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Straight Christian Author Pretends to be Gay for New Book


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But, but, he worked at a gay coffee house and played on gay sports teams. Two things my gay ass has never done.

If he really wanted the 'gay experience' he would have had sex with a dude and liked it. That's pretty much the only requirement. Would've only taken a hour or two.

Exactly. Stuff like this plays right into the likes of An Unusual Maiden's hands with their gibberish about 'the gay lifestyle'. There is no gay lifestyle! The vast majority of things like gay bars, gay sports teams etc are aimed at and cater for white, middle-class gay men. There are many, many LGBTQ folks who are none of those things and who have never even seen a gay bar, but it doesn't make them less gay. A working-class, latina lesbian from Bumfuck, Nebraska is going to have a very different experience of a 'gay lifestyle' than a middle-class, WASP gay man from LA, rendering the concept meaningless. To say nothing of all the LGBTQ people living worldwide in countries that either deny their existence or seek to exterminate them!

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From the author:

I can see how it can all go terribly wrong if he tries to become the spokesperson for a group he has no right to speak for. But it sounds like he's trying to address the direct effects of Christian homophobia to the best of his ability. There's a lot of claims that "hate the sin, love the sinner," is a loving, happy, wonderful thing to do, but most people who attempt to do this end up being horrible. If a straight person who can get out of his experience at any time and isn't in danger of internalizing a lot of the hate can be made to feel a little bad, then that means that Christian "love" can be a lot harmful. Yeah, it would be a realer experience if a Christian gay person wrote about being gay and a Christian. Or if a non-Christian gay person wrote about dealing with Christians. But I don't understand why this guy shouldn't try to experience as much of the hate as he can, even if his experience is limited, in order to try to convince homophobic Christians to be less homophobic. Can't all three books happen?

I thought Ehrenreich's "Nickle and Dimed" was worthwhile, even though she was white and well-educated and had a time limit to her experiment, as well as a book deal before she started. She stated the limits of her experience at the start and interviewed people who were in real financially-unstable situations. Seems similar.

I mean, the book could be terrible, and the guy could be all like, "Whoo! I'm white, male, and middle class, suckas!" but I'd read it before deciding that.

I'm glad he's aware of the limits of his experience and his privilege, and I don't think he has bad intent but it still rubs me wrong. If LGBT works, as a seperate entity, and as part of the mainstream publishing world ACTUALLY presented gay (and in this case Chrisitian) voices with an outlet on even an irregular basis, than yes examining it from multiple angles is great. But we're still leaps and bounds away from that, so it still comes down to "The straight people will only listen to this if it comes from other straight people." (with an undertone of "because I can't relate to those "weird/scary/strange LBGT people). It ends up dismissing the actual gay Christian voices.

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I find this author's idea rather dickish. "I think I'll pretend to be gay so I can write a book about it that ends up defending my position of white, male, hetero privilege!" There is no way he can understand what it's like to be gay- since all along he knew he could have his prized position back the moment he came back out of the closet and said, "Psych! Just kidding! Won't this make an awesome book?"

This. I remember a few years back there was a white privileged college grad who pretended to be homeless and jobless for a year so he could write a book. He was always white, he was always college educated, he was always sane, he was always physically fit, he was always male-- he had no real idea of what it was like to be down and out in America, he was just playing at it.

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Nobody can become a gay person or a person of color unless that is who that actually are. However, I think that immersing yourself in the culture such as this author and some of the others mentioned upthread, is useful and interesting. It does help people understand some of (not all of) the pressures and issues that come with being a part of a group that is not your own.

I think that project is fair game and will reserve judgement until I read the book.

