What does Daddy say?

[dairyfreelife]

Daddy's always right, Mommy isn't smart enough to understand and her views are wrong...the end.

indulgentaromas.blogspot.com/2012/05/what-does-daddy-say.html

Thing is, sometimes, you don't see things the way your hubby sees them. They are much less emotional. Much more clear cut in their thinking. There have been many situations in which my hubby had a different opinion than I did about something....and many times I did what I wanted, only to be disappointed later.

I have learned to trust his judgement, because it has saved me a lot of embarrassment in many different situations that I have bit my tongue to submit to him. Many situations could have resulted in disaster because of my need to be my own boss and voice my, very important, opinion.

Thing is that we, as women, don't think like men. What we see as cute, he sees as an outfit revealing his precious little girl to men with sexual natures.

Maybe it's your son that wants to play guns and war and you are adamantly opposed but your hubby says it's ok. Do you consider that, while women don't necessarily understand 'violence', that he's training him to lead and protect?

Think back to when women stood behind their men.....less divorce, happier marriages, children that behaved and respected authority, etc......sure it was the old days, but weren't families happier then???

[alba]

I don't always see things the same as my partner because we're DIFFERENT PEOPLE. In some cases he's the more emotional one and I'm the more logical, sometimes it's reversed.

The comments about children are just ridiculous.

"When women stood behind their men" there was less divorce, yes, because women who were unhappy in their marriages weren't allowed to seek divorces. Children "behaved and respected authority" because they were terrified of being punished and so refrained from developmentally-appropriate behaviour.

[Cannelle]

It's really gross hearing a woman talk about her husband like he's HER father, and she's a small, mindless child.

[TXDuck]

Think back to when women stood behind their men.....less divorce, happier marriages, children that behaved and respected authority, etc......sure it was the old days, but weren't families happier then???

No, they were not. They may be looking conforming and divorce certainly was harder to come by. But that in no way translates to "everyone was happier".

[Mela99]

Think back to when women stood behind their men.....less divorce, happier marriages, children that behaved and respected authority, etc......sure it was the old days, but weren't families happier then???

Pfft.... Says who? Doesn't automatically equate to happiness. How many families had an option about staying together, regardless of what happened?

There is a reason you never back up anything you say with facts, evidence, etc: YOU KNOW YOU'RE TALKING OUT YOUR ASS.

[doggie]

Much less emotional? ever hear of sports? woman, guns, trucks, and other boy toys???

[2xx1xy1JD]

I see the egocentric logical fallacy is alive and well.

Maybe SHE is overly emotional or some sort of moron who would get into all sorts of trouble if her hubby didn't save the day, but please don't apply that assumption to the rest of us.

I'm actually the one more likely to be cool-headed, while hubby is more emotional. Neither is a bad thing, btw. We have complementary styles.

Does she realize that you could rewrite the whole post in a way that doesn't require women, and only women, to roll over and play dead? It would look something like this:

"As parents, we sometimes face competing demands from our spouses and children. In sorting this out, keep in mind the following:

1. There is a difference between genuine needs and wants. New babies, for example, NEED to eat and can't be kept waiting while everyone else is served and eats. On the other hand, a tween WANTS the latest style. Needs can be prioritized over wants.

2. One of the needs that children have, whether or not they realize it, is for peace and stability at home. They need their parents to act as a united front, so that the parents can act as parents, and the children are not thrust into a parental role. It's not good for children to feel caught in the middle between their parents, or to exploit differences in order to gain their own way.

3. In some situations, you have no choice and clearly need to protect a child's safety. If that's not the case, though, don't undermine the other parent. Discuss any point of disagreement privately, out of earshot of the children.

4. Get into the habit of saying, "let me discuss it first with mom/dad" before giving an answer to your child.

5. Do NOT place the other parent in an awkward position. The discussion about a decision should not take place in front of the children. Do not say, "what's for dinner - how about pizza?" in front of the kids, because it will then be impossible to tell them that there is already a perfectly healthy dinner available at home.

