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How many fundie guys (or gals) do have affairs?


Deleted08

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They seem to talk about sex so much, I really do wonder how many of them have gone off astray? Probably just

like with non-fundies?

I don't put it past many of the fundie men to Chat Roulette or something like that...because it's not cheating if you're not sticking your Johnson inside someone ;).

My old group had lots of "affair" stories and that's how they turned fundie in the first place, to save their marriage.

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I have known of a few affairs in Christian marriages around me. It has always been the man. Some of them were real con artists (a la JFerence) which have ended in divorce, and the others were mistakes that the couple worked through.

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I'm no expert, but I would guess that fundies commit adultery at nearly the same rate as the "average" non-fundie married people do.

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When my father was fundie (and even after) he had casual sex with women and picked up prostitutes. I busted him with a strange woman on the back of his bike in another town once when I was younger. My car was very distinctive and he saw me...oh the story he told when he got home was hilarious, but my mom believed his stupid ass.

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I think a lot of them keep stuff like that very secret. I know one guy personally who was very, very into gender roles and said he should never have to take care of the kids or check with his wife before doing anything. They've been married for a decade and she just found out he's had affair after affair the entire time, and that when he disappeared and didn't bother telling her where he was going, that's what he was doing. They are now separated but can't get divorced because it's unbiblical or something because he's "repented." Puke.

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I think it's on par with other people, especially for the men. The college I went to for a while was very fundie and there are a lot of former grads, most of them pastors, who have been caught cheating on their spouses and worse. My dorm supervisor was divorced because her husband, who was sort of a hot-shot in the bus ministry and church for years, ran off with a younger college student and left her. It's usually the men you hear about, maybe because it's harder to run around when you're a stay at home mom with kids in the house, but I do know of a few situations where the wife was cheating as well. One was really sad to me because it was repeated several times and her husband, a pastor, ended up losing his job when they did divorce and having to change careers at around 40 years old because that particular faith group does not allow divorced preachers (but many of the serial adulterers have found new churches to preach in).

I would really like to say that it did happen less, but it seems like it may be more prevalent, or at least more talked about, in certain circles.

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It's probably, percentage wise, the same as non-fundies. Men & women who will 'stray' can't really be put into a category.

I do find it interesting though that since I went through my divorce, I kind of became the trustworthy person for everyone I know to talk to about what they're doing in their lives. I became a trusted person, I guess because I could understand. Never mind that divorce doesn't mean affair; it seems to mean that to far to many people I know.

One fundie friend had an affair, left her husband and kids, and married her lover. One good Catholic is in year three of an affair. They were both married when they started, she is divorced now (because her husband found out), he is still married and just had a kid with his wife. A friend whose religion I don't really know is in year four of an affair because it's real and right - yet neither has left their spouse. My sister cheated on her husband of one year when she was 21. Her second husband cheated on her and she excused it away as her 'payback'. I am the product of an affair - my married father hooked up with my teenage mother.

All that to say - if someone is gonna' cheat, they're gonna' do it and everyone else in the picture will find an excuse, ignore it or accept it.

I don't know. Given how common it really is, among all people, I have to wonder if it is realistic to expect 'one partner for life'. But, that's a whole different topic.

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In fundie land, men definitely have more opportunity. They're out and about. The women are at home with a team of kids. Opportunity is a huge - probably the main - factor in affairs. Even those not looking can and do easily 'fall into it' because the opportunity is there. No one has to take advantage of the opportunity, but it is definitely there for the fundie men while not for the women.

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I can see how men who like to cheat would be drawn to the fundie lifestyle though. I'm sure plenty of the men cheat and they blame it on their wives for not satisfying them enough. And the wife is absolutely powerless to do anything about it. I would suspect that some fundie wives also cheat, but it would be so much harder for them to get away with it. It would be really hard to do with lots of little kids, but early in the marriage or later when the older daughters have taken over the parenting, I could see the wife stepping out for "Bible time" during the day while the husband is at work anyway.

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Sexual indiscretion is a very common "problem," IME. In the 20+ years I was in the fundie church, three different pastors stepped down from their positions due to a problem with pornography. One of our music pastors had an affair with one of the choir members, and a youth pastor also had an affair with another church member. As much as they won't admit it, they're human and have the same human failings as the heathen population.

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I doubt fundie woman have many affairs as I doubt they really enjoy sex so would not expect it to be good with someone else. Just a theory.

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I doubt fundie woman have many affairs as I doubt they really enjoy sex so would not expect it to be good with someone else. Just a theory.

Actually, that made me want to cheat! I wasn't fundie by the time I got married the first time, but he was my first....and sex was sooooo boring (I didn't, um, "O" for the first 3 YEARS we were together) that I wanted to try it with anyone else! I figured that other women seemed to enjoy it, so there had to be more "talented" guys out there. I didn't cheat on him (had chances), but 3 days after I left him I did sleep with someone else.

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We used to live in Orange County NY near a very large Hasidic community and th ebiggest city was Newburgh. Many tiems the cops did John busts and they said that the ones they usally saw and hated to bust were the Hasidic Jews who would fight like mad becuase they didnt want to get arrested! They were also the biggest customers of black prostitutes. Also a lot of them would hire black maids and the husband would try to force them to have sex wth them. Oh yeah it was great knowing th ecops! The funniest thing I saw living there was one night a film crew was on the streets doing a documentary on the sex culture and got footage of a Haside and he went ballistic on them trying to break the camera!! Of course it got ont he news!!

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