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Keep Feminine... Don't take out the trash.


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The poem itself isn't that bad, except for the last two stanzas.

I take poetry pretty seriously and I think it's bloody awful.

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South Carolina's gas costs as much as NJ's gas, which costs a bit less than the DC metro area's gas (have gotten gas in all three places within days of one another in the last few months). South Carolina does, in fact, have a gas tax; Perhaps you're thinking of some other car-related tax (we keep our car registered in SC for the lower tax rates)? I don't get how gas costs the same amount in NJ as it does in self service states *fist shaking*

There are a lot of refineries in NJ (hence the smell as you cross over the Delaware Memorial Bridge), perhaps that's why the gas is cheaper. Or it's a mob thing. :D

My brother grew up in New Jersey but after college moved to Indiana. He was visiting home once and out of habit got out of the car to pump his gas. The attendant came running out screaming at the rube (my brother happened to be wearing an IU shirt and IU hat at the time) he was not allowed to pump his own gas, it wasn't safe!

Back on topic, I still see this poem as "let the man do things for you instead of doing them yourself, that will make you more of a woman." Which I think could easily lead to circumstances in which the man thinks you aren't capable of doings these things yourself, leading him to conclude there's something wrong with you (or all women).

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Oh, come on, use your imagination!

I hoped there was something culturally more interesting to it than that. How boring.

ETA: I pointed out that I'm from Europe and have never thought about filling up a car as inherently gendered. Could have been that there was a more interesting explanation for this seemingly American-only thing. Thanks anyway.

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One of my odd jobs is to haul away trash from three different families. I live in a rural area so there is no trash service. I guess I'm a harlot.

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One of my odd jobs is to haul away trash from three different families. I live in a rural area so there is no trash service. I guess I'm a harlot.

Oh course you are, your "servicing" 3 different families and emasculating their men folk. You Jezebel!

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Oooh please reveal the identity of your secret contraption! I cannot open jar lids and a lot of bottle tops. I'm always asking people (note: not only men) to open them for me, which gets tiring. I don't know why I can't, I've just never been physically able to do it.

I dunno about Squirrel, but my crazy contraption is a butter knife... Just stick the tip between the jar and the edge of the top and pull up until you hear a pop. It's a trick my sister-in-law taught me.

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I hoped there was something culturally more interesting to it than that. How boring.

ETA: I pointed out that I'm from Europe and have never thought about filling up a car as inherently gendered. Could have been that there was a more interesting explanation for this seemingly American-only thing. Thanks anyway.

-uCqrolfm1g

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Sounds like someone's been reading Fascinating Womanhood. The big reason that book didn't work out for me is because it advises you to not to any "masculine" jobs (or, in older versions, to do them and screw up until your husband takes over). It doesn't make you more feminine though, it just makes you look lazy, especially if your a SAHM/SAHW and your husband works full time and then you expect him to come home and do little things you could have done yourself.

This attitude/teaching is one of the reasons some women latch on to Created to Be His Helpmeet- Debi Pearl goes on for a few paragraphs about how her husband does not take out the trash and how a woman married to a "command man" should expect to that and a lot of other jobs for herself. She even says women should fix stuff and work on cars or do whatever "masculine" activities they can around the house because it is a help to their husbands. It doesn't make up for the other crap they teach, but it I remember reading that book the first time around and feeling relived that someone else thought it was OK and I wasn't being some sort of failure at womanhood because I liked to build things and work with my hands. I think the Botkinettes even addressed this in one of their books or blogs, although couched in terms of supporting your husband or fathers' vision.

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-uCqrolfm1g

So...what are the socio-cultural implications of walking out of your lunch-break, while still chewing? Like, is that different between here and over there? :ugeek: :mrgreen:

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My biggest problem with this shitty excuse for a poem was with the "fill up the gas tank" part. What the fuck? It's not fucking rocket science to fill up a gas tank, nor does it require much physical strength. You unscrew the gas cap, pick up the gas nozzle, press the button for what type of fuel you want, insert nozzle, pump. I don't see why you need to be a Manly Man to fill up a... oh fuck it, we're talking fundies here.

None of that stuff is particularly difficult for either sex to do; and I can open my own damn jars, thank you very much. Admittedly, jars are sometimes just hard to open, but I don't pass them off to the nearest penis-bearer to preserve my femininity.

but then you might get smelly! That's what I've always heard about women who pump their own gas... they smell like gasoline and not like a lady!

As for the op poem... it's funny. The Partner takes out the trash here, because that's just where his jobs line up. I clean, he takes out the trash.. namely because I hate doing it. It's more of a lazy thing at this point, as I would only have to take it to the garage from the kitchen... a whopping 20 steps. Either way.. I suppose that makes me the femme in our relationship, oh joy.

I don't understand why it's that big a deal really. It's the damn trash.. it's a damn jar.. if that is all it takes to make you feel feminine... wow.

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Oooh please reveal the identity of your secret contraption! I cannot open jar lids and a lot of bottle tops. I'm always asking people (note: not only men) to open them for me, which gets tiring. I don't know why I can't, I've just never been physically able to do it.

My husband bought me this cool battery operated jar opener for Christmas. I fell and injured my wrist a few years ago & it's never healed right; opening jars makes it a lot worse. Very handy device.

Everyone puts the garbage outside the door, but dh takes it the half block to where it gets picked up, despite my repeated offers to help. I think he still considers it an accomplishment, since he couldn't for over 6 months after he got out of hospital.

As for gas, I've pumped it a few times, but we haven't had a car in 10 years and most places are full serve, so it's not something I've done much. I hit the start button on the pumps when I worked a gas station/convenience store though...does that count? :lol:

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It really just makes me sick, this whole...*best southern belle accent 'poor little female me, I declare I need assistance with the most basic manual labor, otherwise I may just swoon!"

