It's not rape! It's just a bad first date!

[longskirtlotsakids]

"It’s clear that Atkins is very grateful that his mother gave him a chance at life. She did something that was difficult for her, but for the best for him. Out of a painful situation, she created beauty.

 

Rodney says his birth mother got pregnant at 19 after what he described as a traumatic first date. She hid the pregnancy from her family and chose to give him up for adoption."

 

I can't even go there. This makes me so upset. he can't say he was a product of rape, he says it was a traumatic first date. Excuse me?

It goes back to the coverup of women's pain and anguish at being raped. There seems to be an uptick in male celebrities pushing for forcing women to keep babies of rapists. First that horrendous quote by Justin Beiber " I know rape is bad but it happens for a reason."

 

How about rape is something men created and perpetuate? Don't g and do something sick and violent, then applaud a woman for carrying your child. It seems to be the ultimate in primal conquering- raping to spread your genetics as far as possible. Having this pro-forced birth attitude encourages rape, in my opinion. One in four women is sexually assaulted, assholes. That's a whole lot of forced baby-having, and the children do not get treated well, no matter how much you idealize an abortion-free world.

[longskirtlotsakids]

oops. Linky http://liveactionnews.org/media/country ... irst-date/

[GeoBQn]

I agree with you on the increase in anti-choice celebrities. I can't stand Nick Cannon as a result of his (hilariously bad) anti-choice song from the fetus's point of view, and how he viciously made fun of women who use emergency contraception on his radio show. We need a new Eddie Vedder.

[Third]

A friend of my husband's was date raped. Her son is now 10 or so. Her Ex served jail time and is a registered sex offender. His new wife[ex-wife wants nothing to do with him and he cannot see his kids from that union] was complaining that my husband's friend needs to understand some men are aggressive. Even during the legal battle some assumed she "changed her mind after" or it wasn't so bad because she decided to not terminate her pregnancy.

I cannot understand how these people live with themselves - rape is not a reason to abort but if you don't abort the child resulting from the rape then it must not have been so bad? Wha?!

[BravaAmica]

A friend of my husband's was date raped. Her son is now 10 or so. Her Ex served jail time and is a registered sex offender. His new wife[ex-wife wants nothing to do with him and he cannot see his kids from that union] was complaining that my husband's friend needs to understand some men are aggressive. Even during the legal battle some assumed she "changed her mind after" or it wasn't so bad because she decided to not terminate her pregnancy.

I cannot understand how these people live with themselves - rape is not a reason to abort but if you don't abort the child resulting from the rape then it must not have been so bad? Wha?!

As someone who was raped, fell pregnant and chose to abort, I do understand why your friend continued with her pregnancy: she CHOSE to.

And the rapist's now-wife justifies and excuses him by saying, "Some men are just aggressive"??? :evil: What the fuck is that about?!??

[Mountain Girl]

I've read that in the Victorian era it was believed that women had to orgasm to become pregnant. So if a rape resulted in pregnancy, it wasn't really rape because the woman obviously enjoyed it. This attitude of rape being somehow excusable and women carrying the burden while a male rapist is "just aggressive" is not a far cry from backwards, medically uninformed Victorian views on rape.

[Third]

As someone who was raped, fell pregnant and chose to abort, I do understand why your friend continued with her pregnancy: she CHOSE to.

And the rapist's now-wife justifies and excuses him by saying, "Some men are just aggressive"??? :evil: What the fuck is that about?!??

Exactly it was her choice.

Probably the new wife doesn't want to believe she married a rapist. Even if he was convicted of and served time for rape.

[debrand]

"It’s clear that Atkins is very grateful that his mother gave him a chance at life. She did something that was difficult for her, but for the best for him. Out of a painful situation, she created beauty.

Rodney says his birth mother got pregnant at 19 after what he described as a traumatic first date. She hid the pregnancy from her family and chose to give him up for adoption."

I can't even go there. This makes me so upset. he can't say he was a product of rape, he says it was a traumatic first date. Excuse me?

It goes back to the coverup of women's pain and anguish at being raped. There seems to be an uptick in male celebrities pushing for forcing women to keep babies of rapists. First that horrendous quote by Justin Beiber " I know rape is bad but it happens for a reason."

How about rape is something men created and perpetuate? Don't g and do something sick and violent, then applaud a woman for carrying your child. It seems to be the ultimate in primal conquering- raping to spread your genetics as far as possible. Having this pro-forced birth attitude encourages rape, in my opinion. One in four women is sexually assaulted, assholes. That's a whole lot of forced baby-having, and the children do not get treated well, no matter how much you idealize an abortion-free world.

I can understand being grateful that your birth mother loved you enough to give you toa good family so that you could have a better life. However, why be grateful for being born? If she had aborted Atkin, he would not have the consciousness to know that he didn't exist. It isn't as if nonexistence caused him pain.

And what happens to children whose mothers are forced to carry through with a pregnancy? Some women would be unwilling to take care of their bodies if they don't want the pregnancy. There is also no guarantee that a woman will give her unwanted child up for adoption. There are lots of stories of children who are abused and killed by unloving parents. The antichoice crowd acts as if every fetus will be into an environment where its parents want the best for it.

