Can Kelly Bradrick Escape Her Life?

[debrand]

I don't think she is abused by normal standards, at least not that we know of, but she has a husband who is known for bad ideas. Like leaving her pregnant with a housefull of toddlers (and no hot water) while he spends a small fortune on a cruise ship in the Amazon. Or dragging her across Europe days after she gave birth to her fourth child in four years, which led to an emergency hospitalization for her. Shit like that. It is fair to say that her life is hell and her husband an overgrown boy determined to impregnate her as often as possible. She had to have conceived this one just a few weeks after being hospitalized for a post-partum hemorrhage, so Peter does not sound like the most caring guy.

Oh my, she gave birth in May 2011 and was hospitalized during the summer.

edited due to spell check

[apple1]

Oh my, she gave birth in May 2011 and was hospitalized during the summer.

Why was she hospitalized during the summer? A miscarriage or something?

[apple1]

I don't know if anyone thinks that she is in a physically abusive marriage. You might have gotten that impression from my post in which I stated that I 'd rather stay in an abusive marriage then leave my kids. My statement was not meant to describe the Bradrick's marriage. Sorry about that.

I'm not sure her situation is any less abusive than the woman who is getting physically abused.

[debrand]

Why was she hospitalized during the summer? A miscarriage or something?

A hemorrhage. Her husband took her to Europe right after the birth of their daughter and she apparently almost died.

Her five children are all very close in age. Peter and Kelly married in 2006

[emmiedahl]

Why was she hospitalized during the summer? A miscarriage or something?

For a postpartum hemorrhage caused by gallivanting across Europe with four small children instead of resting like a normal person.

[apple1]

For a postpartum hemorrhage caused by gallivanting across Europe with four small children instead of resting like a normal person.

Thanks for the info.

[debrand]

For a postpartum hemorrhage caused by gallivanting across Europe with four small children instead of resting like a normal person.

How long would it take her to recuperate after a postpartum hemorrhage? Would doctors advise her to wait to have more children?

[Wolfie]

How long would it take her to recuperate after a postpartum hemorrhage? Would doctors advise her to wait to have more children?

I don't know about Kelly's situation, but a friend of mine was told to NOT have any more children because it was likely to happen again after a hemorrhage. I do not know if it was the same cause or not.

[emmiedahl]

How long would it take her to recuperate after a postpartum hemorrhage? Would doctors advise her to wait to have more children?

When I had one after my 3rd child, I was told that I needed to rest and also to wait another 6 weeks before sex so everything could heal. My doctor had been strongly recommending getting some permanent birth control for a while because I have hard deliveries, and in general the babies get bigger and the blood loss greater with each successive birth. I did end up having two more, but I left much more space between them.

[margiebargie]

I don't think she is abused by normal standards, at least not that we know of, but she has a husband who is known for bad ideas. Like leaving her pregnant with a housefull of toddlers (and no hot water) while he spends a small fortune on a cruise ship in the Amazon. Or dragging her across Europe days after she gave birth to her fourth child in four years, which led to an emergency hospitalization for her. Shit like that. It is fair to say that her life is hell and her husband an overgrown boy determined to impregnate her as often as possible. She had to have conceived this one just a few weeks after being hospitalized for a post-partum hemorrhage, so Peter does not sound like the most caring guy.

I don't know what that means, but Kelly's situation sure looks abusive to me. It's not like he's just obtuse - he flat out doesn't give a crap about her health or well-being. If my husband routinely left me without hot water...wow...I can't even imagine such a scenario. In their arrangement, he's the one in charge. If he told her to stay home and rest up, she'd stay home and rest up.

This just makes me even more grateful I had the mom I had. She was tough and knew how to stand up for herself. And it makes me very grateful for the husband I have - who took great care of me and our baby girl through a very difficult pregnancy. I just can't imagine what life must be like for poor Kelly.