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Exactly. Stuff like this plays right into the likes of An Unusual Maiden's hands with their gibberish about 'the gay lifestyle'. There is no gay lifestyle! The vast majority of things like gay bars, gay sports teams etc are aimed at and cater for white, middle-class gay men. There are many, many LGBTQ folks who are none of those things and who have never even seen a gay bar, but it doesn't make them less gay. A working-class, latina lesbian from Bumfuck, Nebraska is going to have a very different experience of a 'gay lifestyle' than a middle-class, WASP gay man from LA, rendering the concept meaningless. To say nothing of all the LGBTQ people living worldwide in countries that either deny their existence or seek to exterminate them!

edited for html riffles

I think if People magazine started a "Gays, they're just like us!" section, the world would see that gay people are just people. Seriously, though, I think then when a person comments on "the gay lifestyle," they have not actually (or knowingly) met a homosexual person. The only thing that separates the"gay lifestyle" and the "straight lifestyle" is who is sleeping with who and when you take that out of the equation all you get are people living their lives the best way they know how. And just like I couldn't give a hot shit about what my hetero neighbor and her husband are doing in the bedroom; I couldn't give a hot shit what two consenting gay adults do in their bedrooms, either. It is only when people (and, honestly, I think it may be the fundies who are most obsessed with this) stop caring about what consenting adults do in their own bedrooms then LGBTQ can stop having to fight for their obvious right to be treated like human beings.

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There's a certain sanctimonious vibe to this for me. I can't help feeling that he enjoyed how 'Christ-like' and 'self-sacrificing' he was being, and I have grave doubts about anyone who makes money from something like this. It's not just stuntish, it feels vaguely unclean somehow. (I could be wrong here, and being judgemental, so bear with me a bit; this an opinion not a 'this is how you should think about what he did.)

But Christ didn't have to become a leper to empathise with lepers. He didn't morph himself into an adulterous woman to see what it was like to run the risk of stoning. (Funny flashback here to the Life of Brian stoning scene).

Also, if I were a gay person, I think that if I had accepted this person into a friendship group or on a team, and understood him to be gay, and worked with him etc. AND then realised that he was not gay, but was putting it on for the experience, especially potentially lucrative experience, I might feel betrayed.

Hmm. Have just written that and replayed it with:

'Also if I were a straight person I think that if I had accepted this person into a friendship group or on a team and understood him to be straight, and worked with him and then realised he was not straight but gay I might feel betrayed'

to check for some sort of peculiar reverse homophobia in my thinking, and decided it isn't the same thing. If someone comes out as gay to straight friends, that's different from what this guy did. In his case there was intent to deceive. He was acting all the time.

What was wrong with just realising he'd been thinking wrong and deciding to change? So much simpler. And more - modest - somehow.

Still trying to weigh this one up.

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It's good that he learned something and wants to share it, but I don't think the end justifies the means.

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There is a strong literary history of writers assuming roles. One of the most recent is the Roose work: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/2 ... 90124.html.

What I think we might look look at is the difference in perspective between Roose and Keurek. Roose very clearly entered Liberty as an objective participant-observer whose goal was to produce a publication from the perspective of an insider. I have read Roose, and found it acceptable.

Keurek, on the other hand, while also a participant-observer, was not the objective observer. Rather, he appears to have wanted to experience what it felt like to be an outsider. I have not read Keurek, but surmise it to be more along the lines of Black Like Me. If he is legitimate, Keurek assumes a much more challenging role than did Roose. I'd like to read it.

I wonder if keurek was at Lu the same time as Roose. It seems like he was trying, unsuccessfully, to do a similar thing

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This experiment also reminds me of Morgan Spurlock's 30 Days. Did anyone else see this episode Straight Man in a Gay World, about a homophobic conservative Christian who went to San Francisco to try to gain insight into the LGBT community?

I think the author has good intentions, but there is one thing that makes me uneasy about his project:

Were the warnings we always got about gays and lesbians based off of theological fact, or conservative, social stereotyping?

This right here is what I see as the main danger of trying to spin the Bible as gay-positive. It implies that if the Bible did take a stand against homosexuality, then it would be perfectly okay for Christians to discriminate against LGBT people. But of course it wouldn't matter if "Thou Shalt Not Be Gay" were one of the Ten Commandments. There's nothing wrong with being gay, no matter what any book says (or doesn't say) about it.

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The LGBT community doesn't need a faux gay xtian speaking for them. The discomfort the author felt at coming out to his parents, i.e. lying, has little to with the real experiences of millions of people in this country. Discomfort is far from the toxicity that families impose on their LBBT relatives when they come out. This 'discomfort' isn't something that will only last a year, because he has the option of saying 'just joking'. Many LGBT individuals find after time that no matter how hard they try they sometimes must sever some family relationships as a matter of their own mental health.

The man played with being queer for a year. BFD

I wouldn't read this book if it were free.

riffle

I am STILL in the closet with 90% of my family for my own mental health and sanity. I learned that lesson real well when I was 19 and my mother suspected I was dating my best friend. I denied it to prevent her from disowning me, but I can still remember the threats. The threats of her calling the police chief and have T. fired from her job (she was a police officer), kicking me out of the house, etc, etc, etc. I kept seeing T but did it on the sly. That wasn't "discomfort", it was outright fear. Fear that my girlfriend would lose a job she loved, that I would lose my home, and subsequently, contact with all my family.

Even to this day, I have not come out. Helps that I am a married, bi-sexual woman who is more attracted to women. I can hide it from my family (my husband knows and is supportive) I don't want all the stress and baggage that comes with coming out. I have to agree: BFD.

This guy couldn't have scratched the surface playing at being gay.

Oh, and btw: I have been fired from a job because I was a lesbian. I bet this dude hasn't had to deal with that.

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I was intrigued by his experiment--until I remembered my revulsion for all those "fat like me" experiments performed by thin, pretty journalists who throw off their "fat suits" and weep, "Oh, you guys--I never knew how HARD life is for you!" Yeah--cry me a river, bitch.

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I can see how it can all go terribly wrong if he tries to become the spokesperson for a group he has no right to speak for. But it sounds like he's trying to address the direct effects of Christian homophobia to the best of his ability. Yeah, it would be a realer experience if a Christian gay person wrote about being gay and a Christian. Or if a non-Christian gay person wrote about dealing with Christians. But I don't understand why this guy shouldn't try to experience as much of the hate as he can, even if his experience is limited, in order to try to convince homophobic Christians to be less homophobic. Can't all three books happen?

I think it also might be helpful because there are some homophobic straight Christians who would never read a book by a gay Christian or anyone else outside their subculture, but they might be willing to read something written by a member of their own group. If being two steps removed helps get a foot in the door and lets them develop a sense of empathy, it might be worth it.

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I do hope that this experience genuinely changed his views for the better, and I hope it genuinely changes the views of people who read this book, who may not have otherwise gotten over the homophobia they'd been taught. I do hope something positive comes of this.

That being said, the whole idea of this book makes me uncomfortable. The idea that he had to work at a gay shop, be on gay teams, be a part of the "culture". Most gay people don't do those things, and there really is no culture requirements. The fact that I'm not a part of the gay culture whatsoever doesn't make me any less gay, and is not a reflection of what it is to be gay. It's all the internal things he's missing when you're just figuring out you're different, or you're debating coming out. I would have been far more interested if he attempted to live his life exactly as it was before he came out, because that is what real LGBT people have to do.

So I hope it makes a positive difference, but it makes me uncomfortable.

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I don't see why this is so controversial. In fact, I think it might be very good. I recently read Black Like Me and loved it. People may say, "He's not gay. How can he write about being gay?" But that's to utterly miss the point of an experiment like this I think. The point is not to tell of the black experience or the gay experience or whatever it might be. The point is to abandon one's social standing and privilege in order to cross into a world that is completely alien, a world where one faces hatred and discrimination because of that one small change. Perhaps it could help him to see that there is nothing innate in these kind of social designations or statuses, but that it leads to a difference in treatment and in experience simply based on the perceptions of others. Perhaps he (and others who read it) will realize that that one quality could change their whole lives, regardless of the character. Maybe that will lead to some compassion. John Howard Griffin was sent hate mail and all sorts of threats after writing his book. He even had to leave his small town for a while, but still he did it because he thought maybe it could lead to change. Maybe this, if done the right way, can lead to a change? Especially since he's an 'insider' to Christians and other people who have been raised conservatively.

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Guest Anonymous
I don't see why this is so controversial. In fact, I think it might be very good. I recently read Black Like Me and loved it. People may say, "He's not gay. How can he write about being gay?" But that's to utterly miss the point of an experiment like this I think. The point is not to tell of the black experience or the gay experience or whatever it might be. The point is to abandon one's social standing and privilege in order to cross into a world that is completely alien, a world where one faces hatred and discrimination because of that one small change. Perhaps it could help him to see that there is nothing innate in these kind of social designations or statuses, but that it leads to a difference in treatment and in experience simply based on the perceptions of others. Perhaps he (and others who read it) will realize that that one quality could change their whole lives, regardless of the character. Maybe that will lead to some compassion. John Howard Griffin was sent hate mail and all sorts of threats after writing his book. He even had to leave his small town for a while, but still he did it because he thought maybe it could lead to change. Maybe this, if done the right way, can lead to a change? Especially since he's an 'insider' to Christians and other people who have been raised conservatively.

The problem is that people in the position of privilege, whether in terms of sexuality or race, use the 'other' as an experience. They toy with it in order to do a bit of navel gazing and learn something about themselves. It's the majority using the minority to learn a lesson that is either incredibly trite ('one small change can make a huge difference!') or something that everyone else managed to learn without the charade ('Hey, maybe it's wrong to be a bigot!').

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I was intrigued by his experiment--until I remembered my revulsion for all those "fat like me" experiments performed by thin, pretty journalists who throw off their "fat suits" and weep, "Oh, you guys--I never knew how HARD life is for you!" Yeah--cry me a river, bitch.

I've seen this guy on they news lately. He actually gained the weight then lost it all. He doesn't sit right with me, either. If he can look incredible, gain a bunch of weight, and then loose it anyone can, right?

http://www.fit2fat2fit.com/

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I see it as sort of class tourism. At least Roose wasn't abdanoning privilege to join a group that has been suppressed.

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It feels like he's using a minority for his own purposes. Whether that's the point or not, he's writing about the gay experience, but his experience is not real or authentic to the gay experience, because he knows it's not real and only temporary. What really bothers me is he's operating on assumptions of what a gay life should include, and people with little exposure to non gay people might think being gay means working at gay establishments and joining gay groups when it does not. I hope it leads to a change, and without having read the book I can't tell how disturbed I'd really be. I feel like if this is the only exposure bigoted people get to LGBT people, then it can do more harm than good. So many integral parts of my experience as a non-straight woman can't be replicated by someone pretending, and people are going to take it as an accurate portrayal. People can be wonderful and accepting and not bigoted without something like this, so I feel like this isn't the right way.

Hopefully I properly articulated why this bothers me, but it boils down to the fact that you can't really abandon your privellege to join a group that has been supressed. I would never pretend to understand what it's like to be black, or disabled, or transgendered, or anything i'm not, no matter what experiment I do.

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Another thing that doesn't sit right with me: he's asking the public for financial support to help him with his experiment.

Hey, all of you who want to find out what it's like to be "other": Fucking ASK US. Few of us bite.

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I was intrigued by his experiment--until I remembered my revulsion for all those "fat like me" experiments performed by thin, pretty journalists who throw off their "fat suits" and weep, "Oh, you guys--I never knew how HARD life is for you!" Yeah--cry me a river, bitch.

Ha, I was thinking of Tyra Banks doing that a few years back when I read this thread.

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Ha, I was thinking of Tyra Banks doing that a few years back when I read this thread.

tyra-banks-fat-suit_l.jpg

Fat Tyra approves of this thread.

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I see it as sort of class tourism. At least Roose wasn't abdanoning privilege to join a group that has been suppressed.

It reminds me of Marie Antoinette and her friends playing peasant in the Hameau de la Reine.

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Another thing that doesn't sit right with me: he's asking the public for financial support to help him with his experiment.

Hey, all of you who want to find out what it's like to be "other": Fucking ASK US. Few of us bite.

:clap: I very rarely bite and would much prefer to be asked then for people to take the word of someone who's just pretending and will profit financially .

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:clap: I very rarely bite and would much prefer to be asked then for people to take the word of someone who's just pretending and will profit financially .

One thing that really bothers me about this is that he really didn't even think to take gays at their word about how hard their life is, he had to "experience" it for himself. It's almost like he doesn't consider homosexuals credible or able to relate their own story. It's very condescending. I might just be taking it the wrong way but I don't really feel like this guy is genuine.

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