Can Kelly Bradrick Escape Her Life?

[debrand]

If Kelly wanted to leave her current marriage, how would she escape? Reading through the thread about her newest son, I can't help but feel discouraged at her chances for leaving the Vision Forum Cult. Even if she wanted to leave, everyone around her would support her husband and strongly encourage her to remain. She has no marketable skills and I wouldn't put it past the Vision Forum members(even her dad) to lie so that her husband could retain custody of their children. Her family would probably not support her choice to leave her husband. With absolutely no support system, how could she leave her marriage and restart again? Would she have to break all ties or flee with the kids?

[ophelia]

I somehow doubt that she would really want that.

[ElphabaGalinda]

The only way she could escape is to break all ties and feel with her kids. Even if she did that, she wouldn't know how to survive in the outside world, and she'd really need someone on the outside helping her, or I don't think she could do it. And I think for her to make that kind of sacrifice something horrible and extreme would have to happen.So I think she'll stay forever, the most likely outcome being something bad happening because of the constant babies. I'm kinda hoping one of her children would be able to escape if they wanted some day.

[Witsec7]

VF is like an octopus. If you read about the shit storm Douggie and Peter Bradrick rained down on the Epsteins, it's highly unlikely Kelly would even consider leaving.

[fundiefan]

If she wants to she can.

[StarrieEyedKat]

I don't see how. She's got a brood of small children, how would she just walk away? How would she support herself and her kids? Her family certainly wouldn't help.

[debrand]

If she wants to she can.

One of my friends was being abused by her husband, she made plans to leave and started taking classes so that she could support their children. Because we moved, I lost touch with her but she was in the process of leaving her husband. She had a supportive family and was intelligent enough to make plans behind her husband's back. Kelly doesn't have the same family support or the real world skills of my friend. I suppose that she could go to a shelter if she is being physically abused but are there any resources for people fleeing a cult?

And would she get custody of their children? I wouldn't put it past Doug to lie for Peter.

If somehow I met her and she miraculously confided that she wanted to leave, I would advise her to document every crazy thing that she could about Vision Forum, including how often Peter is gone and the fact that he doesn't seem to help her much.

[Creaky Mom]

Something is going to have to break or change with either herself or Peter.

I'm hoping some christian nurse will take a moment for a pointed tete a tete. Small things said over time by people both inside and outside the cult, combined with her own exhaustion and a nagging inside voice may give some light. Or maybe a real or imagined power struggle involving her man and VFer's or church where she gets to experience first hand how people act defending their territory. One really never sees the whole atrocity of a cult until outside of it. It could be years and years, meanwhile those poor, poor kids.

Wouldn't it be great if they both woke up one day to what they've been sucked into and got out? But with no marketable skills or education and having made their religion/cult their livelihood, it will be tough.

[debrand]

Not that I want her to do this, but I wonder if she might one day just snap and kill him.

[DarkAnts]

I would slip her a piece of paper with the number for an abused women's shelter on it if I lived near her :-(

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

Something is going to have to break or change with either herself or Peter.

I'm hoping some christian nurse will take a moment for a pointed tete a tete. Small things said over time by people both inside and outside the cult, combined with her own exhaustion and a nagging inside voice may give some light. Or maybe a real or imagined power struggle involving her man and VFer's or church where she gets to experience first hand how people act defending their territory. One really never sees the whole atrocity of a cult until outside of it. It could be years and years, meanwhile those poor, poor kids.

Wouldn't it be great if they both woke up one day to what they've been sucked into and got out? But with no marketable skills or education and having made their religion/cult their livelihood, it will be tough.

About a month ago, Peter posted a rant on his FB about how strong "his woman" was and how she was steadfast in the face of worldly women scorning her, blahblahblah. I get the sense that this might be the result of well-meaning women, perhaps those working in the hospital, pulling her aside and asking her what the heck she was doing having a fifth baby in five years with her history. (Peter's 5-year plan? :?) He wouldn't need to post such a long public "encouragement" if he wasn't worried that the wheels would start turning at least a little.

[tropaka]

It's hard enough to leave a marriage/home circumstances going south even when you don't have a quiver of preschoolers and a stifling family/religious community. Saddling someone with exhaustion/too many kids is a good way of keeping them at home.

[holothuroidea]

It would have to get to the point that being destitute, relying on the charity of others, her children being fatherless, homeless and directionless seemed like much better things than living within the VF cult.

If it were me, I would have gotten to that point a long time ago, because I would rather be dead than live her life. I imagine that Kelly's independent will died a long time ago, and that her level of tolerance for abuse is extremely high. I don't know how bad things would have to be for her to want out. It would probably take something very traumatic happening to her children.

[tabitha2]

Then maybe not even that-they can justify that by saying it was Gods will.

[CrazySister]

I agree with the posters who say she can escape if she really wants to. That being said, I think in order to do that she'd need to face the very real possibility that her family will turn on her, she'll lose her kids, and live in a women's/homeless shelter for a while. But yes, I think anyone over 18 can make a break of it if they really want to but they risk losing everything but the clothes off their back if they do it. I think she needs to get to a place where the fear of staying outweighs the fear of probably losing her family & kids.

[Visionoyahweh]

Does she have any non-cult family?

[tabitha2]

Remember you can't free a closed mind .If the door is opened just a crack their is a chance to nudge it open with reason or appeal to their good sense somehow but to quote Arthur Dent, most of these minds and free will.

are in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign outside the door saying "Beware of the Leopard

but the Leopards are named Bradrick or Phillips or Gothard.

[jaynie]

This attitude that women can "just leave" an abusive relationship if they really want to bothers me. Apart from the undertones of victim-blaming, it's not usually that simple. This article pretty neatly sums up the problems with that solution : http://thehathorlegacy.com/why-dont-wom ... e-abusers/ .

Now hopefully Kelly is just (and I use the term loosely) a victim of rampant patriarchy rather than an out-and-out psychopath, but some of those factors do apply regardless (like having nowhere to turn and no income to count on). Plus, if she were to leave it would presumably be because she knew something about her lifestyle wasn't right, and I can't imagine how incredibly hard it would be to leave five children in a situation you *knew* was bad, knowing you might not ever get custody of them.

[debrand]

If my only choices were freedom without my children and remaining in an abusive relationship with my children, I'd stay in the abusive relationship. :cry:

I won't judge anyone who makes a different choice but I couldn't leave my children with someone who might hurt them. What an awful choice.

[browngrl]

I think that if she ever wanted to leave - that time has passed. When she was single with no children, it would have been difficult to leave but now with so many children under 5 the energy required to leave may be(and likely is) more than any ordinary person can muster. I think that her life is like a black hole - it sucks up all the light and energy up and nothing can escape its' gravitational pull. I think that the only way she can survive now is to convince herself that this is the best life and that it is her choice. I predict that she will become more and more legalistic and militant about this lifestyle. What a waste.

[jeansonly]

Can someone give me the back story to this woman? I know who she is vaguely but am wondering what has been said/done that makes people think she is abused and not just in a "normal" fundy patriarchal relationship?

Not that it wouldn't be nice to see her get out either way. I can't imagine living the way these fundy women live. *shiver*

[margiebargie]

This attitude that women can "just leave" an abusive relationship if they really want to bothers me. Apart from the undertones of victim-blaming, it's not usually that simple. This article pretty neatly sums up the problems with that solution : http://thehathorlegacy.com/why-dont-wom ... e-abusers/ .

Now hopefully Kelly is just (and I use the term loosely) a victim of rampant patriarchy rather than an out-and-out psychopath, but some of those factors do apply regardless (like having nowhere to turn and no income to count on). Plus, if she were to leave it would presumably be because she knew something about her lifestyle wasn't right, and I can't imagine how incredibly hard it would be to leave five children in a situation you *knew* was bad, knowing you might not ever get custody of them.

Great article. It's a good reminder of what these women are really up against. It's not just a matter of breaking up with somebody.

Poor Kelly. Her situation is so sad.

[emmiedahl]

I don't think she is abused by normal standards, at least not that we know of, but she has a husband who is known for bad ideas. Like leaving her pregnant with a housefull of toddlers (and no hot water) while he spends a small fortune on a cruise ship in the Amazon. Or dragging her across Europe days after she gave birth to her fourth child in four years, which led to an emergency hospitalization for her. Shit like that. It is fair to say that her life is hell and her husband an overgrown boy determined to impregnate her as often as possible. She had to have conceived this one just a few weeks after being hospitalized for a post-partum hemorrhage, so Peter does not sound like the most caring guy.

[apple1]

Can someone give me the back story to this woman? I know who she is vaguely but am wondering what has been said/done that makes people think she is abused and not just in a "normal" fundy patriarchal relationship?

Not that it wouldn't be nice to see her get out either way. I can't imagine living the way these fundy women live. *shiver*

5 kids under the age of 5. 2nd youngest just turned one year old (she had hemorrhaged and had to be airlifted with that birth). Youngest one around 5 weeks early and in the NICU (other circumstances not known by me). No opportunity to either use BC or to even be abstinent, even temporarily.

In what I would call an extreme version of a patriarchal marriage.

Apparently besides all that, she has spent a significant period of time having to heat water (for bathing, etc) on top of a stove because of not having reliable hot water. Not sure what else.

This is not going to end well. Gives me the shivers just thinking about it.

[debrand]

Can someone give me the back story to this woman? I know who she is vaguely but am wondering what has been said/done that makes people think she is abused and not just in a "normal" fundy patriarchal relationship?

Not that it wouldn't be nice to see her get out either way. I can't imagine living the way these fundy women live. *shiver*

I don't know if anyone thinks that she is in a physically abusive marriage. You might have gotten that impression from my post in which I stated that I 'd rather stay in an abusive marriage then leave my kids. My statement was not meant to describe the Bradrick's marriage. Sorry about that.