Fundie Fashion Test

[mystweaver]

Question 5 is golden.

"Before I tell you how to take this test, I should tell you that you might not need it just yet. It all depends on whether God has chosen for you to begin to grow breasts or not. (And his timing is different for all of us, so be patient."

My 28-AA cups are still waiting for this divine sign of favor. Maybe they weren't predestined for greatness, or even averageness. ;)

[TXDuck]

You don't want your underwear sticking out of the top of your pants. That's just good fashion sense. (And no one wants to see anyone else's underwear.) But what is the obsession with panty lines? Seriously, they aren't a modesty issue at all. Why make it into one? (And I'm guessing the average fundie would not like my solution to the panty line problem.)

We have appropriate/inappropriate guidelines in our house. And we somehow managed to do it all without ever mentioning a future spouse, their grandparents, or the word "intoxicating". Fundies, please stop being so gross.

[AnnieC 305]

I suspect that too. I am always disturbed by how obsessed these fundies are with the bodies and "sexuality" of little girls. You do not need to go into all the sex stuff with them - just buy them clothes that keep them covered. I rarely see little girls who are not dressed modestly anyway. In fact, I rarely see adult women who are not dressed modestly. I rarely see a woman in a belly shirt, mini skirt, or hot pants. No really. Most women are perfectly well covered and decently dressed. Even all those sinners who have not given their lives over to Jesus somehow manage to control their urge to sexual tempt poor men and cover themselves. It's amazing.

Titus 1:15

You know I was introduced to a number of the same tests/criteria growing up, but there was never any word said about modesty or sexuality. It was simply that the clothes didn't fit and you needed a different size or style. Really, how difficult is that?

Also, the girls on that site are so young!

[Sprocket]

This is their suggestion about swimsuits: encourage girls and women to consider that the Truth or Bare Fashion tests apply whether you are swimming or going to a formal event. (That’s another place where modesty sometimes gets forgotten.) You should still be able to pass “The Palm Pilot†because the neckline isn’t too low. You should be able to raise your hands without showing too much belly. (I’m not a hard and fast one-piece girl, because I find sometimes tankinis are far less revealing.) The key is being able to move around without any …ah…er…â€strategic parts†falling out. Best of all, I encourage you to treat yourselves to a really cool beach cover up. When you’re sunning or snacking poolside, throw this on for a modest approach to swimsuits! And remember to wear your swimsuit when you’re swimming but not to Uncle Fred’s backyard bar-b-que. There’s nothing modest about that!

So a young girl must assume that all men are perverts? What if there will be sprinklers at the BBQ for the kids to fun through? People should use common sense, but Uncle Fred and Grandpa sounds like they're candidates for To Catch a Predator.

[SealFan1963]

First of all you wear flesh color undies under white pants, not white undies, second of all, who puts a little girl in white pants, and third of all, what kind of freak thinks about showing her underwear to her grandpa. This website is just creepy.

[lexiloumarie]

This. It also implies that if a girl is molested, it's somehow her fault because of the way she dressed.

All of the above. The wording... :shock: :hand:

[Whydoyouask]

The website should be titled "how to be an asshat when raising children".

I'm 38 yrs old, all my shirts go 'boing-boing' thanks to my massive hooters - what should I do?? NOT WEAR A SHIRT?? Because of my hooters anything that is high cut in the neck tends to strangle me. Way to make a grown woman super self conscious.

I want to see equality for all, where is the male fashion?

1. PULL YOUR PANTS UP

2. Speak clearly and use proper grammar (this is just a general pet peeve of mine)

3. TAKE YOUR HAT OFF INSIDE

Deoderant for all !!

[snarkbillie]

Ugggh.

The sad thing is that I would use similar tests and standards with my kids, but wouldn't ever refer to that website because the wording is so gross.

Really, the "does your belly show when you raise your hands" test IS one that I use, but I'd never in a million years talk about bellies being intoxicating or something that they need to "save" for one man. I just say that some areas are designed to be private, and it's inappropriate to expose their bellies in public. Period. It has nothing to do with how attractive a body part is - my son isn't going shirtless either unless he's at a pool, and I don't think that men with hairy potbellies are particularly "intoxicating" (although some may be intoxicated). I also teach that their bodies are for THEM - not for a future man.

No, I don't need them to visualize their grandfathers - who are decent men - as pervs looking up their skirts.

I just failed the tight shirt test - although to be fair, I wear tight shells underneath jackets for court. The "girls" are not small and a loose top would look like a tent.

I don't particularly see bellies as inappropriate for public but maybe inappropriate for some situations. Just like I would tell my girls not to wear open toe shoes to a job interview. There's nothing wrong with showing your toes, but there's a time and a place. It's not even about modesty, it's just standard accepted fashion for some things. My husband would never wear a suit coat that had too short of sleeves. It's not that his wrists are defrauding or anything, just that's not the way it's supposed to fit. Wearing a bikini top? Okay. Wearing a bikini top to school? Not okay.

[marmalade]

They spelled clavicle wrong. Am I being nitpicky? Yes, but so are they.

Thank you! That really bugged. But we're dealing with kids taught at the DRT, so who would notice?

Also, "criss-cross applesauce is okay for storytime at school, but as Jackie O and Princess Di know, a real lady sits either at a slight angle on the chair with her legs glued together all the way down to the ankles when wearing dresses/skirts. In pants, it's permissible to cross your legs...at the ankles.

Ironic that this atheist knows more about modesty than the ones who preach it. And if I was hanging out with the S'Mortons, I'd be dressed just fine with what I'm wearing; plenty of jeans to be seen on their sites and my tee is high-necked and baggy.

[Blonde not dumb]

It's a little odd to me that the overall principle seems to be that little girls should look and dress their age but they justify that idea with sexuality.

Yes, a 10-year-old should look like a 10-year-old, but that's because she's freaking 10, not because the sight of some belly skin will send the menfolk in to a sexual frenzy. :doh:

[Elle]

My toddler's belly is just plain adorable and I love blowing on it to make her giggle. I've got no problem with her running around naked. Makes getting her to the potty easier.

That site is gross. It's pre-victim blaming.

[CanadianHippie]

Question 5 is golden.

"Before I tell you how to take this test, I should tell you that you might not need it just yet. It all depends on whether God has chosen for you to begin to grow breasts or not. (And his timing is different for all of us, so be patient."

My 28-AA cups are still waiting for this divine sign of favor. Maybe they weren't predestined for greatness, or even averageness. ;)

Then God must be planning awesome things for me, like creating world peace or curing some horrible disease. He knows I didn't ask for G cups, which ironically don't fit according to their standards in any shirt I've found so far...

[Whydoyouask]

We must be going to hell together!

[snarkbillie]

I know people have probably already said so but the whole "white panties with white pants" thing is just ASKING for your underwear to show. Why give bad advice like that? Is something terrible about brown/flesh colored undies?!

[freejoytoo]

I don't really like the idea of telling young girls to dress 'like ladies' because they're not ladies, they're little girls! If you're telling them they should be modest then you're saying their bodies are sexual. I'm not saying that they should go around in mini skirts and boob tubes but it shouldn't matter if they show their belly or underwear - they're children! If I wore a skirt to the playground when I was younger I didn't even think twice about going on the swings. I didn't feel embarrassed about my underwear showing because I was a child and none of the other children cared because they were children too. At primary school we did PE in our underwear until we were seven. But maybe I was just born to be immodest. I'll wear a black bra under a white top anyday!