[tinuviel]

I don't believe I would choose abortion in most situations, but even I can't imagine carrying a baby conceived through rape. It seems like the growing pregnancy would be a continual reminder of a horrible person who violated me. It seems like it would make bonding with the baby really difficult as well. :-(

Of course there are plenty of ass-hats who can't imagine why a post-rape pregnancy could be really traumatic. "The mother's just being too sensitive!" blah blah bullshit blah. :angry:

[valsa]

I wonder if he describes it as a "traumatic first date" because his birth mother continued the date the guy who raped her? Because, obviously, if it were really rape, she wouldn't have continued dating him. Because things like spousal rape and whatnot don't exist :roll:

[JMarie]

About the author of the article: can someone be a pro-bono attorney, an allied attorney, AND a stay-at-home mom??

[Mountain Girl]

If she had aborted Atkin, he would not have the consciousness to know that he didn't exist.

I know! I hate that argument.

I also hate when people imply that being pro-choice means you don't give a crap when someone suffers a miscarriage, like one of the commenters on the article. Um, no, I'm saddened when someone I know loses a wanted pregnancy and I can't imagine it happening to me. There's a big difference between someone looking forward to being a mother and loving their future child, and someone who is forced to carry a burden.

[Kaylee]

I've read that in the Victorian era it was believed that women had to orgasm to become pregnant. So if a rape resulted in pregnancy, it wasn't really rape because the woman obviously enjoyed it.

There are still people who claim that, usually Republican lawmakers:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/annanorth/the-6 ... bout-pregn

[Austin]

I've read that in the Victorian era it was believed that women had to orgasm to become pregnant. So if a rape resulted in pregnancy, it wasn't really rape because the woman obviously enjoyed it. This attitude of rape being somehow excusable and women carrying the burden while a male rapist is "just aggressive" is not a far cry from backwards, medically uninformed Victorian views on rape.

Many anti-choicers still claim this, using different language sometimes. They believe that the trauma of rape prevents conception. So basically, they're saying that if a woman does become pregnant as the result of a rape, she simply wasn't adequately traumatized. :roll:

[CanadianHippie]

I'm trying find where the traumatic first date is definitively stated as including rape. I've had a few traumatic dates that didn't include sex at all.

[Swamptribe]

I'm trying find where the traumatic first date is definitively stated as including rape. I've had a few traumatic dates that didn't include sex at all.

For it to have resulted in a pregnancy, there would have had to be sex.

[Kaylee]

I'm trying find where the traumatic first date is definitively stated as including rape. I've had a few traumatic dates that didn't include sex at all.

It's not definitively stated but, considering she got pregnant as a result, it must have included sex. I also don't know of many things short of rape, that would cause someone to describe a date as traumatic and still lead to pregnancy.

[luckylibrarian]

I'm trying find where the traumatic first date is definitively stated as including rape. I've had a few traumatic dates that didn't include sex at all.

Is there some other way that conception occurs that I haven't heard about? :roll:

[tabitha2]

Dramatic argument in public place with the cops called for one or running into a bitter ex for a start. Streting here but maybe the date was bad but they had sex later just cause you don't have to love or want to date the person to have sex just horny? happens all the the time.

[StarrieEyedKat]

The man is saying that he was conceived after a traumatic first date and the woman had to hide the pregnancy and chose adoption over abortion. I don't think it was just an argument or running into some ex...

[tabitha2]

I was responding to the person who said they did not know of many things short of rape that could be called traumatic on a first date.

[QueenNocturne]

Many anti-choicers still claim this, using different language sometimes. They believe that the trauma of rape prevents conception. So basically, they're saying that if a woman does become pregnant as the result of a rape, she simply wasn't adequately traumatized. :roll:

I had people trying to teach me that in high school. In a suburb of Columbus. Less than a decade ago. And even at sixteen (because God forbid we teach our children anything about sex until they're nearly adults) I thought it was bullshit.

Sorry, I read Austin's statement and the memories came back. :(

[CanadianHippie]

The man is saying that he was conceived after a traumatic first date and the woman had to hide the pregnancy and chose adoption over abortion. I don't think it was just an argument or running into some ex...

Traumatic first date, including consensual sex in 1968. No my history isn't perfect, but I'm pretty sure being pregnant out of wedlock is enough for a young woman to want to hide her pregnancy. The illegality of abortion at the time could explain why she didn't terminate.

We are talking about the pro-life group here. My experience has been that they are not above using assumptions like traumatic first date = rape to try and make a point.

[kb2]

I can see not being able to refer to yourself as a product of rape, and using poorly-descriptive euphemisms instead, because you haven't quite worked through things yet. Or that may be Atkins's birth mother's way of describing what happened--although she shouldn't feel guilty or responsible, she might, unfortunately, not have had a lot of support. Or she might have wanted to avoid making Atkins feel bad about his origin and downplayed the non-consensual aspect of it when meeting him, even if she feels differently about the situation in her own mind.

When used by the article though, it becomes another argument that tries to win by belittling a situation. Rape is just a traumatic first date, no situation is that bad, etc.

A personal existential crisis is not a good reason to make decisions for everybody.

[ladypuglover]

So when a man gets raped by another man is it just a bad first date?

Rape is a crime and an act of hate no mater who gets rapped or by whom. Male, female, child or animal. Rape is a hate crime.

* yeah, I know my who's, whose and whom's suck. I'm working on that but give me a break, i'm still working on its and it's and a bunch more too. At least I think I have your and you're under control now.