Deanna Duggar Wrote A Song.

[FJismyheadship]

While perusing my facebook the following status from Deanna Duggar (who I rarely pay attention to) caught my eye.

 

I DO BELIEVE JESUS IS COMING BACK SOON! ARE YOU READY TO FACE GOD? VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION? I WROTE A SONG CALLED HE'S COMING BACK 1ST VERSE SIGNS OF THE TIMES ARE EVERYWHERE PEOPLE IN DELUSION OR PEOPLE WHO JUST DONT CARE BUT I'M REMINDED WE ARE IN THE LAST DAYS WE NEED TO SHARE JESUS AND WALK IN HIS WAYS! HE'S COMING BACK IN CLOUDS OF GLORY TO TAKE US HOME TO LIVE HIM IN FOREVER HE'S COMING BACK ITS MORE THAN JUST A STORY JESUS IS COMING BACK SOON!!!!!!!!!

 

I am totally feeling a Family Guy moment right now... where Ringo (I think it was) says to the other Beatles "Hey guysi I wrote a song!" and they tape it to the refrigerator.

 

Anywhosits have at it!

[MrsYoungie]

All modern Christian songs have the same group of lyrics don't they? There is no artistry or subtlety in them. Just a bunch of slogans sung to a bad country (usually) tune.

[CynicMom]

What is it with old people thinking the end times are near? It seems like the older a fundy gets the more they think the rapture is about to happen. Either they can't stand their own mortality or they're conflating the end of the world with their particular end.

[Minerva]

Ouch, why the all caps? I was picturing her shouting it, not singing it.

[luckylibrarian]

Those lyrics suck. Totally unoriginal, cliche idea with trite, meaningless imagery. I'm sure all the Christians on her friends list are kissing her ass about how good it is. Because if it mentions Jesus, then it must be good!

[luckylibrarian]

Here's her status update from Easter:

This is one of my favorite Holiday's coming up! We have so much to celebrate! Our God is alive!!!! How many god's can arise from the dead!!!

Jesus did!!!! Don't forget it!!!!!! Celebrate Easter This Sunday! We have hope in this dark world!!!!!!

Uh...no.

Dionysus, Horus, Osiris, Mithra, and Krishna all managed to rise from the dead.

[HOTW]

Ouch Jesus isn't God....and peopel wonder why I run from organized religions..

[Deleted02]

SO!!!! MANY!!!! EXCLAMATION!!!! POINTS!!!!!

Ugh my eyes are bleeding.

[luckylibrarian]

SO!!!! MANY!!!! EXCLAMATION!!!! POINTS!!!!!

Ugh my eyes are bleeding.

Don't forget the random, incorrectly used apostrophes. (Or should I say "apostrophe's"?)

[xReems]

This dumbass posted an article from a Christian website on how the world is going to end in 2012 due to the Mayan calendar ending and proof from the Bible. That's why she's gone ape shit over "our last days!" lately.

My biggest pet peeve is hearing idiots say the world is going to end by the end of the year. It's not like you're going to wake up and poof the Earth is going to explode in a billion pieces. The world is constantly changing and even if something "drastic" occurs by the end of the year, it's going to thousands, if not millions, of years before the world completely collapse. I don't care how many "evidences" the Bible has, mother nature cannot be predicted. Even then, the Mayans NEVER claimed the world is going to end in 2012; the calendar is ending, just like how our calendar ends on December 31st.

If Deanna is this psychotic, I can't imagine how Boob and Mullet are taking this.

[MrsYoungie]

Here's her status update from Easter:

Uh...no.

Dionysus, Horus, Osiris, Mithra, and Krishna all managed to rise from the dead.

Also: Apollonius of Tyana.

This "Easter Blessing" is my favourite reading:

An Easter Blessing

Originally posted on alt.atheism April 15, 2001

Beloved, let us rejoice, for this is a time of celebration. In the true spirit of this season, let our hearts be gladdened, and let us pray and pay tribute to the deity in whose honor this holiday comes...

