Married at 12

[RR88]

Can the two threads be merged?

[RR88]

Her husband rapes her AND she has vulvodynia! The plot thickens...this whole situation infuriates me. :x

sworddancewarrior.wordpress.com/2011/03/20/do-i-report-my-sociopath-father-to-the-police-again/#comment-785

[samurai_sarah]

Her husband rapes her AND she has vulvodynia! The plot thickens...this whole situation infuriates me. :x

sworddancewarrior.wordpress.com/2011/03/20/do-i-report-my-sociopath-father-to-the-police-again/#comment-785

Oh my goodness, that just made me feel physically sick. Her husband is raping her, she blogs about how she is starting to be able to go to bed with him, without having a break-down every time, and she still thinks that she has to submit, as she says in that one comment? And then she pretty much grooms her daughters. She just makes me want to cry, or alternatively shake her until she gets that she doesn't have to live this way.

[RR88]

Oh my goodness, that just made me feel physically sick. Her husband is raping her, she blogs about how she is starting to be able to go to bed with him, without having a break-down every time, and she still thinks that she has to submit, as she says in that one comment? And then she pretty much grooms her daughters. She just makes me want to cry, or alternatively shake her until she gets that she doesn't have to live this way.

I'm pretty much at the "shake her" stage right now. I have lost most of my sympathy for the way she treats her children. Her husband rapes her and each rape must be quite painful due to her vulvodynia, and she is teaching her daughters that they are worth less than her sons are. *Insert vomiting emoticon here*

[RR88]

OnionSoupMix, one of my favorite Jewish blogs, wrote about this: onionsoupmix.livejournal.com/158890.html

[samurai_sarah]

(snip)

I'm pretty much at the "shake her" stage right now. I have lost most of my sympathy for the way she treats her children. Her husband rapes her and each rape must be quite painful due to her vulvodynia, and she is teaching her daughters that they are worth less than her sons are. *Insert vomiting emoticon here*

I read the whole blog, and the whole thing about getting her daughters to submit to her sons, was just...I have no words for someone who says she's been so hurt by patriarchy, yet continues down the same road. And the whole thing about waving her daughter's hair good-bye was just sickening and heartbreaking to me. It's no excuse, by any stretch, for what she's doing to her own kids- I just keep thinking that she was a child too, when she first got abused, and probably lacks the critical thinking skills as a result of her upbringing to connect the dots between what she's been through, and what she's doing. Hence, wanting to cry for her. And "shaking her".

Actually, who I want to "shake" more than her, is her husband. Being a "nice" rapist, still makes you a rapist, ya know? Forcing someone you profess to love to go through such pain, just makes you an arsehole. Your wife having a 'break-down' every time you have sex...yeah, guess what: you're a criminal!

[RR88]

Yeah, but as her headship he is allowed to rape her and she must lovingly submit her body to him whenever he demands it. :roll:

[samurai_sarah]

Yeah, but as her headship he is allowed to rape her and she must lovingly submit her body to him whenever he demands it. :roll:

Right, I'll cry, while you "shake" her. And then maybe we can swap (no crying required from you).

In sex ed, one of the big things we learned was that "if it hurts, something isn't right". It just amazes me that she'll ignore the pain she's in, but then, I suppose she probably considers her suffering as something to offer up to her deity. And oh, she's grooming her daughters for the same. Please, excuse me while I return to banging my head.

[emmiedahl]

It says a lot about her husband that he continues to have sex with her while she is crying and shaking and visibly upset. I think most men consider that a turn off.

[RR88]

It's just as some comment-writers on her blog have said: She left one cult and entered another.

[valsa]

It says a lot about her husband that he continues to have sex with her while she is crying and shaking and visibly upset. I think most men consider that a turn off.

