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Oatmeal=punishment for lying? A letter to Lori's kids


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Some days I think I've heard it all. :(

File this under: I hate fundie parents and the things they do to their kids.

Also file under: It's disgusting to deny someone their autonomy.

http://www.vitafamiliae.com/

I hope, though, that you’ll look back on the time that Daddy fed you plain oatmeal to discourage lying and only cringe a little at the memory. I hope you remember valiantly trying to swallow that oatmeal every time you think about lying again. I hope you might even laugh a bit.

We were both proud of how bravely you accepted your consequences.

Don't worry though. Lori rewarded herself for being a mommy martyr with chocolate. Again. Cause you know how gosh darn hard it is when you're a "mom of many", but Lori wouldn't have it any other way. :roll:

I also ate a lot of chocolate, which you never saw.

As tired as I am tonight, as grateful as I am for my chocolate
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Side note to Lori:

You should start hoping they DON'T look back on the time you forced a food they didn't like into their mouths as punishment.

You should start hoping they DON'T remember being lined up for "Sit Time". While you're at it maybe you should hope that they DON'T remember the times they moved or talked during sit time and you used your "implement of correction" as you like to call it on them. Maybe they won't remember that you took picture of your baby (yes she was still a baby) sobbing after you hit her, or that you commented on how she smiled for the first picture (when sit time started) because according to you she had no idea what was coming.

Maybe they won't remember the times you showed them the "implement of correction" in church either, or the naps and chocolate you so often require to cope with motherhood.

Yeah, maybe you should forget worrying about what they do remember, and start hoping that there's a lot they DON'T remember.

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Way to teach your kids to hate a nutritious food like oatmeal :roll:

Actually, way to encourage your kids to have an unhealthy relationship with food, full-stop.

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I have this daydream where everything fundie parents did to their kids eventually happens to them.

Lori, as a mother, in the words of Bart Simpson, you both suck and blow.

*riffle

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I have this daydream where everything fundie parents did to their kids eventually happens to them.

and I thought I was the only one.

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Side note to Lori:

You should start hoping they DON'T look back on the time you forced a food they didn't like into their mouths as punishment.

You should start hoping they DON'T remember being lined up for "Sit Time". While you're at it maybe you should hope that they DON'T remember the times they moved or talked during sit time and you used your "implement of correction" as you like to call it on them. Maybe they won't remember that you took picture of your baby (yes she was still a baby) sobbing after you hit her, or that you commented on how she smiled for the first picture (when sit time started) because according to you she had no idea what was coming.

Maybe they won't remember the times you showed them the "implement of correction" in church either, or the naps and chocolate you so often require to cope with motherhood.

Yeah, maybe you should forget worrying about what they do remember, and start hoping that there's a lot they DON'T remember.

Well said. :clap:

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Well said. :clap:

you know I can't help but wonder what that precious baby thought when her mother hit her and then grabbed her camera/phone to take a picture. That had to have been a wtf moment. She was so young, and I can't imagine how confused she must have been.

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To which incident are you guys referring? I just started following her blog in february.

Thanks!

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Good lord! Every time I think she can't be a crappier parent she does. How exactly does gagging down yucky food relate to lying.

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Food should not be used as a tool for punishment or reward, unless you want to open up a whole can of dysfunction!worms. And, unfortunately, I have a feeling that food issues won't be the only issues LL's kids are going to have to deal with when they grow up.

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Good lord! Every time I think she can't be a crappier parent she does. How exactly does gagging down yucky food relate to lying.

I suppose it's like washing their mouths out with soap...?

I'm not sure if that would be better or worse, to be honest.

And really, I found that I curbed lying really well with my nieces mostly by just ignoring it. Why exert yourself if you don't have to? (To tell the truth, it's not the lying that gets me but the STUPID lying. I hate stupid lies.)

As far as "sit time" goes - ye gods. Do these people have any concept of how to teach kids anything WITHOUT using punishment? Talk about a one trick pony!

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Oh boy! This is really bad. Those poor children (probably my most written sentence on FJ!)

