"Purity" After Marriage

[RR88]

Sometimes I think I'm the only one who has thought about this.

Fundies usually encourage their daughters to remain "pure" before marriage. (Their sons, not so much. But that's another story!) Other than the inherent problems with attributing a moral status ("pure") to whether or not a penis has been in someone's vagina, I have always wondered if this means that married women are "impure".

Once a fundie gets married, she's probably having sex. Doesn't that make her "impure"? I don't know; I just always wondered about that. Your thoughts, please.

[TXDuck]

Nonono, you see, she moves from "pure" to "chaste" and thinks no more about remaining pure and how that has to imply she is no longer pure. She's not "impure", she's "chaste".

[sassycupcake]

Oh, but you're forgetting the entire reason that young girls stay pure in the first place: so that they make the best sexual objects for their future headship!

A headship doesn't want an object that's been used by someone else- that's icky! So the girl stays pure for him. Then, once they're married, he defiles the hell out of her. But that's okay, because that's what she was meant for. I mean, you wouldn't wear a dirty pair of shoes that someone else has made impure, but your favorite pair of sneakers that are covered with your own filth and impurities are ok!

[RR88]

Nonono, you see, she moves from "pure" to "chaste" and thinks no more about remaining pure and how that has to imply she is no longer pure. She's not "impure", she's "chaste".

What does "chaste" mean, though? How can you be "chaste" if you're constantly making babies? Unless you're making babies and not having any fun or pleasure when making them...OK, I get it now. ;)

[Mela99]

It's only impure if they are having non-missionary sex for reasons other than creating an Army for Jesus.

[TXDuck]

What does "chaste" mean, though? How can you be "chaste" if you're constantly making babies? Unless you're making babies and not having any fun or pleasure when making them...OK, I get it now. ;)

;) Exactly.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Sometimes I think I'm the only one who has thought about this.

Fundies usually encourage their daughters to remain "pure" before marriage. (Their sons, not so much. But that's another story!) Other than the inherent problems with attributing a moral status ("pure") to whether or not a penis has been in someone's vagina, I have always wondered if this means that married women are "impure".

Once a fundie gets married, she's probably having sex. Doesn't that make her "impure"? I don't know; I just always wondered about that. Your thoughts, please.

100 years ago, female schoolteachers were automatically fired upon marriage.

[RR88]

100 years ago, female schoolteachers were automatically fired upon marriage.

I've read about that before. Ugh!

[freejoytoo]

They think marriage has 'santised' the act so no one has to lose purity (only they just focus on the girls, of course!)

[doggie]

I remember some fundies claiming purity in marriage. supposedly for both but most men break that with their eyes. woman fundies never look at men don't you know.

[Dark Matters]

Oh, but you're forgetting the entire reason that young girls stay pure in the first place: so that they make the best sexual objects for their future headship!

A headship doesn't want an object that's been used by someone else- that's icky! So the girl stays pure for him. Then, once they're married, he defiles the hell out of her. But that's okay, because that's what she was meant for. I mean, you wouldn't wear a dirty pair of shoes that someone else has made impure, but your favorite pair of sneakers that are covered with your own filth and impurities are ok!

This makes me glad I'm asexual. :roll:

[Mountain Girl]

I heard a Baptist military chaplain explain (or pontificate, whatever) that sex within marriage is what "the lord intended." God created Adam and Eve and then ordained sexy-time. I don't know if there's a good biblical explanation for married-only sex, but the belief is that it's holy when you're married.

[Mela99]

I still can't fathom how awkward wedding nights must be. I mean, don't get me wrong -- waiting till marriage, that's your prerogative -- but people who don't even hug each other go from 1 to 100 in the same day. I can't imagine how disconcerting that would be.

And I feel bad for the women, who have husbands who know nothing about women's bodies and their wants/needs/etc.

Off topic, but the book they shilled at Smuggar's wedding, Ed Wheat's "Christian Sex" manual, is hysterical.

[Mountain Girl]

I'll have to break down and read that book one day.

I wonder how much fun they're actually allowed to have in the marriage bed? Does it become sinful at some point? How much can a young couple figure out on their own if nothing has ever been explained to them?

:think:

[RR88]

I still can't fathom how awkward wedding nights must be. I mean, don't get me wrong -- waiting till marriage, that's your prerogative -- but people who don't even hug each other go from 1 to 100 in the same day. I can't imagine how disconcerting that would be.

Jewish fundies have that problem, too. There are "bride classes" that engaged women attend so that they can learn the facts of life, since it's assumed their parents haven't told them.

[Mela99]

Oral and hand action is totally forbidden. And wives are expected to keep giving it up, even while they're preggers.

[Koala]

I still can't fathom how awkward wedding nights must be. I mean, don't get me wrong -- waiting till marriage, that's your prerogative -- but people who don't even hug each other go from 1 to 100 in the same day. I can't imagine how disconcerting that would be.

And I feel bad for the women, who have husbands who know nothing about women's bodies and their wants/needs/etc.

Off topic, but the book they shilled at Smuggar's wedding, Ed Wheat's "Christian Sex" manual, is hysterical.

We were given an Ed Wheat book for our wedding....yes I'm serious.

[Avalondaughter]

I heard a Baptist military chaplain explain (or pontificate, whatever) that sex within marriage is what "the lord intended." God created Adam and Eve and then ordained sexy-time. I don't know if there's a good biblical explanation for married-only sex, but the belief is that it's holy when you're married.

How exactly were Adam and Eve "married"? They were the only people on earth, so there weren't any preachers or churches for them to marry in. :confusion-scratchheadyellow:

[Mountain Girl]

How exactly were Adam and Eve "married"? They were the only people on earth, so there weren't any preachers or churches for them to marry in. :confusion-scratchheadyellow:

God presided over the marriage in an Elvis costume. Geesh, read the Bible.

[CynicMom]

I mean, you wouldn't wear a dirty pair of shoes that someone else has made impure, but your favorite pair of sneakers that are covered with your own filth and impurities are ok!

After a while my shoes are so dirty or threadbare that I throw them away and get new ones. Just sayin'.

And my DH and I each got "Letter to Karen" and "Letters to Philip". They were advice manuals on gender differences and included instructions to the husband like "Remember that it is perfectly normal for your wife not to enjoy sex". DH just about lost it when he read that.

[geniebelle6901]

I just can't comprehend this mindset. I mean I can understand if you make a choice to wait until marriage before having sex (most who "wait" do fool around if not a little more, so there's no shock when it's time for wedding night sex). But I just don't get how you go from being taught sex is dirty and sinful (or even having those thoughts repressed) to something that you have to do now even if for no other reason than procreate in the same day.

[Koala]

God presided over the marriage in an Elvis costume. Geesh, read the Bible.

:lol:

[geniebelle6901]

Wow...I'm reading about books and such I've never heard of before. Heck, sex ed came from Mama, who after explaining the mechanics of sex, said it was a fun and enjoyable part of marriage. I'm so, so glad I wasn't raised in a fundie lifestyle.

[Mela99]

We were given an Ed Wheat book for our wedding....yes I'm serious.

Which one??? Please tell me you read it and laughed.

[FJismyheadship]

Someone on my facebook friends updated his relationship status. Someone commented "Keep it pure!" I laughed thinking that a man who is 55, has been married five times, and two of his kids were born out of wedlock has to "keep pure"