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'Always Learning' asks, “Why buy the cow...?�


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Yes, you've all heard it before – that bromide comparing women to milk cows, some of whom are simply too dumb to contract beforehand with their potential owners that grain and housing be provided in exchange for all that teat-sucking.

Lori writes...

Sleeping together before marriage is extremely prevalent even among Christians. It is sin and you will suffer the consequences.

For many people, the 'consequence' is eventual marriage – either to the only person they ever slept with, or to someone else later on.

But I don't think “eventual marriage†is the sort of consequence Lori has in mind, or wishes to see, in this context: I expect she's talking about unwanted pregnancy – for as we all know, while children are always gifts from God, blessings whenever they occur, they're also sent to punish women who conceive out of wedloack.

Lori continues...

There are probably so many men out there that don't want to get married because they don't need to...They get sex for free. No responsibility. No commitment.

What a coincidence: The sorts of guys who don't marry since they “don't need to,†because they can get sex without committing to marriage, are also the last men on earth women should be looking for as life-long partners.

The underlying message here is that women are worse than mere dead weight: Their only value, much like that of livestock, is in what they might produce -- because God knows men don't marry women for love or for their personalities or because they enjoy the conversation. (That's just a feminist myth borne of the mistaken notion that women are actually people rather than just burdensome necessities for men who want posterity.)

She continues...

Maybe God gave men such powerful sex drives so they would get married. Marriage is a very good thing ordained by God. Societies are healthy when there are a lot of married couples with children.

Rather than leading with strength, here, and offering a list of reasons for why marriage is preferable to other living arrangements, Lori instead offers that marriage, like some foul-tasting medicine, is good for us – and particularly for men – whether we like it or not, even despite its meaning that the poor menz are saddled with emotional children whose only value is in making babies.

Women, being too dumb to recognize that men are interested in precisely one thing and one thing only, are just deluding themselves: Instead of using their ladybits for fun, they should be using them as bait for a marital trap.

Lest anyone should be confused by what Lori means, she then spells it out in full:

Women, don't sell your virginity for free. Wait for a godly man that will put a ring on your finger first and say, "I do" to a lifetime of commitment and responsibility.

Start your marriage off on the right foot: Treat the marriage certificate as barter in exchange for virginity.

lorialexander.blogspot.ca

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Because not all guys are in the relationship for sex? Sex is merely a rockin' side benefit?

These people need to stop focusing so much on sex if its SUCH a sinful act

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What a degrading view of human sexuality, love and marriage.

Does the writer not realize that there is more to women then a hymen?

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Hmm, why buy the pig if all you want is a little sausage.

^This!

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The first thing i thought of was "when you can get the milk for free? Sex outside of marriage isn't cheap, it is usually quite expensive if you factor in all the hookers, pimps, motel rooms and bribes."

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"sell your virginity for free"? So, they do consider all women whores. Nice, very nice.

When I was living with my now husband (we've been married like 27 years now) my mother actually gave me the 'he won't buy the cow' line. My response "I'm gettin' it for free too". Frankly, I would not want to be married to someone who only married me for the sex. What a horrific shallow relationship to be stuck in.

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Guest Anonymous
Women, don't sell your virginity for free. Wait for a godly man that will put a ring on your finger first and say, "I do" to a lifetime of commitment and responsibility.

I'm not at all suprised she believes that a woman should sell her virginity and her body to a man in return for a house to live in and the privilege of washing his dirty underthings, but I'm a little surprised that she came right out and said it. Fundies usually try to sugarcoat the fact that they see women as purchasable commodities - livestock, in this case.

(And let me go on record here as saying fuck that noise. I'm a person, not a product.)

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Although my mother wasn't really religious and certainly not pure herself, she often told me the cow remark. It angered me because it made my sexuality the only thing that was of worth about me. Men, I was assured, only wanted one thing. It gave me a very negative view of men. I couldn't understand why all the responsibility for controling my desire was on me but there was none on the guys.

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Hmm, why buy the pig if all you want is a little sausage.

For the win! :dance: I always find it amusing that the idea that a woman has sex because she wants to have sex because it's fun never crosses the mind of people who use this saying.

Wait we 'sell' our virginity - isn't selling or trading of sex prostitution? Is she saying women should 'wait for the right price' and that's a ring and an I do.

As for rings - As far as I know they aren't Biblical. It's a tradition and it's nice but the whole engagement ring being worth so many months of his salary, wedding rings etc isn't commanded by God or anything. I find it funny those who shun certain things from typical culture hang on to white dresses and wedding rings...wasn't the white dress thing started by Queen Victoria?

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Ok, this is going to be gross. Just hear me out.

In this scenario, woman=cow, we got that. However, if you aren't married to whoever is milking you, you're free to walk away, thus cutting off the guy's milk supply. It's a facet of these relationships fundies seem to miss. The cow can use her milk supply as a bargaining chip. It's hers to give freely and withhold as she deems fit.

Look, I told y'all up front it was going to be gross. At least I'm not telling girls to sell their virginity in exchange for shelter.

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All I could think of when I saw "Why buy the cow...?" was "When you can get the sex for free?" I don't even remember what movie made that joke, and it's completely replaced the original saying.

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Perhaps some women don't want to be "bought"? Personally I like the fact that my husband didn't just marry me for sex. Marrying just so you can have sex with a person seems like a recipe for a very unhappy marriage.

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For many people, the 'consequence' is eventual marriage – either to the only person they ever slept with, or to someone else later on.