And whats worse is you know the men who LOVE this kind of tripe too, *best caveman voice* "me macho, open jar, sex now!"

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I took out the trash and the recycling this week, and still managed to get my period. I guess I'm still feminine.

Me too! We must be cycling together!!!!1111 :lol:

Garbage? It just depends on who throws something in it and decides it's full. Hubby often takes it out on his way to work; the bin area is right next to our space in the carport. My next door neighbor has also rigged up the bin so you don't have to go to ground level; we're on the 1st floor and I just have to walk past 3 apts. to a patio area and pull up the twine attached to hooks on the bins and drop the bag down.

Gas? Don't drive, never have. But I'm sure I could pump gas if I had to, can't be that tough.

Jars? Only if they're really big (I have small hands) and my usual loosening trick of 3 whacks with the back of a chef's knife doesn't loosen it up. It's happened, but I can't remember when.

Guess I'm too manly for words, despite all that menstruation stuff. :dance:

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I live alone. If I didn't take out the trash and clean the cat box and fill my gas tank I would have an unlivable house and a car that wouldn't take me to my job.

I'm so manly I have a...*checks pants*...wait, no, no penis here. Whaddyaknow. I guess I'm still a woman. *GASP* I guess I'll be using those pads in the bathroom cupboard after all!

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Mrs. Dixon wrote this over 2 years ago. I daresay she's feeling a little differently about her position in the household now. One of her recent posts ( jacquedixon.com/?p=760491 ) links to a scripture study that says this:

The woman was never meant to be an assistant or "helpmate" to the man. The word "mate" slipped into English since it was so close to the Old English word "meet," which means "fit to" or "corresponding to" the man which comes from the phrase that likely means "equal to."

What God had intended, then, was to make a "power" or "strength" for the man who would in every way "correspond to him" or even "be his equal.""

The Torah Study for Reform Jews says, "From the time of creation, relationships between spouses have at times been adversarial. In Genesis 2:18, God calls woman an ezer kenegdo, a "helper against him." The great commentator Rashi takes the term literally to make a wonderful point: "If he [Adam] is worthy, [she will be] a help [ezer]. If he is not worthy [she will be] against him [kenegdo] for strife." This Jewish study also described man and woman facing each other with arms raised holding an arch between them, giving a beautiful picture of equal responsibility

But I bet she still doesn't take out the trash.

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Hmm, let's see.

open the door: Mr. Snowe and I are pretty equal about that. If it's the main door to the building, I usually open it because I am a bit rabid about the %£^$% people in our building who keep breaking it and thus it stays unlocked a lot,so I like to monitor the situation.

or take out the trash for me: I do ask Mr. Snowe to do this, but I will always take care of the bathroom trash myself, as it generally has used pantyliners and that's my responsibility. And I take it out if it needs to be done. Taking out the recycling is generally something we do together.

fill up the gas tank: we don't have a car but if we did, he'd be the only one driving it. I'd be happy to learn how to fill up. :auto-car:

and shovel the dirt: not much call for that, but when I lived in the states, I shoveled plenty of snow, thanks.

open the jar: either a few whacks on the side of the counter, or running it under hot water, generally does the trick. If not, then I do hand it over, but it's always with the proviso that his immediate ability to open it is due to my 'having loosened it up for him' :D

Basically, our main division of household labor is that I do nearly all of the cooking, and even when he cooks I cut up the vegetables for him, but when I cook he sits on the sofa reading me funny things from the internet.

Dunno. If anything about our relationship made me feel less of a woman, it would be that Mr. Snowe's hair is longer and shinier than mine. :character-daphne:

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A 'lovely' poem I found... :| trainingdaughtersteachingwives.com/?p=704

:roll:

Thought you ladies might have some words for this tripe!!!

Why are you hating on tripe?

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Oh course you are, your "servicing" 3 different families and emasculating their men folk. You Jezebel!

*smacks hand* Shame on me!

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I dunno about Squirrel, but my crazy contraption is a butter knife... Just stick the tip between the jar and the edge of the top and pull up until you hear a pop. It's a trick my sister-in-law taught me.

I used to take the handle of the butter knife and smack the top of the lid all the way around until I heard the seal pop. But now I use this. It's nothing fancy, but it works like a charm!

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I do have to admit that if not taking out the trash, then I am the epitome of the special feminine snowflake, because I can't recall the last time I took it out at home. According to my children, that's why I had kids in the first place...to get out of chores and lawn care (tic if course.)

Although I do pump gas to get to my evil job, and lately swear quite a bit while doing so given the price of a fill up these days - so I guess I'm a man after all. Who knew?

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I generally use a spoon to open jars, or, if that doesn't work, I stick a rubber band around the lid to get a better grip.

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I have really small hands, so I often get my much stronger younger sister to open jars. I also live in a household consisting of three women and one man, so women usually *do* take out the trash, especially bathroom trash considering it's a household of three women of menstruating age...

And yeah, you know for all that Jacque Dixon wears the trousers in the Dixon house, she still condemns teh ebil feminism :roll:

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A 'lovely' poem I found... :| trainingdaughtersteachingwives.com/?p=704

:roll:

Thought you ladies might have some words for this tripe!!!

I don't mind if I

Open your door

Or take out the trash sometimes.

I don't mind if I

Fill up my own gas tank

(And yours too, if I borrow your car)

I'm glad you do these things for me too.

I'm glad that you

Don't expect me to play weak and helpless

While I cater to your every whim.

Because if you did

It wouldn't be long

Before the beauty of my design

Would target your splendid

Headship

With my womanly, defrauding knee.

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