Exactly. This is probably way, waaaay TMI but penetrative sex is usually pretty uncomfortable to me (always has been, even with different partners) When I was younger, I didn't realize that right before my period, it would go from "uncomfortable" to "fucking painful". Being young and stupid at the time, I didn't want to tell my partner to stop (I was honestly embarrassed) but even with me just tensing up and wincing, he realized something was wrong and stopped (and this was a teenage boy) I can't imagine what the fuck is wrong with a grown man who can force a crying woman who is in pain to have sex with him.

[RR88]

Exactly. This is probably way, waaaay TMI but penetrative sex is usually pretty uncomfortable to me (always has been, even with different partners) When I was younger, I didn't realize that right before my period, it would go from "uncomfortable" to "fucking painful". Being young and stupid at the time, I didn't want to tell my partner to stop (I was honestly embarrassed) but even with me just tensing up and wincing, he realized something was wrong and stopped (and this was a teenage boy) I can't imagine what the fuck is wrong with a grown man who can force a crying woman who is in pain to have sex with him.

I'll assume he agrees with his wife that women's bodies are for their husbands.

[uber frau]

Because sex isn't about mutual enjoyment for him. It's about power. He's an abusive ____ (fill in the blank. I can't think of any word strong enough) who believes relationships aren't mutual, but about who's in charge.

[RR88]

Because sex isn't about mutual enjoyment for him. It's about power. He's an abusive ____ (fill in the blank. I can't think of any word strong enough) who believes relationships aren't mutual, but about who's in charge.

The strange thing is that she's always talking about how kind and good he is to her.

[StarrieEyedKat]

I'm also getting the malware warning when I try to visit the blog...

[lexiloumarie]

The strange thing is that she's always talking about how kind and good he is to her.

He's not molesting the children or humiliating her by forcing her to veil/kneel. That's genuine goodness to her. It's horrifying.

[emmiedahl]

He's not molesting the children or humiliating her by forcing her to veil/kneel. That's genuine goodness to her. It's horrifying.

I would not be shocked if something horrible was going on in that home.

You have a husband who is fine with the idea of women being unwilling and in pain during sex. He has an abnormal interest in his daughter's menstrual cycle and wants her to cover up more because he notices she is developing. Has he abused? I don't know, but he was raised in a community where sexual abuse is rampant and he may not have the same boundaries as mainstream society.

You have a child who has been trained to never question her father and to serve the men in her life without question. A mother who thinks her husband is the nicest guy evah because he is no longer as violent about raping her.

The situation seems ripe for some sort of horrible abuse.

[ADoyle90815]

I would not be shocked if something horrible was going on in that home.

You have a husband who is fine with the idea of women being unwilling and in pain during sex. He has an abnormal interest in his daughter's menstrual cycle and wants her to cover up more because he notices she is developing. Has he abused? I don't know, but he was raised in a community where sexual abuse is rampant and he may not have the same boundaries as mainstream society.

You have a child who has been trained to never question her father and to serve the men in her life without question. A mother who thinks her husband is the nicest guy evah because he is no longer as violent about raping her.

The situation seems ripe for some sort of horrible abuse.

I agree, which is what's especially sickening about this situation.

[RR88]

Is it over the line for me to wonder if her husband has punished her for blogging?

[RR88]

DC writes a good analysis of Dina here: amotherinisrael.com/submission-judaism-marriage-women/

[GenerationCedarchip]

I would not be shocked if something horrible was going on in that home.

You have a husband who is fine with the idea of women being unwilling and in pain during sex. He has an abnormal interest in his daughter's menstrual cycle and wants her to cover up more because he notices she is developing. Has he abused? I don't know, but he was raised in a community where sexual abuse is rampant and he may not have the same boundaries as mainstream society.

You have a child who has been trained to never question her father and to serve the men in her life without question. A mother who thinks her husband is the nicest guy evah because he is no longer as violent about raping her.

The situation seems ripe for some sort of horrible abuse.

Yes. Sometimes I read a blog and just want to snark on it. This one falls into the category of blogs that I wish I could figure out a location for, so I could send the link to CPS.