Ain't No Laundry Moutain High Enough

[dairyfreelife]

raisinghomemakers.com/2012/aint-no-laundry-mountain-high-enough/

This guest post on Raising Homemakers actually made me sad. I read some of the other thread about Jacinda's molar pregnancy. The woman had been in the hospital for a week and then was on bed rest and none of the chores got done. It's mostly about relying on the Lord because she didn't do it for dishes and a dirty shower.

So I have to ask this: Where the hell was her husband? He couldn't bother to keep up with the laundry, cook some food and keep up with the dishes while she was trying to recover?

[samurai_sarah]

From the link:

When we’re feeling discouraged about our domestic duties, tempted to trade in our homemaking career for “greener pastures,†or just wishing for an extra hand help get the basics done, could it be that we have not because we ask not? (James 4:2)

Yes, ask your husband to pull his weight!

[dairyfreelife]

I misread the other thread as being about her March 20 post. It discusses what I posted. My bad. Perhaps this thread can be merged with the other.

[feministxtian]

Couldn't resist...comment copied below:

So…your husband or older children couldn’t have done laundry? They left the clothes for 2 WEEKS for you? My husband ran the house for 6 months when I was laid up with an injury. There is no way I would have considered letting him off the hook. It’s HIS house, HIS family and HIS dirty clothes too…good grief!

BLECH!!!

[Coconut Flan]

I came home from the hospital after the birth of our first child to every dish he had used sitting in the sink, his dirty clothes tossed on the floor, and no new groceries having been bought. He got asked exactly what had happened to him while I was delivering his child and recovering. Yes, he got busy pretty quick. Second child, house was spotless when we got home.

[Elle]

Jeez, reading stuff like this makes me even happier for my husband. I started the dished tonight, and he could tell I was tired, so he had me sit down so he could do them. No chance in hell he'd let laundry sit if I couldn't do it for whatever reason. He doesn't always do a perfect job, but he at least makes an effort, and his efforts mean less I need to do.

[RR88]

These "men shouldn't do women's work" attitudes disgust me. Housework needs to be done whether one is male or female. That this woman's husband allowed the work to pile up while she was miscarrying is terrible.

[ladypuglover]

WTH? What would she do if she had pregnancies like I did? Does she have enough clothes for 6-8 months for each member of the family? What would her husband do when he ran out of clean clothes? Would he realise that either he needs to help out and ask someone how to do the laundry, ask someone to do it for him, buy new clothes or risk losing the baby/wife and force her to get up and do the laundry?

I need to thank my extra wonderful husband who not only did all the laundry, cooking, cleaning, child care, house care, dressed myself and any toddlers, pet care, changing my IV's and giving shots, shopping, being a very active parent with all the different kid sports/school/scouts for 3-4 kidlets, making sack lunches, packing an ice chest full of food for me and everything else while working a full time job for many, many months while I was confined to total bedrest or in the hospital every single day. She may thing she is blessed, but I truly am.

[Elle]

WTH? What would she do if she had pregnancies like I did? Does she have enough clothes for 6-8 months for each member of the family? What would her husband do when he ran out of clean clothes? Would he realise that either he needs to help out and ask someone how to do the laundry, ask someone to do it for him, buy new clothes or risk losing the baby/wife and force her to get up and do the laundry?

I need to thank my extra wonderful husband who not only did all the laundry, cooking, cleaning, child care, house care, dressed myself and any toddlers, pet care, changing my IV's and giving shots, shopping, being a very active parent with all the different kid sports/school/scouts for 3-4 kidlets, making sack lunches, packing an ice chest full of food for me and everything else while working a full time job for many, many months while I was confined to total bedrest or in the hospital every single day. She may thing she is blessed, but I truly am.

Hear hear! (Or is it "here here"?)

[margiebargie]

These "men shouldn't do women's work" attitudes disgust me. Housework needs to be done whether one is male or female. That this woman's husband allowed the work to pile up while she was miscarrying is terrible.

I don't know what could have been going through that guy's mind. "I'll just let it pile up. She can take care if it when she gets out of the hospital". WTF? I was in the hospital for a month, then incapacitated for another month when my daughter was born. My husband kept the house under control. He did not let his sick wife come home to towering piles of laundry.

