouldn't share a room with him cause he "can be quite dominant in bed and won't hold back once he's started", is pregnant with twins in no time. Oh, and quick pregnancy is encouraged to ensure commitment to the family.

It's just a really sad story about a family targeting a young vulnerable woman and tying her to their lifestyle before she has time to question it or grow up.

Oh, and soon after she joins the family the first wife leaves, leaving her kids behind. Which just makes the whole story sadder. The first wife is probably better off out, but leaving her kids and being replaced by an 18 year old - can you imagine?

[MaroonMandy]

I don't know if it has been debunked or not. I really hope it is fake, because the story is sad and creepy. And yes, they did mention that the Browns did it for religious reasons but the migraine meds finally kicked in so I don't know what their response was.

[DifferentGurl]

These people also make me want to band my head--they decided to look into polygamy because of the Browns. Cause you know, reality TV is a good way to make life-altering decisions.

Yea, like you should get knocked up as a teenager so you can get your own show and make tons of money. :roll: Seriously, am I the only one that reads the fine print in this kind of stuff like "Even though we are all happy with our sister wives, we still feel jealousy and plural marriage isn't for everyone! Plural marriage can be tough! " Just because they can handle it doesn't mean others ( like those not raised in plural marriage households ) can handle it.

[samurai_sarah]

I don't know if it has been debunked or not. I really hope it is fake, because the story is sad and creepy. And yes, they did mention that the Browns did it for religious reasons but the migraine meds finally kicked in so I don't know what their response was.

Found where I read that it's fake:

http://freejinger.yuku.com/topic/2095#.T9nOHpiseOI

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=3768&start=0

I'm with you in hoping that it's fake, because it's a sad and creepy read. And even creepier, because her church is seems to specifically target vulnerable young women in difficult circumstances. The blogger says on a couple of occasions that they have rules for which women they take in, and IIRC young and vulnerable topped the list.

[MeganC]

Hi, one of the people who reads my blog told me I was being talked about here. If anyone has any questions feel free to ask.

Megan

[lilith]

Hi, one of the people who reads my blog told me I was being talked about here. If anyone has any questions feel free to ask.

Megan

Hi Megan.

I know it's a hard thing to think about because this relationship has given you children you obviously love, but with maturity and hindsight do you think you could have found more happiness and fulfillment if you took a different path at 18?

If you had had an oppourtunity to spend more time with the family you married at the same time as establishing yourself as an independent adult and building relationships in the outside world, do you think you would have married them?

Apart from polygamy, are your churches beliefs different from mainstream Christianity? Do you think you could have found happiness and security within a more traditional congregation?

[tigerchild]

There are a lot of polyAMORY sites. Tons of Polyamory local groups too, used to be quite a few interent bbs, ect. That's way different from, say the polygamy of the FLDS.

I was involved with a poly group in the Twin Cities once upon a time. Cool folks. To be honest, even though it was kind of a no-no to refer to people as 'swingers' since they were open to relationships and went on dates beyond just having sex, it was more...well kind of an open relationship group dating/nerd hangout scene really. At least with the people that were a part of that group. A needy teenager would have sent people screaming. Generally you were expected to be an independent adult. I was young when I was a part of it and the older members (I'm sure that they were all of mid-to-late 30s, but hey, I was like 23) were quite protective of me and I got a lot of (non-sexual) nurturing and how to sent boundaries and useful stuff like that mentoring from the older women. Religious nuts would not have been welcomed nor would they have felt comfortable in that group I don't think.

So yeah, I'm sure there are a lot of people that date, in poly situations, online. I'm sure it can be successful, and I know plenty of people who started out their relationship that way, but when you actually start having a face to face relationship with someone it's...different. As anyone who's done an internet LTR of any variety can attest to. :) (I met my husband online, we knew each other online for almost 4 years, met face to face and within 2 months I'd moved across country to be with him and here we are 13 years later, married for 11 years with 3 kids...but it was a bit of a weird adjustment from online to face to face).

[MeganC]

Hi Megan.

I know it's a hard thing to think about because this relationship has given you children you obviously love, but with maturity and hindsight do you think you could have found more happiness and fulfillment if you took a different path at 18?

If you had had an oppourtunity to spend more time with the family you married at the same time as establishing yourself as an independent adult and building relationships in the outside world, do you think you would have married them?

Apart from polygamy, are your churches beliefs different from mainstream Christianity? Do you think you could have found happiness and security within a more traditional congregation?

"If" is the biggest word in the world. Yes, I do think about the possibilities could have had but those possibilities were driven by my parents drug habits and their other stupid things they did. I could have joined the army or something but that is about the only option I had. Scholarships were not going to happen because my parents never filed taxes and you have to have those things to get scholarships or grants. I could have worked at fast food or something but for what?

When I was 17 I had big obsession with having a baby and one thing led to another and here I am. My family here made me more independent by paying for me to go to culinary school and I guess if I had to I could cook full time and make decent money at it. I do work outside the house sometimes and I make my own money and I also raise chickens and the money I make is mine and that is about $150 a day after expenses now.