[jeansonly]

Thanks for the explanations. Sounds like a form of abuse to me. He sounds like a major douche bag.

[lilith]

I had three babies in under four years in my first marriage, and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that it was the break from pregnancy and my youngest being a little older (almost one when I left) that allowed me to leave.

Although the relationship was getting worse and worse and more and more abusive, it was damn near impossible to walk whilst both being pregnant and having babies to care for, and with no independent income. And that's with a family that was 100% supportive, although quite a distance away.

If Kelly got a break in the pregnancies she may take that chance to reevaluate. She certainly looks miserable. But when you are pregnant or have young babies the familiar can be very seductive, even if it is unhealthy and making you unhappy. It's not so simple to just walk away, especially if she views him as a good father.

[NurseNell]

VF is like an octopus. If you read about the shit storm Douggie and Peter Bradrick rained down on the Epsteins, it's highly unlikely Kelly would even consider leaving.

No kidding. I couldn't believe how they were treated.

I wonder if Kelly's birthmother would ever initiate a search for her? I seriously doubt that Kelly would initiate a search. I've done 100 or so successful searches. If I had some information to get started I'd certainly try. I think a reunion with her birthmother might be one thing to wake her up to smell the roses but I really think she is so brainwashed she'll never leave.

[NurseNell]

It's hard enough to leave a marriage/home circumstances going south even when you don't have a quiver of preschoolers and a stifling family/religious community. Saddling someone with exhaustion/too many kids is a good way of keeping them at home.

Back in the 80's I had a neighbor who left her abusive husband. They were upper middle class. They had only 2 children. She planned her escape with the help of only one very trusted friend. She escaped and with the then help of her out of state family was able for a long time to keep her whereabouts hidden from her husband. She had documented everything with dates, photos, etc. She did eventually get a divorce. I don't know the long term outcome as I left the area. I wish I knew. I just know she planned very carefully. She also had a profession she could return to eventually.

[NurseNell]

Does she have any non-cult family?

Well, she is adopted. So she could have.

[bananacat]

You don't have to ever hit someone to abuse them. I suspect she is being abused, and not just by her husband. Forcing women to have more children is a common and age-old way to control them. Mainstream abusers often sabotage birth control to get their partner pregnant and "stuck". Fundie abusers do this to the extreme and no matter what they say about blessings and arrows, the primary purpose of having so many kids is to keep the women in line with no means or energy to escape. And I don't really care that the women "agree" to it. Just because they concede doesn't mean it wasn't coerced.

[emmyfair]

You don't have to ever hit someone to abuse them. I suspect she is being abused, and not just by her husband. Forcing women to have more children is a common and age-old way to control them. Mainstream abusers often sabotage birth control to get their partner pregnant and "stuck". Fundie abusers do this to the extreme and no matter what they say about blessings and arrows, the primary purpose of having so many kids is to keep the women in line with no means or energy to escape. And I don't really care that the women "agree" to it. Just because they concede doesn't mean it wasn't coerced.

^^^ THIS. Spot on, Bananacat!

[starfish]

Maybe groups who work with cults could help her.....

[alba]

You don't have to ever hit someone to abuse them. I suspect she is being abused, and not just by her husband. Forcing women to have more children is a common and age-old way to control them. Mainstream abusers often sabotage birth control to get their partner pregnant and "stuck". Fundie abusers do this to the extreme and no matter what they say about blessings and arrows, the primary purpose of having so many kids is to keep the women in line with no means or energy to escape. And I don't really care that the women "agree" to it. Just because they concede doesn't mean it wasn't coerced.

QFT.

It's emotional abuse. She's been brainwashed to believe that this is the only life she can ever have and that dying for it is martyrdom. Her husband controls her life and, as a submissive wife, she can't even say "No" to sex the first time she ovulates after giving birth.

[debrand]

QFT.