...Eastre, the Germanic goddess of spring.

No, no, wait, that's not right. Let's try again.

Please forgive our previous silly mistake. As we all well know, beloved, this holiday comes not because of any primitive druidic goddess, but rather in honor of a heroic figure, a true god among men, who was born of a mortal woman and a divine Father. As should be obvious by now, the name of this very special child was...

...Hercules.

No - hold on. That can't be right either.

Of course, of course. The hero of our story, the one whom we have gathered here to thank, was no figure of pagan Greek polytheism. He was a redeemer, one who came to earth to lift up sinful and ignorant humans, knowing full well he would pay the ultimate price for his actions, but willing to go ahead anyway out of love and compassion. As you all know, this blessed Savior was called...

...Prometheus.

No, no, give us just a minute. We'll get it right.

We all know full well who is being described here, of course. He is the one, the One, who defeated death itself and rose from the grave, in a miracle that no other would-be savior has ever been able to duplicate. By dramatically displaying his power over death, he proved once and for all that he was the single true god. And his name was...

...Osiris.

No, wait. That's not right either. Of course! What a ridiculous error to make. Our apologies.

Beloved, only one god fits this description. You know him well -- millions of you around the world today worship him. He was born of a virgin and visited while still an infant by wise men who were guided to him by a star. He lived in a small province whose evil ruler sought to have him killed before he could rise to power, but his parents were warned by a heavenly messenger who instructed them to take their child to a neighboring district, where he would be safe from the slaughter. This miracle child would come to grow up and perform many great deeds, and the timeless and moving story of his life was recounted throughout history and still rings true today. I refer of course to...

...Krishna.

Is that right? That can't be right, can it?

No! Beloved, the god to whom I refer stands alone, unique, head and shoulders above the myths and fables of the false religions. No other savior ever claimed to duplicate his deeds. No other prophet was anything at all like him. He, and he alone, was crucified. He, and he alone, died on a cross for the sins of mankind. What other so-called savior can make such a claim? Only one person fits that description. You know this person well - his birthday falls near the end of the year, on December 25. As should be more than obvious by now, this person can only be the one who was called...

...Mithras.

That doesn't seem right either...

Of course. That, too, is incorrect. My most sincere apologies. Beloved, do not let these slight slips of the tongue distract you from the power of the message I bring. Our religion is the one true religion. The claims of all others crumble under scrutiny, but ours and ours alone is validated, again and again, by historical fact. It was the first of its kind to make such claims as these; all others are merely impostors which sought to capitalize on its fame. Our savior cannot be mistaken for any other. He performed countless miracles on earth, miracles well attested to by bystanders. He healed the sick and the crippled, restored sight to the blind, cast out demons, yea, even raised the dead! His birth was of a virgin, foretold by an angel. While still a child, he exhibited extraordinary knowledge of religious scripture. He reformed the corrupt and worldly religions of his day. He was crucified, rose from the tomb and appeared to his disciples to prove to them his power over death, after which he ascended to Heaven to sit at the right hand of the Father. He was known as "the Son of God!" No other religion can make such claims! No other savior proved his divinity again and again to so many! No one can doubt his power or the truth of the message he brought. His memory will live forever. How can he be mistaken for anyone else? Of course, by now there is not a shred of doubt in any of your minds. You know as well as I do to whom I am referring. We must worship him, pay tribute to his memory, and focus on spreading his message of love and compassion; that, after everything, is the true meaning of Easter. Come, beloved, let us pray and honor the divine prophet whom I have just described. Let us glory in the everlasting love of...

...Apollonius of Tyana.

Wait - wait - wait - eh, you know what? Screw this.

[JesusPony]

Remind me who Deanna Duggar is again -- Amy's mom?

[FJismyheadship]

Remind me who Deanna Duggar is again -- Amy's mom?

Yup. Hey Mrs. Youngie if I had a copy/paste function on my phone I would TOTALLY post that on her page.