6. Treat your spouse with respect. It will set a good example for the kids. Why should they respect either of you if you don't show respect to each other?

7. In private discussion of parenting issues, focus on the issue at hand and listen to your spouse with an open mind. You may have different styles. That's not a bad thing, and it means that you may each bring a unique perspective. Your children will benefit from the well-rounded approach of multiple perspectives.

8. Pick your battles. If your partner has strong feelings on an issue, don't force it if it's not important."

[kpmom]

Enjoyed this comment;

Lisa Hurst

I love this! What a great reminder on why the Lord calls us to be in submission. I don't have so much a problem with submission...It has evolved into something that is pretty natural for me now.(But of course I'm not perfect :) However, people around me tend to speak negatively about they way our marriage is.You know the people right? Those same people ask me how are you still so happy and what is our secret..... HMMMMMM duh! Keep up the great posts I really love reading your blog :)

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How many people around her truly speak negatively of her marriage, I really wonder? I wouldn't make comments about even my closest friends marriages, unless there is abuse involved. I'm thinking more along the lines of her pushing her submissive crap in people's faces, and them disagreeing. Otherwise, who would honestly care how they live their lives?

[ceg045]

Where the fuck do these people come from? How stupid do you have to be to think that just because there were fewer divorces (because they were difficult, if not nearly impossible, to get just a few generations ago, for both legal and social reasons), people were happier? Even in my fairly conservative Catholic education, we knew this stuff from elementary school.

[mebeforee]

These are just excuses that people make up to validate the lifestyle they have chosen... when I read people writing about the whole submission thing objectively, they usually are like "you have to submit because it is what God wants, and God's approval is most important, not your thoughts or feelings or safety or the fact that your husband is a moron! you have to accept that God just wants you to follow a moron!", etc. But then when they are actually faced with the situation where they realize their husband isn't Jesus, they find these ways to destroy their own self-worth because it's the only way they can convince themselves not to slap him... and any time they doubt it, they go online and tell all their friends how to handle this situation so that they'll come in and say "no, you're right! we are just feeble-minded creatures prone to hysteria and sinful pride!" Otherwise their desire for basic human dignity can shatter the illusion that they live in utopia.

[RR88]

Someone had better send me back to the factory; I'm defective! Girls and women "don't necessarily understand violence", but I'm female and I go to the shooting range. :lol:

[2xx1xy1JD]

Apparently, I'm a dude and hubby is female, according to the stereotypes.

I hate jewellery and flowers.

I hate talking on the phone, hubby loves it.

I'm logical, he's emotional.

I take out the garbage and put together the IKEA furniture.

He took parental leave.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

I think her post boils down to "when the boss tells you to do something, and you disregard that and do your own thing, you usually end up regretting it."

Her takeaway from that is "see, it's bad for you to do your own thing" when she really should be questioning why her marriage is a boss-employee relationship.

In a more egalitarian relationship, sometimes they would disagree, and sometimes she would do what she wants and end up regretting it because he was right and he took control, but the other 50% of the time HE would end up regretting it because SHE was right and she took control. There would be give and take, and weighing of battles, and compromises, but in quite a few battles it would be obvious that she should stand her ground, and she would be able to win him over.

She's asking the wrong questions.

[julie paradox]

"No divorce" doesn't mean people stayed together anyway. My grandfather's parents weren't married because his father already had a wife (and then he left the other partner too).

[darareaksmey]

Rubbish. The only reason things seem great to her is because she is not speaking her mind, not causing disagreement, not making waves. If I felt my son should not be playing with guns, I'd certainly have a heated discussion with his dad about it. Just to comply and fade away does NOT solve the problems. It just postpones them till later when they are bound to have morphed into something more stressful.

[Elle]

Think back to when women stood behind their men.....less divorce, happier marriages, children that behaved and respected authority, etc......sure it was the old days, but weren't families happier then???

Back in those days, men were more likely to be away from home for long stretches of time, and divorce wasn't allowed. Families were happy to have enough to eat. Marriages were less about love and more about simply surviving.