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Kody Brown: None of My Wives Can Satisfy ALL Of My Needs


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Would the other mom's know them well enough to get presents for them? How well does, say, Meri know about what kind of toy Christine's son wants? Maybe they just have each mom buy her kids presents, then sign them with something like "From Dad and all your Moms".

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Maybe it goes by the number and ages of the kids?

For instance, Meri wouldn't need nearly as much money to buy gifts for her one daughter as Janelle or Christine would need to buy gifts for all their children.

I know in some families that have a wide variation of ages, the older ones get 1-2 more costly items and the smaller children get more smaller items because they cost less.

Example: My friend's step-daughter got an ipod and an iphone4S for her birthday but her younger step-sister got a boat load of Prettiest Petshop (I think that's right? No clue, I have tiny boys) that cost $5-10 bucks each.

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Littlest Pet Shop :) Can you tell I have a little girl?

I do the same thing. Older kids get nicer presents because they like more expensive tech-y things. Santa got my baby a $5 set of those stacking rings and a cheap plastic ball for Christmas and the kid still plays with them almost every day.

Granted, this is a half-Jewish household so Christmas is not such a big deal. I do make sure the children all get that thing they really want though.

eta: an iphone and an ipod? Isn't that redundant?

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Umm Notice how Kody now has a flashy new car and his wives continue to drive POS's? When our family needed a new car, we got one that would work best for the family which is why we have a nice new mini van, and a really old Olds. See we can drive the mini van on vacation, to school, and still have a nice car for date night.

To everything there is a season: A time for fun sports cars and a time for the minivan/SUV. Kody is NOT in the time for the sports car. I mean if it was a hybrid or had some super economy feature like that, but no.

Usually when you are "gifted" a car (Wonder if it's like the "free Mary Kay car" for more info see pinktruth.com) you get some ability to pick said car, or a cash bonus.

Has anyone read the book? Is it worth shelling out the dough?

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Umm Notice how Kody now has a flashy new car and his wives continue to drive POS's? When our family needed a new car, we got one that would work best for the family which is why we have a nice new mini van, and a really old Olds. See we can drive the mini van on vacation, to school, and still have a nice car for date night.

To everything there is a season: A time for fun sports cars and a time for the minivan/SUV. Kody is NOT in the time for the sports car. I mean if it was a hybrid or had some super economy feature like that, but no.

Usually when you are "gifted" a car (Wonder if it's like the "free Mary Kay car" for more info see pinktruth.com) you get some ability to pick said car, or a cash bonus.

Has anyone read the book? Is it worth shelling out the dough?

A snarkily hilarious summary can be found at

http://sisterwivesblog.blogspot.com/

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My only knowledge of these people or this show comes from the FJ forum. I dad, however read "Escape" by Carolyn Jessop. Many of the questions that have been asked in this thread were addressed and explained in her book. I do have some observations.

1.The money thing is very weird. In theory, the man has control of all of the money that every one brings on and that everyone pays out. In practice, it is far more disorganized than this. When a man is distracted by several wives, growing numbers of children and the business outside the home of money making and wife acquistion, it is simply impossible for him to keep the unweildy system under control. Sometimes he needs to either rein in control or give up control to prevent mutiny.

2. The whole system is filled with expectations that cannot be met. The man cannot meet the needs of any of the women. The Patriarchal system absolves the man of responsibilty to make any of his wives happy, but the practicality is that the man throws crumbs to each of them for the purpose of appeasment. Also, women begin to use sex and fertility as a kind of currency to gain favor with the man.

3. The man is in a perpeual state of adolescence. They have created the social millieu of high school inside their homes. (Use you imagination)

4. It is unlikely that there are alternative sexual encounters. Part of the power that the man has over the woman is the constant doubt that she feels because she does not know the nature of te sexual relationship between the man and the other wives. Part of the power that the wives hold over one another is the very same doubt. Don't forget that the system is very judgemental and keep the women-folk extremely fearful and naive about the wonders of sexuality. There is no obligation for the man to give the woman a sexually satisfying experience. The woman are afraid to enjoy sex. I am sure that groups (and even women pleasuring one another) occur in some polygamous households, but because of the way they are brainwashed and because of the delicate power structure, it would be very rare....and very destablizing. The woman knws that her time alone with the man is her time to exert power. She does so by hoping the man is plased and by maximizing her chances to become pregnant.