Our church is pretty normal except for allowing poly and that is not that unusual I am learning. A lot of United Church of Christ churches accept poly families. For our church only 1/3 of families are poly and the rest are MF families. We are free to leave anytime and they're pretty careful not to be a cult so it is not as controlling as like Scientology or the Amish or some Mormon groups.

About relationships in the world I don't like most of the guys my age and from where I used to live. They love their cell phones too much to love anyone else. I feel bad for women who marry guys who have to have a phone going all day. I think I would get more attention from an alcoholic.

[Witsec7]

Our church is pretty normal except for allowing poly[/quote

I may be playing with a Poe here but I'm willing to invest a post in the thread.

I recall you posting that prime recruits for your current poly lifestyle come from a shelter in Denver. Is this shelter affiliated with your church? Regardless, why do you feel victimized young women are the best candidates for your lifestyle? FWIW I'm not opposed to secular polyamory or poly marriage.

[MeganC]

I recall you posting that prime recruits for your current poly lifestyle come from a shelter in Denver. Is this shelter affiliated with your church? Regardless, why do you feel victimized young women are the best candidates for your lifestyle? FWIW I'm not opposed to secular polyamory or poly marriage.

The shelter is run by the church and the reason the families that can afford to are asked to take them in is from James 1:27 and a bunch of other passages in the Bible. It is meant to be an act of charity and sacrifice to take in women that no one else will. Not just young women either but it is mostly younger women who choose this. Like me. I didn;t come in through the shelter but it was not like I was all that amazing when I came to my family. I had a lot of problems I had to get through.

[MeganC]

And what is a Poe?

[Witsec7]

I had a lot of problems I had to get through.

FJ is made up of a variety of people who have had a wide variety of experiences. Many folks here have had problems they had to get through, but they did not choose to become poly to solve those problems.

What provisions has your children's father made for you and them in the event of his passing? Is there a will? Social security death benefits will be denied to you and likely your children.

Do you have a new church since the move?

[lilith]

But would your church help these vulnerable young women get back on their feet without them having to commit to joining one of your families?

And does your church do any outreach that doesn't focus on vulnerable women?

If one of your daughters one day left an abusive situation, would you like her to feel that she was loved and helped unconditionally, or that the only way she could be safe and care for her children was to marry a man who already had a family?

[DarkAnts]

The shelter is run by the church and the reason the families that can afford to are asked to take them in is from James 1:27 and a bunch of other passages in the Bible. It is meant to be an act of charity and sacrifice to take in women that no one else will. Not just young women either but it is mostly younger women who choose this. Like me. I didn;t come in through the shelter but it was not like I was all that amazing when I came to my family. I had a lot of problems I had to get through.

Its sad that your church makes it seem like no one else in the world would want these women. That is giving them a low self-esteem complex from the start. It sounds like you may have one too if you did not think of your self with high regard when you joined the church.

[Witsec7]

Its sad that your church makes it seem like no one else in the world would want these women. That is giving them a low self-esteem complex from the start. It sounds like you may have one too if you did not think of your self with high regard when you joined the church.

And this to me is where the story stops working and I lean towards fraud as has been previously claimed.

I find it hard to believe that in this day and age we have a shelter run by the United Church of Christ actively feeding troubled young women into polygamy.

[bananacat]

Hi, one of the people who reads my blog told me I was being talked about here. If anyone has any questions feel free to ask.

Megan

I have a question. Would you accept a young, vulnerable man into your marriage if he came from a homeless shelter? If not, why is it different?

[tigerchild]

I find it hard to believe that in this day and age we have a shelter run by the United Church of Christ actively feeding troubled young women into polygamy.

I agree. In fact, I do not believe it for one second. I'd love to know what church this is. I am a member of a UCC church, and while I could definitely see poly families made welcome, this would not be preached. And if it looked like someone was taking advantage of a minor, the authorities would be called, and whatever minister encouraged/permitted this would be shitcanned. I hope.

[MonkeyMomma]

And this to me is where the story stops working and I lean towards fraud as has been previously claimed.

I find it hard to believe that in this day and age we have a shelter run by the United Church of Christ actively feeding troubled young women into polygamy.

I don't think she's UCC. I think she just uses the UCC as an example of how "normal" her church is. Except that polyamory in the UCC is very different from polygamy with wifely submission, as it is in Megan's church.

[bananacat]

MeganC is on the homeschool thread claiming she got a graduated high school with a 3.5 GPA. Somehow she managed to do this while having a kid at 17 and doing all kinds of drugs. Something's not adding up here and I'm suspicious because we've had a lot of rug-shitters lately. Frankly, I'm not inclined to believe anything she says right now.

[IceQueen]

I am not at all buying this blog. There are zero pictures and a lot of posts about her sex life. Call me a prude but it doesn't make sense to me.

[Witsec7]

Yea if she was so into privacy I cannot understand why she used her name on her yahoo email address that's posted on the blog.

I wonder if we will get a blog shout out or the blog will just go private :lol: