"Healthy" Fear of Parents

[Eclipse]

We should count one day and see how many posts Lori has done on the following topics:

Spanking

Pain

Discipline

Her latest post is on a "healthy fear of parents". Funny, I don't think there's anything healthy about your children fearing you.

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2012/ ... -container

Highlights:

Does she really think that the fear of their parents killing them is what keeps kids off drugs? Really? Fear should not be the motivator for doing "right instead of wrong". If it is, what happens when the parents aren't there or the kids don't think they'll find out?

I don't remember any teenager ever saying that their parents would kill them for doing drugs as the reason they didn't do them. The reasons I remember people giving as a teenager were they didn't want to screw up the plans they have for themselves or they aren't interested in drugs.

I agree with the previous posters who said that there is no such thing as a healthy fear of one's parents. I was never afraid of my parents, the closest would be I was afraid of disappointing them that time I got a B on a math test but they instead were supportive.

Almost every teen I have ever met that were not afraid of their parents didn't do drugs, get pregnant or impregnate someone, drop out of school, shoplift, drink in excess.

[JesusFightClub]

Shames me to admit it, did aerosols at school. they told us not to

[JesusFightClub]

sorry re shit posts, new phone. I relate to a lot of what Kitty says abt Hometown

Mine was like that as well ande I have ADD and am extremely impulsive

so someone says lets charge the poli

ce line or lets try aerosols I get "goid idea"

[reckoner]

These people have the moral reasoning of children. If anyone is familiar with Lawrence Kohlberg's stages of moral development, these people fit right into the first stage (obedience and punishment driven) and certainly none have made it past stage four (authority and social order obedience driven). They are externally motivated and egocentric. There's a big difference between not doing something because you're scared of punishment and doing something because you want to be a good person and do what is right. Parents should want kids that are intrinsically motivated to do good. It's normal for little kids to fear punishment, but when they get older they're going to face situations that aren't so clear-cut with set punishments. I'd want my (hypothetical) kids to be able to handle that. But then that involves letting kids think for themselves...

If anyone's interested, here's the wiki article on Kohlberg's stages:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_K ... evelopment