A Man's Greatest Need

[dairyfreelife]

And here I thought she seemed almost "normal".

mtfw.net/a-mans-greatest-need

Women are natural “lovers†not “respecters†and a man’s core need is respect not love.

I never understood this and likely never will since I'd hope to loved and respected in a marriage. The idea that women don't need to really be respected and men don't really need to be loved is just so out in left field I can't make head or tail of the concept.

[RR88]

In my opinion, men and women both need love and respect. The fundie obsession with attributing universal characteristics to specific genders is strange to me.

[uber frau]

By that logic we'd all be better off in a lesbian relationship then?

There's a favoured fundy marriage book called "Love and respect" that spouts this crap. Going by how popular it is, I'm pretty sure she didn't think up that line herself, she's just parroting back what she's heard.

[Terrie]

I always thought a man's greatest need was oxygen. ;)

[CynicMom]

If

Women are natural “lovers†not “respecters†and a man’s core need is respect not love.

then every man would be a lot happier in a gay relationship. Maybe this is why they hate gays so much.

[Visionoyahweh]

"To blow his load" is the first thing that popped into my male mind. Silly me, it's actually to have your creepy wife fall all over herself needing you.

[TXDuck]

Once again, black/white thinking with no sane option is on display.

Seriously, why, in a marriage or marriage-like relationship, do fundies uphold this X for woman, Y for man and nare the twain shall meet? How are they not all horribly unhappy and dissatisfied?

If you are married, you both need respect and love. Ideally, the other person "earned" both BEFORE you got married. AKA, if you don't already love and respect said person and they don't already love and respect you, don't get married.

[Kaylee]

The whole love/respect thing seems to be repeated in tons of marriage books, even fairly secular ones.

I don't get it, both are nice, but respect is more important to me and I don't think you can truly love someone without respecting them as well.

Sometimes I think it comes down to one thing - people need to feel totally accepted, but instead of putting it that way they break it down into 2 different concepts and gender the hell out of it.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

This mentality is destructive, and it's total BS that women don't need respect. It's more like fundie/patriarchal assholes don't feel the need to respect women, so they convince the women that it's not necessary. Love should ideally include respect for the other. If not, the fundie man is basically choosing to define love the way he sees fit - up to and including physical harm, because the implication of "love" without "respect" is that the "loving" man gets to violate all of his wife's boundaries as he sees fit. A lot of positive-sounding things get thus twisted in fundiedom. "Protection" = domination, "teaching" = abuse, etc.

And I've run into more than a few couples in which the man "loves" - in his own fucked-up way - but does not respect his wife/partner. It is fairly common in relationships with a fixation on traditional gender roles, I find, but it is NOT a good situation.

[ladypuglover]

Wait. :shock: I thought PP said a man's greatest need was to pee standing up? :? What is with a man wanting girly things like love and respect? :snooty: Not buying it. Men want to pee against walls, grunt and cook meat over fire. :roll: :lol:

My husband has my unending love and respect but I have his also. It has to go both ways or neither party will get anything.

[CanadianHippie]

Wait. :shock: I thought PP said a man's greatest need was to pee standing up? :? What is with a man wanting girly things like love and respect? :snooty: Not buying it. Men want to pee against walls, grunt and cook meat over fire. :roll: :lol:

My husband has my unending love and respect but I have his also. It has to go both ways or neither party will get anything.

A man who wants to cook anything in anyway, even meat over a fire, has obviously been infected with Teh Gayz and needs immediate treatment. He should be requiring his slave wife to do it for him.

[margiebargie]

I always thought a man's greatest need was oxygen. ;)

That'd be my vote. Followed by food and water.

[doggie]

I don't enjoy my wife loving me I only want her to worship my feet.

[CelticGoddess]

"To blow his load" is the first thing that popped into my male mind. Silly me, it's actually to have your creepy wife fall all over herself needing you.

I was thinking the same thing.

Ya know, there are some men that think that respect is spelled S-E-X.

[aubrietta]

This was the premis behind all the marriage teaching and counselling I received when I married my husband and when we hit hard times. We went to seminar put on by the church, and in the break out time where we were supposed to sit with our spouse and answer questions etc...my husband said really sadly, "You spend so much time trying to respect me and I really want to be loved." It was heartbreaking and a light going on sort of moment for us in regards to how fucked up the whole system was. It wasn't long after that we began our exit. It has taken us years to get over that crappy foundation and system for relating to each other though.

[kpmom]

Where do fundies get these "truisms"? "Men want respect, while women want love." and "Men are more visual and therefore easier to defraud."

I see these sorts of statements repeated on so many fundy blogs. Are there any, ANY studies behind these statements? Or is it a matter of repeating something often enough and it is eventually believed?

[doggie]

It was heartbreaking and a light going on sort of moment for us in regards to how fucked up the whole system was. It wasn't long after that we began our exit. It has taken us years to get over that crappy foundation and system for relating to each other though.

glad to see you dodged that bullet.

[Elle]

Why do love and respect have to be exclusive of each other? I think the best relationships have a hefty dose of both.

[doggie]

Why do love and respect have to be exclusive of each other? I think the best relationships have a hefty dose of both.

well men and woman don't need both just ask Dougie. I know silly isn't it.