5. Women are sometimes given temporary power over their own money in order to give her the illusion that she is favored in some way and she is less likely to "rebel". Just like the more traditionally married fundamentalists, the polygamists are really big into labeling anyone who thinks independently as a person in rebellion who needs to be quashed. The leash is given slack and then reigned in at the whim of the dictator...um...husband.

6. Only one of the women is legally married to the man. Sometimes none of them are. That makes all of them potentially able to collect sustinance from the government. They feel little need to participate or to respect the government. However, they see themselves as totally justified in taking from the government things that they need.

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I dad, however read "Escape" by Carolyn Jessop.

Isn't that book about the FLDS though? The Browns belong to a different sect of Mormonism that allows polygamy (it's called the AUB, I think?) The trick is reading between the lines of what they say on the show and figuring out what the similarities and differences between the AUB, FLDS, and regular Mormonism are. For instance, I find it interesting that Janelle has said she is in favor of same sex marriage (I can't remember if any of the others said if they were for or against it), which is definitely not keeping with FLDS or mainstream Mormonism's stance on the issue. But even though she's for it, that doesn't automatically mean the AUB says it's okay either (just as some mainstream Mormons are in favor of it, even though the Mormon church is against)

Basically, the Browns get the benefit of the doubt a lot because they can honestly say "Hey, we're different than the FLDS!" but no one knows enough about the group they are part of to figure out just how different they are.

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Meri's little talk with Christine reminded me of "keep sweet" from the FLDS.

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I would go a step further and argue that anyone who claims their partner fulfills ALL of their needs is not in a very healthy place. My husband and I have our "together" life, which is first and foremost our lives and history as a couple, our lives together as parents - basically the "us". Then he has a career and friends that don't have anything to do with me, and I have the same thing going on. We have several separate interests. I love hiking, for instance. Husband does not. So I have a group of friends I hike with (and socialize with, as well), and he plays tennis and socializes with his friends. I have BFF, who is a very important person in my life, and fulfills a whole set of needs for me that husband is not equipped to fulfill.

So I totally agree that most people benefit from a number of different kinds of relationships, and no one person should be expected to meet ALL the needs for any other person.

Yes, but having what you describe above requires that a couple have TRUST in each other, and from reading about a lot of the people we follow on here, they just don't have that. Especially when it comes to having friends of both sexes.

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Umm Notice how Kody now has a flashy new car and his wives continue to drive POS's? When our family needed a new car, we got one that would work best for the family which is why we have a nice new mini van, and a really old Olds. See we can drive the mini van on vacation, to school, and still have a nice car for date night.

To everything there is a season: A time for fun sports cars and a time for the minivan/SUV. Kody is NOT in the time for the sports car. I mean if it was a hybrid or had some super economy feature like that, but no.

Usually when you are "gifted" a car (Wonder if it's like the "free Mary Kay car" for more info see pinktruth.com) you get some ability to pick said car, or a cash bonus.

Has anyone read the book? Is it worth shelling out the dough?

I'm not so sure he actually "earned" or "won" that car legitimately. Something tells me the MLM "gifted" Grody that car to make it look attainable thus attracting new marks.

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Isn't that book about the FLDS though? The Browns belong to a different sect of Mormonism that allows polygamy (it's called the AUB, I think?) The trick is reading between the lines of what they say on the show and figuring out what the similarities and differences between the AUB, FLDS, and regular Mormonism are. For instance, I find it interesting that Janelle has said she is in favor of same sex marriage (I can't remember if any of the others said if they were for or against it), which is definitely not keeping with FLDS or mainstream Mormonism's stance on the issue. But even though she's for it, that doesn't automatically mean the AUB says it's okay either (just as some mainstream Mormons are in favor of it, even though the Mormon church is against)

Basically, the Browns get the benefit of the doubt a lot because they can honestly say "Hey, we're different than the FLDS!" but no one knows enough about the group they are part of to figure out just how different they are.

I did not get into the Warren Jeffs biszarrenss, just the dynamics of a religious based ploygamous system. In that way, I would think they are very similar.

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Remember the episode when Kody took Robyn to a wild-animal park? The tour guide told them that hippos are polygamous. "Just like humans!" gushed Polyboy. I just read up on hippos. They don't seem awfully intelligent or interesting, bless their hearts: they hang out in the water, graze, copulate, and give birth--so I guess they're just like SOME humans.

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Oh yes, because he is just SUCH a catch. Really? He has 4 beautiful, smart wives and they're NOT ENOUGH? Really? Jackass.

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