It's emotional abuse. She's been brainwashed to believe that this is the only life she can ever have and that dying for it is martyrdom. Her husband controls her life and, as a submissive wife, she can't even say "No" to sex the first time she ovulates after giving birth.

She also has to retain tight control over her own emotions. Admitting that she is frustrated with her kids or overwhelmed would be viewed as weakness by her friends and family. Worse, if she murmurs against having numerous children she could be seen as being a bad mother who doesn't adore her children and Jesus.

[MamaJunebug]

I'm going to go with a totally different answer to the question: I don't think she wants to escape her life, and I think she's making that decision with as clear a mind as most of us have in our mid- to late-20s.

My reasoning follows:

1. Her own mother had four children fairly close together, and while Deborah (Kelly's mother) didn't have the physical stress of birthing those children, she can still tell Kelly that this is all part of the process and will pass, one day.

2. Deborah and Scott live near Kelly and BRADRICK, AFAIK, and Deb, Claudia and any number of starry-eyed congregants from Hope Father Idolizing Church are no doubt there to give Kelly what support she needs when BRADRICK is gone, which as we know is quite a lot.

3. Kelly may be sickly now, but she *is* the princess of VF and the FIC culture, and TPTB are not going to lose such a photogenic figurehead after having groomed her for the past decade, plus, to be their spokesmodel. IOW I think any ideas of her as truly beleaguered homemaker and mother of 5 under 5 are just part of our concerned imaginations.

Well, there you have it - a counterpoint to the points being made so far. Ah, where is KISA when we need him/her? Betcha dollar he has insights on Kelly's life and frame of mind.

[Peas n carrots]

I'm going to go with a totally different answer to the question: I don't think she wants to escape her life, and I think she's making that decision with as clear a mind as most of us have in our mid- to late-20s.

My reasoning follows:

1. Her own mother had four children fairly close together, and while Deborah (Kelly's mother) didn't have the physical stress of birthing those children, she can still tell Kelly that this is all part of the process and will pass, one day.

2. Deborah and Scott live near Kelly and BRADRICK, AFAIK, and Deb, Claudia and any number of starry-eyed congregants from Hope Father Idolizing Church are no doubt there to give Kelly what support she needs when BRADRICK is gone, which as we know is quite a lot.

3. Kelly may be sickly now, but she *is* the princess of VF and the FIC culture, and TPTB are not going to lose such a photogenic figurehead after having groomed her for the past decade, plus, to be their spokesmodel. IOW I think any ideas of her as truly beleaguered homemaker and mother of 5 under 5 are just part of our concerned imaginations.

Well, there you have it - a counterpoint to the points being made so far. Ah, where is KISA when we need him/her? Betcha dollar he has insights on Kelly's life and frame of mind.

I agree completely. Yes Kelly is pumping the kids out on a yearly basis and has to be married to a tool like BRADRICK, but the flip side probably isn't so bad for her. Anyways, where would she go if she left? I'm sure the thought has never even crossed her mind...remember KISA said that Kelly is just as nutty as Sippy Cup. The more kids she has and the more celebrity from the ass kissers she gets the means the more confident in her life choice she is going to be.

If she does have come to the realization of wtf she has got herself into, it's going to be down the road a few years and if she (medically or otherwise) is done-zo having kids. She probably doesn't have time to think of much else than taking care of what she has right now.

[wallfly]

I don't think it was mentioned in this thread but her third son Loyal was born early by c-section because of a prolapsed cord. With complications from the last 3 births you would think that her parents would be concerned for all involved. But they bred her to be submissive even unto death. Scary life to live for Kelly.

ot: Doug's new food video on his blog is by invite only. I guess he can't take a little snark.

[hoipolloi]

Ingrid at Semper Eadem has put up an excellent post Kelly & how she's been completely let down (or put down) by the men in her life: ingridgraceandaudrey.blogspot.com/2012/06/portrait-of-lady.html

[TMS]

She could model. You know, like Candy Brauer claims she did back in the day...

Lingerie