What do SAHDs do all day?

[terranova]

I read a few blogs where the girls complain they have no time in their day for blogging. These aren't J'slaves who have to raise their siblings, these are the pampered princesses who wear pretty dresses and drink tea.

I have a husband, a part time job, a baby and a life, but still manage to find time to blog most days.

What can they possibly do that takes up so much time? Making cups of tea, writing bad prose and taking awful photos can't take up 18 hours a day can it?

[Maude]

Some of them either help with or run from-home businesses, but I think the reality is that most of them have nothing of consequence going on. Aside from housework and childcare, they largely seem to fill their days with recreational activities or hobbies which, though keeping them occupied, contribute little. If these young ladies were anyone else, they'd be considered layabouts, but because it's a part of their religion (it's oh so very Christian), people give them a pass. :roll:

[Justme]

I think a lot of them are obsessed with cleaning. They clean things over and over before they get a speck of dust.

[Childless]

People like the Botkin girls do nothing. They prance about doing hobbies. That's fine if that's what you want to do and you have parents that don't mind taking care of your ass your whole life, just don't pretend that you're busy doing something that matters.

[atheistjd]

I know for myself, laziness or simply not having that much to do tends to be a self-perpetuating thing. When I am working 2 jobs, going to school FT and running a publication, I come home and can spends hours cleaning, doing laundry, paying bills, or running errands. When I have been laid off or otherwise have nothing to do all day, it is a massive chore to send out a resume or do the dishes and I often need a nap. Doing nothing useful is exhausting, and business seems to make me much more productive. It is likely that many of these women honestly think they are busy or hard-working because they either never have been or because their schedule is SO empty that any little thing feels like a major hurdle.

[holierthanyou]

I know for myself, laziness or simply not having that much to do tends to be a self-perpetuating thing. When I am working 2 jobs, going to school FT and running a publication, I come home and can spends hours cleaning, doing laundry, paying bills, or running errands. When I have been laid off or otherwise have nothing to do all day, it is a massive chore to send out a resume or do the dishes and I often need a nap. Doing nothing useful is exhausting, and business seems to make me much more productive. It is likely that many of these women honestly think they are busy or hard-working because they either never have been or because their schedule is SO empty that any little thing feels like a major hurdle.

All this! The busier I am, the cleaner my house is and the less likely I am to blow something off because "I don't feel like it"

[Trynn]

I know for myself, laziness or simply not having that much to do tends to be a self-perpetuating thing. When I am working 2 jobs, going to school FT and running a publication, I come home and can spends hours cleaning, doing laundry, paying bills, or running errands. When I have been laid off or otherwise have nothing to do all day, it is a massive chore to send out a resume or do the dishes and I often need a nap. Doing nothing useful is exhausting, and business seems to make me much more productive. It is likely that many of these women honestly think they are busy or hard-working because they either never have been or because their schedule is SO empty that any little thing feels like a major hurdle.

This. When I was unemployed and living at home, I had no energy for anything (although that might've been because I was depressed). Even now while I'm waiting to start my current job, I have things I could be doing, it's just that the lack of structure in my schedule currently makes it more difficult somehow.

[bea]

You know, I'm a stay at home mom. ONe kid in preschool (three mornings a week), one toddler. I have a small house, which I clean (a lot, because small children are inherently sticky), and yard with flowers and some veggies, which I care for. I do the grocery shopping, the bookkeeping, the errand-running. I cook the vast majority of our food from scratch and participate in an organic CSA.

ETA: I'm also the head of our neighborhood association and run the BeatWatch email list, as well as volunteering with my Alderman's office and attending a variety of police-community liaison meetings.

And I still had time to start a business at the beginning of this year. Maybe, like Anna at Domestic Felicity, many of these stay-at-home-daughters have abnormally low energy levels and need a lot of naps?

[Muriel]

I know for myself, laziness or simply not having that much to do tends to be a self-perpetuating thing. When I am working 2 jobs, going to school FT and running a publication, I come home and can spends hours cleaning, doing laundry, paying bills, or running errands. When I have been laid off or otherwise have nothing to do all day, it is a massive chore to send out a resume or do the dishes and I often need a nap. Doing nothing useful is exhausting, and business seems to make me much more productive. It is likely that many of these women honestly think they are busy or hard-working because they either never have been or because their schedule is SO empty that any little thing feels like a major hurdle.

This is very true ! The less you do, the less you want to do (bad translation of a French saying :oops: )

[shesinsane]

Some of them either help with or run from-home businesses, but I think the reality is that most of them have nothing of consequence going on. Aside from housework and childcare, they largely seem to fill their days with recreational activities or hobbies which, though keeping them occupied, contribute little. If these young ladies were anyone else, they'd be considered layabouts, but because it's a part of their religion (it's oh so very Christian), people give them a pass. :roll:

You don't realize how time consuming it can be to pray for the one the Lord has chosen for you to finally get his shit together and contact your father so some courtin' can begin. ;)

[Feberin]

I think they're idea of busy differs from most people. If you've never been truely busy than you're not going to really know how much can be jammed into a single day. However if your entire life has pretty much revolved around keeping yourself occupied with some cleaning and cooking then it might seem like you're super busy when you have simply have a day that involves grocery shopping or a more major cleaning/decluttering project.