Sounds like poor Jacinda married a lazy dirt bag. Poor woman. That just sucks.

[Third]

That is awful. I cannot imagine recovering from a miscarriage and then having to face all that work because of a lazy husband. Didn't any of her friends or family offer to help either? Is that what they really want their daughters to learn?

[fundiefan]

Real men not only know how to do laundry, they do it. If you marry a child who believes otherwise, I guess you get to live with the consequences.

[currywurst]

What an unloving, uncaring way to treat your spouse. Okay, I have a hypothetical for this woman:

Let's say that your husband runs his own small business (like a moving company or something). He earns all the income and you stay home and take care of the house. That seems like a fair deal. He works outside the home, and you work inside the home. 50/50. Seems reasonable. Now say your husband gets injured and is laid-up in the hospital for 3 weeks. Meanwhile, back at the home business works still needs to be done. Namely, someone has to do the billing or else the business will not get paid. Your husband COULD do it when he is feeling better, but it will be way behind, and a big disorganized mess. Doing the billing is not that hard of a job. You, as wife, learned how to do it before and are competent to do it. It just sucks when it gets behind. Would you really not just go down to the office and do the billing one evening? Would you let it wait for him? After all, that is HIS domain? I mean the business is there for the benefit of the entire family, right?

Only a very immature, petty, bratty wife would not just go down there and the work done that needs to be done when the family is having a hard time. Now reverse this story and you will come up with what just happened to you at your house.

[margiebargie]

Only a very immature, petty, bratty wife would not just go down there and the work done that needs to be done when the family is having a hard time. Now reverse this story and you will come up with what just happened to you at your house.

Exactly right. Like I said my dh pretty much took over the house for two months. That's not to say things were perfect. We were a 'man' down. He had to manage the medical issues for two people. Plus he still had to work. The point is he did his best. He didn't just leave it all for me to do.

But you bring up another great point with your hypothetical scenario. If he were in the hospital would she be able to just let the family business sit idle? Is that even an option? She'd have to do her best to keep all the balls in the air or not eat.

[Koala]

Want to know the truth? I think Jacinda threw in with someone just like her. I remember her (now deleted) post about bring her 1 or 2 year old home from a night in the hospital. The child was sick as a dog and had ended up spending the night in the ER. Jacinda spent the next day trying to decide if the child needed discipline for being so "clingy" and "manipulating" her.

I find it funny that she (a grown woman) wants a bunch of sympathy, when she had NONE for her own baby.

Nope. No sympathy at all. Do the laundry Jacinda, and quit whining while you're at it. You're a cruel woman and you married a cruel man.

[currywurst]

Exactly. A marriage is a partnership. In a partnership, you do everything and anything you must in order to keep that partnership going. In a marriage, there is no such thing as a strict division of labor. By definition, that goes in complete opposition to the term "marriage." Look, I have absolutely nothing against one person staying home and taking care of the house and children while the other one works. If the man goes to work 10 hours a day, and the wife stays home, then I do not think he should be expected to do very much of the housework. That just seems fair. Each person is contributing. (and I would say the reverse could also be true). But SHIT HAPPENS. Only someone with a very childlike mentality would not be able to handle a situation like this with maturity. If one spouse is in the hospital, then the other needs to step it up and keep the partnership going. There is no such thing as the "wife's job" or the "husband's job." Everything is jointly and severally the responsibility of each spouse. That is the whole point of a marriage.

This lady needs to go back to Bible 101.

[slickcat79]

What an unloving, uncaring way to treat your spouse. Okay, I have a hypothetical for this woman:

Let's say that your husband runs his own small business (like a moving company or something). He earns all the income and you stay home and take care of the house. That seems like a fair deal. He works outside the home, and you work inside the home. 50/50. Seems reasonable. Now say your husband gets injured and is laid-up in the hospital for 3 weeks. Meanwhile, back at the home business works still needs to be done. Namely, someone has to do the billing or else the business will not get paid. Your husband COULD do it when he is feeling better, but it will be way behind, and a big disorganized mess. Doing the billing is not that hard of a job. You, as wife, learned how to do it before and are competent to do it. It just sucks when it gets behind. Would you really not just go down to the office and do the billing one evening? Would you let it wait for him? After all, that is HIS domain? I mean the business is there for the benefit of the entire family, right?