[CanadianHippie]

What is it with old people thinking the end times are near? It seems like the older a fundy gets the more they think the rapture is about to happen. Either they can't stand their own mortality or they're conflating the end of the world with their particular end.

They are so soopur spechul that if they die the world just cannot continue on and dies with them.

[slickcat79]

This dumbass posted an article from a Christian website on how the world is going to end in 2012 due to the Mayan calendar ending and proof from the Bible. That's why she's gone ape shit over "our last days!" lately.

My biggest pet peeve is hearing idiots say the world is going to end by the end of the year. It's not like you're going to wake up and poof the Earth is going to explode in a billion pieces. The world is constantly changing and even if something "drastic" occurs by the end of the year, it's going to thousands, if not millions, of years before the world completely collapse. I don't care how many "evidences" the Bible has, mother nature cannot be predicted. Even then, the Mayans NEVER claimed the world is going to end in 2012; the calendar is ending, just like how our calendar ends on December 31st.

If Deanna is this psychotic, I can't imagine how Boob and Mullet are taking this.

I don't think they actually care about the earth itself. They mock all efforts to be responsible citizens of the planet on a daily basis, so why would they care about the world once they are no longer on it? I'm guessing they imagine some sort of catastrophe that will kill human life, rendering the planet irrelevant.

Or, maybe they do imagine god floating around in a giant Death Star :violence-plasma: Logic is clearly not their strong point, anyway :?

[Guest Anonymous]

I don't think they actually care about the earth itself. They mock all efforts to be responsible citizens of the planet on a daily basis, so why would they care about the world once they are no longer on it? I'm guessing they imagine some sort of catastrophe that will kill human life, rendering the planet irrelevant.

Or, maybe they do imagine god floating around in a giant Death Star :violence-plasma: Logic is clearly not their strong point, anyway :?

Now we know: God is actually Darth Vader (or maybe Grand Moff Tarkin).

[MrsYoungie]

Yup. Hey Mrs. Youngie if I had a copy/paste function on my phone I would TOTALLY post that on her page.

Well you need to find your way to a real puter, cause I'm not friending her. LOL

[muffynbear]

Holy shit. Deanna needs to retire the CAPS LOCK function and her EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[marmalade]

I GUESS WE CAN ASSUME THAT POOR GRAMMAR, OVERUSE OF APOSTROPHE'S [sIC] AND EXCLAMATION POINTS A DUGGAR GENETIC MUTATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111ELEVENTYMILLION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

[mnb357]

Laughing, because this thread broguht back a memory of my AWESOME mother. When I was about. 15, a Jerry Falwellesque classmate's f ather cornered her at a school event. He started talking g about how he thought my siblings and I were "good " people, and how much God loved us, and he was coming soon, and he didn't want us to miss out. My mother said, in her elegant voice, "My dear sir, if he did show up, I 'm quite sure you would only lock him in a closet." Granted, it was a few years before I got the drift, but I bet the ole reverend did.

Edited to try to fix typos, but I am on my Kindle, so I am only making it worse.

[SpeakNow]

Laughing, because this thread broguht back a memory of my AWESOME mother. When I was about. 15, a Jerry Falwellesque classmate's f ather cornered her at a school event. He started talking g about how he thought my siblings and I were "good " people, and how much God loved us, and he was coming soon, and he didn't want us to miss out. My mother said, in her elegant voice, "My dear sir, if he did show up, I 'm quite sure you would only lock him in a closet." Granted, it was a few years before I got the drift, but I bet the ole reverend did.

Edited to try to fix typos, but I am on my Kindle, so I am only making it worse.

:oops: I'm ashamed to admit I don't understand what she means (but it seems very witty, and I want to understand).

[mnb357]

:oops: I'm ashamed to admit I don't understand what she means (but it seems very witty, and I want to understand).

She was giving the self-appointed reverend grief for his rampant homophobia. Being in the "closet" refers to homosexuals who are afraid to reveal themselves for fear of persecution. Her point was that this bloviating fool was such a shallow, judgmental cur, he'd be too busy judging the savior to recognize him if he did come back.