The Pearls And Children's Privacy

[StarrieEyedKat]

Will do! I wasn't sure how it worked when both parents are blowing it off, but this post was just what I needed to hear.

Any time you feel a child is in a dangerous living situation, whether it's physical, emotional, whatever - call CPS. The worst that will happen is they will go and investigate and find nothing wrong.

[SoybeanQueen]

Is that really a thing for people?

I'll be giving birth in front of my mate in about a month. Rinsing and spitting in front of the man I've been with for eight years seems like no big deal to me!

Yes. I can't stand having anyone else in the room when I'm brushing my teeth. I recognize that it's not common, but I've always felt that way. I also hate it when others wander around outside of the bathroom while brushing their teeth. Yuck.

[FlorenceHamilton]

I feel the need to go back for a minute and address the folks who feel that single digit aged children should not have any knowledge of thier private parts and what they are used for. I beg to differ.

I talked to my children even in the late diaper stage about caring for their own parts. I explained to them that they need to care for these part of their bodies. They all noticed that boys and girls are different. I taught them the names of all the parts. We obsrved the thnings that were the same on boys and girls and the things that are different. I even told them that girls bodies were made to grow a baby. During toilet training, there were more questions and I gave more answers. I told them that their bodies belonged to them and that there was such a thing as a good touch and a bad touch. Grownups may touch them in these parts only if they are trustworthy and them really need the help.

Whenever questions came up, I am swered them. All of my children knew the basic mechamics of human puberty and reproduction. I answered all of their questions as they were asked. At about 10 or 11, I did ask each of them if they needed to talk to me about any questions or concerns that they had about their changing bodies. There were some questions about recreational sexual behavior and some questions about things they worried about. Sometimes silly stuff came up that made them giggle.

We did not dwell on any of this stuff. The point was that this topic was as open and intersting as any other topic my children and I discussed. My children grew up with a healthy attitude about sex. I gave them some space to explore their own bodies and the privacy they needed to feel comfortable. I remember one time teasing my son that he needed to drink extra water to prevent dehydration. He made a funny face and said "Ha-ha, you are funny". That was it.

It is perfectly appropriate to discuss sexuality in small simple doses even from a very young age. There is no need to make it so freaking traumatic.

end rant.

[dawbs]

My kid is not old enough to talk yet (not quite 2) and has taken to wanting to play w/ herself a lot.

So...I've started talking.

I mean, I already talk about everything else "this is your bellybutton *raspberry*" or "this is your foot, see it has toes at the end, we should count them, sholdn't we! 1...2..." or "yes, that is your hair, it is on your head" or "mole, that's a mole on momma's face that you're trying to peel off--nope, it's attached".

So when she grabs herself and giggles, I say something along the lines of "yes, those are your private parts (I'm not introducing 'correct terms' to someone who refers to doggies as 'woof" and kitties as 'meow', sue me). Your diaper was all stinky, so momma is going to make sure they're clean--you don't want to be stinky." and "yes, that is your private part. You can touch it, but you ahve to move your hand for a minute so momma can put your diaper on"

I have no idea if it's right or not, but...it seems to fit where we are, developmentally, right now.

[samithemage]

About calling the authorities. My neighbor screams violently at her small children on a relatively regular basis. Lately she's been better, but everytime I hear her start up screaming at her 3 year old and her 1 year old as though she's possessed by the devil (It usually involves phrases like "Leave me alone!" "AUGHHHHHH!" and "I told you to shut up") I call the non emergency police number and ask for a well child check. If I knew for certain that abuse was going on I'd be calling every day and telling them exactly what I knew. These little ones don't have a voice, they need the adults around them to advocate for them. As far as I know, so far nothing has been done about the crazy mom next door, but I'd rather be over protective and call obsessively than let abuse happen when I could have done something to stop it.