Oatmeal=punishment for lying? A letter to Lori's kids

[LilMissMetaphor]

My mother used to buy things for herself to eat that were too expensive to also buy for us kids and we weren't allowed to touch them. Or she would hide and eat whatever it was. That kind of stuff really bothers me. It's one more way to reinforce the "you're not worth much" dynamic that seems to be so important in fundie families.

Are we sisters?

Mine always got individual yogurt for herself but yeah, it was too expensive to waste on us. Yogurt. With calcium. Good for growing bones.

Same thing with gum. If we were lucky we got half a stick on a special occasion. The idea of someone having a whole stick of gum to herself was practically unfathomable.

[Witsec7]

That was my question too. Was it plain cooked oatmeal or just uncooked oatmeal? I asked her. ;)

Dry oatmeal is a bit dangerous.

[Guest Anonymous]

Are we sisters?

Mine always got individual yogurt for herself but yeah, it was too expensive to waste on us. Yogurt. With calcium. Good for growing bones.

Same thing with gum. If we were lucky we got half a stick on a special occasion. The idea of someone having a whole stick of gum to herself was practically unfathomable.

If I wasn't pretty sure you're in Canada, I'd be calling up one of my sisters to see if she's on FJ. Yep, same, right down to the yogurt and the gum. Not to mention fruit. And if we ever ate at subway we had to split a sub - a 6" one for two people. Maybe this is a more common thing than I had thought. That's depressing.

[Godlesspanther-2-]

Well, if it was cooked oatmeal -- there are some kids who really like bland mushy food. They could just lie for a meal.

[fluttershies]

As someone with an oat intolerance (yes it's real, it's related to gluten intolerance) who gets horrific stomach cramps after eating oatmeal or any oat products, that sounds awful :( What a shitty mother.

[Beeks]

If it was plain cooked oatmeal, does that mean she got this in place of a regular meal? Like going to bed without dinner, but less mean? I dunno, doesn't seem that horrible to me, just kinda weird and unrelated to lying.

[brashchick]

Dry oatmeal is a bit dangerous.

Why is dry oatmeal dangerous ? I mix it into my vanilla yogurt with a sliced banana and some nuts sometimes. Oh, and Lori is a bitch.

[WanderingStar]

Why is dry oatmeal dangerous ? I mix it into my vanilla yogurt with a sliced banana and some nuts sometimes. Oh, and Lori is a bitch.

I don't know about dangerous, but if dry oatmeal is being force-fed to the lying child as I would imagine Lori doing, in other words almost shoving it down their throats, I bet it hurts a lot. Dry oatmeal mixed into smooth yogurt wouldn't really hurt, of course.

If it was plain cooked oatmeal, does that mean she got this in place of a regular meal? Like going to bed without dinner, but less mean? I dunno, doesn't seem that horrible to me, just kinda weird and unrelated to lying.

Fun fact time! In the olden days, especially down south, the midday meal was called dinner and not lunch, and the meal after that later was called supper. Dinner was often heavier and more filling than supper was as family members usually had to get back to work on their farm chores. Supper was more like a small meal or snack right before bed, and while I still don't like the thought of kids back then being sent to bed without supper, it doesn't seem as cruel as it would be today with the heavier meal usually being your last big meal of the day and not going to bed right when it gets dark. Either way, even if plain oatmeal instead of supper is better than no supper at all, I still don't like the idea of using food as punishment.

Oh and that sit time post just makes me depressed. :cry: Poor baby. Never too early to start breaking a child's spirit!

[Wolfie]

My mother used to buy things for herself to eat that were too expensive to also buy for us kids and we weren't allowed to touch them. Or she would hide and eat whatever it was. That kind of stuff really bothers me. It's one more way to reinforce the "you're not worth much" dynamic that seems to be so important in fundie families.

My mom used to do this occasionally, but I don't see anything wrong with how she did it. Generally it was diet soda that we weren't allowed any. (but while I like regular soda, I prefer water over diet soda) Other stuff was hers, and we weren't allowed to just go in and snack on it, but if she was eating it we got tastes.

And my family is odd in that we don't eat emotionally. If we're really upset or stressed we actually forget to eat, which doesn't help matters at all anyway.

[Witsec7]

Why is dry oatmeal dangerous ? I mix it into my vanilla yogurt with a sliced banana and some nuts sometimes. Oh, and Lori is a bitch.

I totally would choke on a mouthful of dry oatmeal.

[Koala]

Fun fact time! In the olden days, especially down south, the midday meal was called dinner and not lunch, and the meal after that later was called supper.

Yes, my grandparents did this. Lunch was called dinner and dinner was called supper. Good memories.

[bananacat]

Ok, it's definitely wrong to use food as a punishment and always a bad idea to force-feed anything to anyone (because of risk of choking).

But as a complete tangent, am I the only person who actually likes plain oatmeal? I love all kinds of plain grains: plain white rice, plain pasta, plain polenta. I like bland food because then I can taste the subtle flavor of the grain itself. My favorite is plain white rice and I could eat that all the time.

[Guest Anonymous]

My mom used to do this occasionally, but I don't see anything wrong with how she did it. Generally it was diet soda that we weren't allowed any. (but while I like regular soda, I prefer water over diet soda) Other stuff was hers, and we weren't allowed to just go in and snack on it, but if she was eating it we got tastes.

And my family is odd in that we don't eat emotionally. If we're really upset or stressed we actually forget to eat, which doesn't help matters at all anyway.

I don't see a problem with that if you don't. I don't think diet soda is good for kids, so I understand that one. My situation was different. Not being allowed to eat yogurt or fruit when there wasn't much or anything else sucked. I do have weird food issues even now because there were times when I didn't get enough to eat.