Only a very immature, petty, bratty wife would not just go down there and the work done that needs to be done when the family is having a hard time. Now reverse this story and you will come up with what just happened to you at your house.

I bet she wouldn't do it. She'd probably put up a collection on her blog, or try to figure out a way to amp up production from a home-based business, maybe guilt her readers into buying more of her stuff until they get back on their feet. She'd write posts about "doing without" and "trusting god" because she enjoys feeling like a martyr.

I know we discussed a few posts on here about a woman who needed her husband to take a mattress or some furniture out to the road for collection, because she knew they would only pick up large items one day per week. Her husband didn't do it on time because he thought the collection was on a different day. She KNEW that he was wrong about the day, and she wouldn't even tell him because she might be insulting his manliness or something. If they won't even do something as mundane as reminding/correcting their husbands in a simple chore, why would they go so far as to try an usurp his work from him? The mind, it boggles :?

[currywurst]

Why do these women marry such big babies to begin with? I would never, ever marry a man unless I thought him to be a fully-grown, competent adult.

[1004srs]

My now ex, told me the day I got from the hospital with Baby1 that he expected me to take care of the house, laundry, and food when I was recuperating. Uhh, yeah. I wasn't able to walk down stairs because of the stitches and I wasn't supposed to carry anything heavier than our 8 lb baby. Not to mention attempting breastfeeding.

He went to work the next day and started bragging.

He came home that night and apologized. SOme of the guys at work told him that I needed time to recuperate after pushing a 8lb baby out. Apparently, they really read him the riot act over it.

[currywurst]

My now ex, told me the day I got from the hospital with Baby1 that he expected me to take care of the house, laundry, and food when I was recuperating. Uhh, yeah. I wasn't able to walk down stairs because of the stitches and I wasn't supposed to carry anything heavier than our 8 lb baby. Not to mention attempting breastfeeding.

He went to work the next day and started bragging.

He came home that night and apologized. SOme of the guys at work told him that I needed time to recuperate after pushing a 8lb baby out. Apparently, they really read him the riot act over it.

I have a question about guys like this. Were they mature, decent, loving men before the baby came, and just suddenly changed right after you gave birth?

[Third]

I have a question about guys like this. Were they mature, decent, loving men before the baby came, and just suddenly changed right after you gave birth?

According to the posters from DOVE in the bathrooms at the doctor's office many man don't become abusive until after the marriage or once the woman gets pregnant. Must be common enough if they make posters about it.

[RR88]

I had to chime in before I began studying for the day...

I almost married a man like this. He wanted us to have children together someday, and yet every baby or small child we came into contact with (a friend's or relative's) he refused to talk to, touch, or interact with at all. He promised he'd be an involved father, but I wasn't going to carry any kid for nine months, push it out of me, and then raise it for the next two decades in the HOPES that my husband wouldn't treat our child the same way he treated every child we'd encountered thus far.

He also told me that all the red flags I'd been noticing about our relationship would disappear after our wedding...and after I moved to another state to be with him. Yikes!

[1004srs]

In my case, he changed A LOT after we got married. It was like a switch had gone off. It is more common that you'd think.

[margiebargie]

I have a question about guys like this. Were they mature, decent, loving men before the baby came, and just suddenly changed right after you gave birth?

Really hard to say. My own husband did his own cooking, cleaning and laundry before we got married. As soon as we got married he just expected me to do everything. It was quite a bummer. It took some effort to get him on the right track again. If a wedding can do that to a guy's brain, I'm sure a baby could, too.

[desertvixen]

Exactly right. Like I said my dh pretty much took over the house for two months. That's not to say things were perfect. We were a 'man' down. He had to manage the medical issues for two people. Plus he still had to work. The point is he did his best. He didn't just leave it all for me to do.

In general, another person is not going to as a good a job as you do with your house, just because we all have our own ways that we want things done, and our own little quirks.

But having a partner who at least makes the effort is pretty much a necessity.