[YPestis]

They find things to do like writing essays about how great their life is, publishing books about how great their lifestyle is, sewing, crocheting, doing other womanly arts. There is of course childcare and cleaning and lots and lots of Bible reading and prayer. It may sound boring to us but they were raised with this expectation. I think some of their rants about working woman is a way to justify their own empty lives.

[holierthanyou]

In fairness to SAHDs though, I think it bears mentioning that adult SAHD seem to disproportionately have mothers with "unique coping challenges" (e.g. Think of Sarah Maxwell when her mom went years without being able to cope, the Duggar girls with Michelle obviously passing off everything to them, etc) of their own. So I do believe that many SAHDs work INCREDIBLY hard doing work that they never signed up for in the first place, since they are essentially raising children that their mothers birthed, and then doing all the housework and cooking and everything for those large families. I wouldn't trade my job for an SAHDs job ever.

[Kaylee]

In fairness to SAHDs though, I think it bears mentioning that adult SAHD seem to disproportionately have mothers with "unique coping challenges" (e.g. Think of Sarah Maxwell when her mom went years without being able to cope, the Duggar girls with Michelle obviously passing off everything to them, etc) of their own. So I do believe that many SAHDs work INCREDIBLY hard doing work that they never signed up for in the first place, since they are essentially raising children that their mothers birthed, and then doing all the housework and cooking and everything for those large families. I wouldn't trade my job for an SAHDs job ever.

This. I think a lot of QF parents are so into the SAHD thing because of this - they get all of the recognition for having a big family and being such great mothers, but the older daughters do the majority of the work.

For those whose parents haven't pushed them into or, or without siblings to raise, apparently they spend a lot of time blogging and on pinterest.

[Elle]

I know for myself, laziness or simply not having that much to do tends to be a self-perpetuating thing. When I am working 2 jobs, going to school FT and running a publication, I come home and can spends hours cleaning, doing laundry, paying bills, or running errands. When I have been laid off or otherwise have nothing to do all day, it is a massive chore to send out a resume or do the dishes and I often need a nap. Doing nothing useful is exhausting, and business seems to make me much more productive. It is likely that many of these women honestly think they are busy or hard-working because they either never have been or because their schedule is SO empty that any little thing feels like a major hurdle.

I agree. On days when I have nothing to do, I feel like I'm busy trying to find something to do. It's mentally exhausting, which makes me feel physically drained. On days when I have lots that needs to be done, I'm not as tired. Crossing things off the list is energizing! Today is a day I have nothing to do because I am sick, and I'm drained.

[FearLyss]

I was unemployed for a little bit after college. I returned home and for a bit and while I applied for jobs endlessly (and did eventually find two, both of which I took) but after all that applying, I was incredibly lazy. I helped with chores, but not as much as I could have. During my almost two months unemployment, I didn't work out as much (maybe 3 times a week, if I felt like it). I studied for the GREs and watched college lectures online and felt like they were SO important. I started watching TV more, and that became my routine. Running my little sister to school, dance class, or to the mall became a chore. I felt busy, but now I look back and laugh. WQhen I was in college, I held a full time job, full time class schedule and my own reasearch study. I can't believe how easy it was for me to slip into being a SAHD!

Now, I have a new job and living on my own again. Most days, I have at least one meeting and hopefully time at the office for paperwork. When I get home, I can't relax until dishes are done and everything is neat and clean. I work out every morning and go on walks with my best friend at least twice a week. I read eveynight before bed. I still watch sillly lezctures and watch TV, but that stuff is all secondary to my routine, NOT my routine. I even have more of a social life than I did during my down time (which my mother insisted was needed anyway, lol).

[moreorlessnu]

There's also the fact that they have the time to do whatever chores they do in a leisurely fashion. I doubt Mary Maxwell is scrubbing the kitchen as though she has to do 3 hours worth of chores in 45 minutes.

[atheistjd]

There's also the fact that they have the time to do whatever chores they do in a leisurely fashion. I doubt Mary Maxwell is scrubbing the kitchen as though she has to do 3 hours worth of chores in 45 minutes.

This too. When I am living life at a slower pace I might take all day to clean one room. Now? I can clean the whole house in like 30 minutes. It might not be to the Mr.'s standards, but that's why he does most of the cleaning anyway :D

[crassy]

They read their bibles. That takes up a lot of time, okay!

[luckystone]

The Maidens of Worth (well, the one who wasn't at college) took a lot of long walks and read a lot of long books. They posted their reading list every month and it wasn't exceptional, but it was definitely a decent amount of reading time. Actually, I think even the non-college one taught ballet and possibly played or taught piano, so that's a little more activity there. Then they also sew and cook. Cooking can be fairly time-consuming, if you're doing it for the sake of it and really taking your time. Then I guess there's family dinner and bible time. I think some of them have gardens too, and presuming they do the garden work, not the boys, that could take up time. I find my veggie patch uses up time and I barely do anything, if I wanted it to be decent it would take hours. It is a bit of a stretch, but I can see how you make a whole day out of it.