[NurseNell]

Ok, it's definitely wrong to use food as a punishment and always a bad idea to force-feed anything to anyone (because of risk of choking).

But as a complete tangent, am I the only person who actually likes plain oatmeal? I love all kinds of plain grains: plain white rice, plain pasta, plain polenta. I like bland food because then I can taste the subtle flavor of the grain itself. My favorite is plain white rice and I could eat that all the time.

I love plain oatmeal. I also love plain white rice. I don't like pastas though.

[fundiefan]

This chick makes me ill. And every time someone talks about her family (Sanders crew) because they're so pretty and have fun and all that jazz, I just want to scream...this is the same family that made this mother from hell.

All the 'training' will create more people just like her. That in and of itself is enough to make me want to hurt someone.

[itsnikki05]

I take my punishment with a little cinnamon, touch of sugar and butter. ;) Really? Who ever heard of giving kids a good, healthy food for PUNISHMENT. Oh yes, good going there! LOL!

[itsnikki05]

Fun fact time! In the olden days, especially down south, the midday meal was called dinner and not lunch, and the meal after that later was called supper. Dinner was often heavier and more filling than supper was as family members usually had to get back to work on their farm chores. Supper was more like a small meal or snack right before bed, and while I still don't like the thought of kids back then being sent to bed without supper, it doesn't seem as cruel as it would be today with the heavier meal usually being your last big meal of the day and not going to bed right when it gets dark. Either way, even if plain oatmeal instead of supper is better than no supper at all, I still don't like the idea of using food as punishment.

Oh and that sit time post just makes me depressed. :cry: Poor baby. Never too early to start breaking a child's spirit!

Hey! :) We call Lunch/Dinner... and Supper is the last meal of the day. :) And we do our "big" meal midday because my dh has second shift. :) LOL! That's funny. (And I'm down south, in MS)

[SimplyMe]

How incredibly ignorant to punish a child with food- healthy food, at that!!! Stupid, ignorant woman. I feel so badly for her children. She ought to start saving for all the counseling bills they'll have for those poor kids.

As an aside, isn't her name Lora (with an "a")?

[SimplyMe]

Oh, and I LOVE oatmeal- steel cut, made with water, plain. It's similar in texture to brown rice (another favorite), but with its own unique flavor. I too love to actually taste the grain, not mask it with other things. Love rice and pasta, quinoa, farro, etc plain. Yum!

[Petronella7]

The oatmeal diet is a common "attachment therapy" tactic for so-called RAD children. As is accusing the child of constant lying. Are any of these kids adopted?

[itsnikki05]

Hell, I have been known to faceplant in a bowl of brownie batter, but yeah. Not while feeding my (nonexistant) kid oatmeal as a punishment.

My mother used to buy things for herself to eat that were too expensive to also buy for us kids and we weren't allowed to touch them. Or she would hide and eat whatever it was. That kind of stuff really bothers me. It's one more way to reinforce the "you're not worth much" dynamic that seems to be so important in fundie families.

I actually CAN'T eat when I'm upset. When I'm really upset.... um... we'll just say I can't eat. :)

My mom did that too. And it SUCKED. We didn't have much money growing up, and it really stunk to not have even canned fruit and vegetables. Made me feel like my brother and I just weren't important. Now, my husband doesn't make that much money but we're taken care of, and my daughter has fresh fruit and such to eat. And yogurt. :) And milk. :) (And OATMEAL! The girl loves it!)

I can't stand the thought of using food as punishment. I got a lot of "You're fat, you don't need this" by my mom and then she'd eat the crap right in front of me. I got to where I couldn't hardly eat anything. I don't like using food as a weapon of any sort. Or even for reward. Food is to nourish us, and the fact that it tastes good is just a nice little side benefit. :)

(Oh, and I do have something that I keep from my daughter to an extent. Mints. LOL! But I'm kinda obsessed with them, and keep eating them during church and J CRUNCHES them! I still give her some, just not that often. Oh, and I have lactose free milk because I don't like the soy/rice variety and I can't have dairy. She drinks regular. LOL)

[bbfreethinker]

If I was her child, I'd tell her I hated chocolate and hope I'd get it as a punishment. ;)

[Parkersmom120106]

What kind of monster looks at that sweet little face and then purposely makes it frown and cry? AND is proud enough of it to take pictures? My kid can't sit still and quiet through a church service, or much of anything really, but I'd rather avoid situations where he has to sit completely still and silent for an extended amount of time than hit him and make him cry for acting like a kid.

[Wolfie]

Hey! :) We call Lunch/Dinner... and Supper is the last meal of the day. :) And we do our "big" meal midday because my dh has second shift. :) LOL! That's funny. (And I'm down south, in MS)

When I lived in the midwest- not all THAT long ago (moved back west 13 years ago last month) it wasn't unheard of to call whatever was the biggest meal of the day (noon or evening) Dinner, and evening meal could be Dinner or supper no matter how big or small it was. (when I call the evening meal supper, it really bothers my 5 year old niece.)

[Wolfie]

I don't see a problem with that if you don't. I don't think diet soda is good for kids, so I understand that one. My situation was different. Not being allowed to eat yogurt or fruit when there wasn't much or anything else sucked. I do have weird food issues even now because there were times when I didn't get enough to eat.

Yes, we always had enough to eat- my mom says that now it was hard at times, but we always had food. She got extras from family members' gardens and froze and canned them so we could have them the rest of the year. If she misjudged on milk for the week she made yogurt (which we then ate with homemade jam or jelly for flavor), she baked most of our bread and often made cookies for us. We were very lucky that she did put us first even when money was tight.

And I'm glad that I watched her then, those good but frugal food skills are very handy for somebody trying to make ends meet on a single salary.