I am really surprised how LL got THAT fundie. The Sanders are really fundie (although they somehow try to hide that on their blog and Mama Sanders doesn't seem to be the typical quiet, submissive wife) But LL grew up with her biological mother and went to a real highschool and college, didn't she? I also remember reading that she and Andrew met at college and there was no word of a courtship or transfer of authority. And their relationship somehow doesn't seem typical fundie. I don't see LL as a submissive wife. It is more like she is the queen of the hive with all her little blessings around her and he is her servant.. shouldn't that be the other way around in fundie-world??

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Oh boy! This is really bad. Those poor children (probably my most written sentence on FJ!)

I am really surprised how LL got THAT fundie. The Sanders are really fundie (although they somehow try to hide that on their blog and Mama Sanders doesn't seem to be the typical quiet, submissive wife) But LL grew up with her biological mother and went to a real highschool and college, didn't she? I also remember reading that she and Andrew met at college and there was no word of a courtship or transfer of authority. And their relationship somehow doesn't seem typical fundie. I don't see LL as a submissive wife. It is more like she is the queen of the hive with all her little blessings around her and he is her servant.. shouldn't that be the other way around in fundie-world??

I suspect that all of the fundie converts found something awesome about fundamentalism that they really like. A fix (or 19) for pregnancy addictions, attention, and of course control. LL, I think, just found power and let it go to her head. I don't think any of them are submissive wives at all, but use passive-aggressive manipulation to get their way and pretend they are. And they shriek about wifely submission to others.

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To be honest, it sounds like LL herself has problems with food- rewarding herself with lots of chocolate for an emotional reaction- and she's passing on that dysfunctional relationship with food to her children.

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To be honest, it sounds like LL herself has problems with food- rewarding herself with lots of chocolate for an emotional reaction- and she's passing on that dysfunctional relationship with food to her children.

yepp. That's what I thought too.

I wonder if her adoption agency did some research on her before allowing her to adopt. That photo of her crying little girl just broke my heart.

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This is all kinds of messed up. Who feeds their kids plain oatmeal and then turn around and eat chocolate? There are much more effective punishments that don't involve forcing a child to eat something he/she doesn't like or hitting.

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I completely agree about LL potentially having food issues. Almost everyone does some emotional eating (hopefully I'm not projecting), but the way she describes it goes beyond, at least what I see, as normal. Plus, in reading back through her blog, she seems to talk about chocolate a lot. I like chocolate, but it would never come up in multiple blog posts and discussed in the way that she does. From her writings, it always does seem to be associated with some emotional reaction.

My heart just breaks for her children. The picture of her little girl crying after being "corrected" during sit-time was just terrible and for her force feeding her child oatmeal. What in the world?!?!? She is setting her kids up to have many issues later in life and right now.

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Way to teach your kids to hate a nutritious food like oatmeal :roll:

Actually, way to encourage your kids to have an unhealthy relationship with food, full-stop.

I know. I love oatmeal. I don't get why you'd use it for punishment.

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Well, geez, what's the punishment for taking the lord's name in vain? Gefilte fish?

You just made me gag. Ughhhhh.

My mother did the soap thing and it was not traumatic but certainly unnecessary and unpleasant. I am assuming they mean uncooked oatmeal, which is difficult to swallow?

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My mother did the soap thing and it was not traumatic but certainly unnecessary and unpleasant. I am assuming they mean uncooked oatmeal, which is difficult to swallow?

That was my question too. Was it plain cooked oatmeal or just uncooked oatmeal? I asked her. ;)

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Guest Anonymous
I completely agree about LL potentially having food issues. Almost everyone does some emotional eating (hopefully I'm not projecting), but the way she describes it goes beyond, at least what I see, as normal. Plus, in reading back through her blog, she seems to talk about chocolate a lot. I like chocolate, but it would never come up in multiple blog posts and discussed in the way that she does. From her writings, it always does seem to be associated with some emotional reaction.

My heart just breaks for her children. The picture of her little girl crying after being "corrected" during sit-time was just terrible and for her force feeding her child oatmeal. What in the world?!?!? She is setting her kids up to have many issues later in life and right now.

Hell, I have been known to faceplant in a bowl of brownie batter, but yeah. Not while feeding my (nonexistant) kid oatmeal as a punishment.

My mother used to buy things for herself to eat that were too expensive to also buy for us kids and we weren't allowed to touch them. Or she would hide and eat whatever it was. That kind of stuff really bothers me. It's one more way to reinforce the "you're not worth much" dynamic that seems to be so important in fundie families.

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