But I don't think “eventual marriage†is the sort of consequence Lori has in mind, or wishes to see, in this context: I expect she's talking about unwanted pregnancy – for as we all know, while children are always gifts from God, blessings whenever they occur, they're also sent to punish women who conceive out of wedloack.

If children out of wedlock is a punishment, that makes my nephew the most awesome, most loved punishment ever.

There are also many men who were getting sex for free, but still want to marry their partners. There are also men who do feel responsible for women they aren't married to. Or are in a committed relationship without being married. *shrug*

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I have friends who waited until their wedding night. One of them told me later that no one told her she might bleed. Both flipped the eff out when it happened, and then she ended up with a UTI for the rest of the honeymoon.

I was a heathen and had sex before marriage and what do you know, my wedding night was pretty damn good.

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Here's another blog post about marriage from the nutcase blogger of "Biblical Womanhood":

The Purpose of Marriage

from my book "The Famiy Unit."

2. The Purpose of Marriage

Marriage has two purposes. The first is to demonstrate God’s relationship with the church. It is a living object lesson for us to see.

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it;†Ephesians 5:25

Polygamy would demonstrate God having two or more brides, which He doesn’t. There is only one Church.

“So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.†Romans 12:5

“A bishop (what we call a Pastor today) then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach;†Timothy 3:2

The leaders of the church are to set the example of monogamy. There are no examples in the Bible of healthy families from polygamous marriages. They are a recipe for disaster.

Homosexuality demonstrates that God doesn’t need the church but should find another God to be His companion; or that the church doesn’t need God, but should just find another church to fellowship with. This of course is ludicrous.

Romans 1:26-28 “For this cause (the denial of God) God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: (lesbianism) and likewise also the men leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men (homosexuality) working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; (Men are not designed to have sex with men)â€

Homosexuality is not a genetic inheritance, contrary to what the gay advocates would tell you. It is the result of environment, and a series of decisions made throughout life (The vast majority of gays were sexually molested as children, and come from homes with physically or mentally absentee fathers). We choose what attracts us by the thoughts we choose to dwell on. God makes it clear that homosexuality is a sin. It is a violent, unhealthy lifestyle.

“What about monogamous gay couples?†This is a lie perpetuated by the media and gay advocates. It simply is rare enough to say that for all intents and purposes it doesn’t exist.

And as with all sin, there is help. Those caught up in this lifestyle can ask for God’s forgiveness and receive further help through http://www.sbministries.org/members/sbm

The second purpose of marriage is to produce godly children.

Malachi 2:15 “And did not He make one? Yet had He the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That He might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.â€

The results of a marriage that does these two things are that the needs of both parties are filled; they have companionship, sexual fulfillment, an efficient division of labor, and a life of enjoyment. These are not the purposes of marriage, but the rewards. We must be careful not to confuse the results with the purpose.

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“What about monogamous gay couples?†This is a lie perpetuated by the media and gay advocates. It simply is rare enough to say that for all intents and purposes it doesn’t exist.
Don't lesbian couples have the highest rates of the monogamy? Sort of the opposite of rare there....
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What a degrading view of human sexuality, love and marriage.

Does the writer not realize that there is more to women then a hymen?

No. To these sort of people, a hymen is like the seal on your bottle of pills. If it's missing, throw it away and don't use it.

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No. To these sort of people, a hymen is like the seal on your bottle of pills. If it's missing, throw it away and don't use it.

:laughing-rollingyellow: Too true. I can't tell you how many of these cow lectures I've heard. Well, that and the "don't get pregnant out of wedlock because then you will either (1) end up unmarried and a complete slut forever or (2) you'll have an abortion and then God will punish you with sterility for your sins."

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#1 My mom never gave me the cow lecture. Quite the opposite. She said, "Would you buy shoes that you never tried on?" I was mortified.

#2 I waited for my husband, just not till he WAS my husband. I asked him once if he would have asked me to marry him sooner if I had insisted we wait (which he would have been fine with BTW). His reply was "Definitely, but I wouldn't have had as long to save up so you would have gotten a smaller ring." There you go. MY personal consequences? Bigger Rock. Suck it, Lori! haha :dance:

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Lori writes...Maybe God gave men such powerful sex drives so they would get married. Marriage is a very good thing ordained by God. Societies are healthy when there are a lot of married couples with children.

This notion assumes that men are always the higher-drive partner, which isn't always the case.

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I gave it away to my husband. Often, and in MANY different positions, and he STILL married me! HA. Suck on that one, fundies. :P

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My parents never talked about sex, so although they were pretty liberal Christians I absorbed a good bit of fundie-light ideas about sex outside of marriage. I assumed that people who waited until marriage were automatically good people, and that boys would never want to sleep with a girl who slept with more people than they had. Therefore, if I had sex, I would remove every automatically good boy from my dating pool and have to find a good person among more experienced boys who were less likely to be nice--it was a scary prospect that all future relationships would be risky after sex, not just because of pregnancy but because God wouldn't sprinkle divorce-resistant dust over your future marriage or something. I was surprised when my now-husband wanted to date me because I couldn't imagine a nice virgin guy would want to date a girl who'd already had sex. But here we are.

:doh:

Anyway, yeah, I think the attitude that people are worth more if they wait is harmful and certainly didn't do me any favors. I wish I could go back to younger me and say, "You're a feminist! You believe in egalitarian relationships! You don't need this stupid belief!"

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Don't lesbian couples have the highest rates of the monogamy? Sort of the opposite of rare there....

She clearly hasn't met a lot of teh gayz...

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